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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2017 13:29:44 GMT -5
I set one up on the old EP site and basically every time anyone posted people from the old ILIASM group there would come over and pile on the abuse so people stopped posting. Of course there is such a site. It's called AVEN. And they talk about the abuse they get from their sexual spouses, demanding sex, of all things. And I have no doubt some of our spouses post there. Many others would feel right at home. Perhaps most? If you want to know what most of our spouses are thinking, there's no need to speculate endlessly. They're quite candid over there. Yes that's the Asexuals. Asexuality is a sexual orientation like heterosexuality and homosexuality but it is rare. Far more Refusing spouses do it because of physical or psychological illness, a lack of or loss of attraction and interpersonal relationship difficulties. Many, if not most like sex, just not with their spouse. Those were the people my EP group was focused on. |
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Post by beachguy on Jan 28, 2017 14:19:18 GMT -5
Of course there is such a site. It's called AVEN. And they talk about the abuse they get from their sexual spouses, demanding sex, of all things. And I have no doubt some of our spouses post there. Many others would feel right at home. Perhaps most? If you want to know what most of our spouses are thinking, there's no need to speculate endlessly. They're quite candid over there. Yes that's the Asexuals. Asexuality is a sexual orientation like heterosexuality and homosexuality but it is rare. Far more Refusing spouses do it because of physical or psychological illness, a lack of or loss of attraction and interpersonal relationship difficulties. Many, if not most like sex, just not with their spouse. Those were the people my EP group was focused on. The claimed rarity of asexuality: 1%. There are 60 million married couples in the USA alone and far more represented by the net cast by this international site. Just in the USA that would represent 1.2 million asexuals. That is far more than enough to account for everyone here, on a statistical basis. We're a drop in the bucket, and it is logical that we would be a magnet for spouses that are married to asexuals. I'm not saying all our refusers are asexual, just that the statistics do not in any way preclude it. And that assumes the AVEN estimate is correct. In fact it's a WAG and I've seen estimates suggested of up to 8%. AVEN asserts that asexuality is an orientation, but with no scientific evidence to back that assertion up. I have found nothing to suggest that that assertion is anything more than mass group think. There is no evidence that many/most/all do not have some underlying psychological issue from childhood. They also assert that you aren't asexual unless you label yourself that way. But that does not preclude anyone else, who refuses to label themselves that way, from considering "pressure" to have a sexual marriage a form of abuse. In fact, there is no evidence that everyone on AVEN identifying as asexual is asexual. It's kind of like making a self diagnosis the final word in that matter? You've actually sidetracked me from the point I was making. Simply that there is a site full of people that talk about the expectation of sex in marriage as a form of abuse. That is a fact. Getting into the minutia of asexuality and it's rarity is irrelevant to that simple observation. The accuracy of the "diagnosis" is irrelevant to my point. Which is simply that there is a huge roomful of people that consider the expectation of sex to be abusive. And anyone interested in that subject will learn more there than trying to divine the minds of our refusers represented here via their spouses. "Far more Refusing spouses do it because of physical or psychological illness, a lack of or loss of attraction and interpersonal relationship difficulties. " Do you have any factual basis for making that claim? Surely you have some statistics? |
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Post by csl on Jan 29, 2017 8:04:26 GMT -5
If AVEN claims that 1% of the population is asexual, there is a huge disconnect (or somebody's lying) somewhere, 'cause that can't account for the fact that 20% of marriages today are sexless.
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Post by Lithium92 on Jan 29, 2017 8:52:18 GMT -5
This is true, and my impression is that there's an inordinately high proportion of AVENites with psychological issues. But with my skeptic hat on, I have to say the onus is on you to prove your claim, just as it's on them to prove it's an orientation, even though I can't think of a way to nullify that, especially as it's ringed round with so many qualifications. Which may be the point, of course.
In fact, there is no evidence that everyone on AVEN identifying as asexual is asexual. It's kind of like making a self diagnosis the final word in that matter?
It's not even 'like' that... it's explicitly AVEN's position, and it's ludicrous.
anyone interested in that subject will learn more there than trying to divine the minds of our refusers represented here via their spouses.
This is very true. I know I have.
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Post by bballgirl on Jan 29, 2017 9:44:19 GMT -5
If AVEN claims that 1% of the population is asexual, there is a huge disconnect (or somebody's lying) somewhere, 'cause that can't account for the fact that 20% of marriages today are sexless. The men to women ratio on EP was about 50/50. Are there stats about male to female ratio. When it comes to refuser men, I really don't believe most are asexual. I could be totally wrong it's just my gut feeling that more women are asexual. For men I believe there are psychological issues, porn addictions, ED, health, so many variables why a man doesn't want to fuck his wife. I'm just curious to the ratio. |
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Post by Lithium92 on Jan 29, 2017 9:57:50 GMT -5
There are stats about AVEN's m/f ratio, as they do surveys  It's skewed young, college educated, and about 2-1 in favour of females. |
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