"I'm not the person you married"

Dear wife, I'm sorry but I call bull shit. I do 90% of the laundry and 60-70% of everything else and around my work I cater for our children as much as you if not more. Your complaints of having headache's and being too tired don't wash with me anymore. I am also extremely tired but I don't continuously use it as a reason to excuse myself from making myself available to you as an intimate partner. I married you so therefore I would never consider doing such a thing, reasonable. If I ever do please feel free to hunt as much cock as you like as I should never have left you such a horrible position, a position that makes you feel like an ugly reject who has no clue how to please you. It's odd you have energy and finances for sports and social outings each and every week but 15 minutes of intimacy that costs you $0, requires 0 baby sitter and very little organisation just once a week is beyond your capabilities. I can't even fathom it. If the reason for our current dilemma is our children please explain why and how the issue started pre children by at least 18 months. I am lost on that one! Again I smell bull shit and believe you are excusing your lack of willingness to consider sexual intimacy important, that is until you fancy some cock of course. P.S I love you too xx

I'm not sure which is worse, all of the excuses or the insinuation that the H does absolutely nothing at home. If we are to believe this person, if she did not care so much about the "important stuff", everything would fall apart. After all H can drive a car, make his own lunch, and take himself to the doctor, but she has to worry about everything else. Remember, "because no one person can do it all." Hell, if he really is that much of a deadbeat...

This is one of the few times I think I might disagree with you baz.  I take from hopingforchange's reply that he has read some of her later tweets on her marriage. In one at least she writes she will not be considering divorce,  for the moment. So it seems she recognizes that that dynamic is readily apparent as a possible result of what's going on.  She recognizes that the marriage is dead in the water and what they have now is essentially a parenting partnership. She may not realize she is already 1/2 of an ILIASM shithole.
From this one article it's impossible to tell how much her H has contributed to this dynamic. Maybe a little by being passive, maybe a lot by seeding control of everything that happens at home to her. Maybe work plays the same role for him as motherhood does for her. I can't tell. But reading between the lines says to me he isn't putting up much resistance or he's perhaps in agreement with the ways their roles are currently defined. Maybe he's just a pu**y whipped metrosexual office drone. Or maybe he is at a loss and doesn't know what to do, scared of jeopardizing his relationship with his sons. Whatever or however he sees himself, I don't think it is as a hands  involved and engaged husband and father.  I assume he reads her open letters and tweets to the magazine. It would be interesting to read his response.  

She wants credit for martyrdom when she admits she wouldn't change a thing.
Yeah - about that - HE may.
If she wants to self-sacrifice so much that she has NO "her" left at the end of the day, that may be her freedom to do so. But I assume she also expects monogamy. And that unilateral decision that results in his celibacy shouldn't be tolerated. (Unless he's happy with it, & it sounds like she knows he isn't)
If you "can't turn off mother mode" then you may end up a single mom. That's just the facts, ma'am.
I appreciate flashjohn's response too. You want a business partner- we'll make some deals.
She will be shocked when she realizes that this level of self-sacrifice is psychologically unhealthy & she's not even a good role model for her sons to know what to look for in a partner.
Quit micromanaging every detail of all their lives. Quit putting yourself last. You don't get a trophy for this! You get regrets. You get emptiness. You get lost without knowing how to find your way back.
In the end, that's sad for her too - she just doesn't know that yet.

She sounds like a micromanager at home, so she could have issues with things not being done her way, so he has given up.

I have a combination of both; she is terrified of giving up control, except for the things she feels like she has no control over whatsoever, in which case they fall by the wayside and aren't even on her conscious list of priorities. So she micromanages what she feels she can control, and either critiques me to death on any attempts to help with them, or won't let me make the attempt to begin with. It's been a matter of taking care of what I can, and doing the rest when she wasn't home- all the more reason living elsewhere has been such a relief. If I can't have a teammate working in the same direction as me, it's easier doing it myself without somebody actively working against me or perpendicular to me. 

You're almost out, eternaloptimism. I'm plotting the completion of my own escape as well. 

This article made me very sad. I feel very much like I could still be a fun loving sexy bad girl AND a mother. I watch all my friends do it. It's just that once some women cast themselves as a mother they can't see themselves as anything else, in any other role. And sometimes this role is thrust upon us. Actually, I feel I have been cast in this role by my husband, and he can't see me as anything else. I feel like the nanny sometimes.