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Post by wom360 on Dec 9, 2016 19:19:49 GMT -5
You worry way too much about other people's wishes. Seriously man. It's a character flaw. And if you don't get yourself sorted you're doomed to repeat.
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 10, 2016 11:17:48 GMT -5
You worry way too much about other people's wishes. Seriously man. It's a character flaw. And if you don't get yourself sorted you're doomed to repeat. Well, you're not wrong there at all. Not sure when that started happening, but once I finish the whole "how am I getting out" thing in therapy, the next phase will be, "how do we keep this from happening again?" I've recognized for a while that's how I ended up in the situation I'm in. |
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Post by lyn on Dec 10, 2016 13:09:14 GMT -5
You worry way too much about other people's wishes. Seriously man. It's a character flaw. And if you don't get yourself sorted you're doomed to repeat. Well, you're not wrong there at all. Not sure when that started happening, but once I finish the whole "how am I getting out" thing in therapy, the next phase will be, "how do we keep this from happening again?" I've recognized for a while that's how I ended up in the situation I'm in. At the very least through all of this cagedtiger, you've learned what you will NOT accept in a future mate. That's not-for-nothing. Learning to recognize these red flags is huge. There are kind, open, loving women out there. You'll find one - if she starts displaying attributes similar to your H then, "NEXT!". Life is too short. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 10, 2016 13:31:27 GMT -5
Well, you're not wrong there at all. Not sure when that started happening, but once I finish the whole "how am I getting out" thing in therapy, the next phase will be, "how do we keep this from happening again?" I've recognized for a while that's how I ended up in the situation I'm in. At the very least through all of this cagedtiger , you've learned what you will NOT accept in a future mate. That's not-for-nothing. Learning to recognize these red flags is huge. There are kind, open, loving women out there. You'll find one - if she starts displaying attributes similar to your H then, "NEXT!". Life is too short. You're absolutely right- that's the takeaway I've been seeing in this whole thing. And active women. One thing that's come up time and again in our couples counseling has been the difference in energy levels and activities in which we like to partake. |
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Post by novembercomingfire on Dec 10, 2016 14:16:35 GMT -5
At the very least through all of this cagedtiger , you've learned what you will NOT accept in a future mate. That's not-for-nothing. Learning to recognize these red flags is huge. There are kind, open, loving women out there. You'll find one - if she starts displaying attributes similar to your H then, "NEXT!". Life is too short. You're absolutely right- that's the takeaway I've been seeing in this whole thing. And active women. One thing that's come up time and again in our couples counseling has been the difference in energy levels and activities in which we like to partake. Whoa! Isn't that the truth. I wake up in the morning perplexed to the degree that my wife seems to long to be old and enfeebled. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 10, 2016 14:30:51 GMT -5
You're absolutely right- that's the takeaway I've been seeing in this whole thing. And active women. One thing that's come up time and again in our couples counseling has been the difference in energy levels and activities in which we like to partake. Whoa! Isn't that the truth. I wake up in the morning perplexed to the degree that my wife seems to long to be old and enfeebled. We're going out of town for Christmas and taking the dogs. I'm most excited about being close to downtown and taking the dogs for runs and walks along the river and through the historic district there. She's most excited that the hotel leaves moon pies on the pillow. |
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Post by nancyb on Dec 10, 2016 15:07:52 GMT -5
CagedTiger: Umm excuse me...what the hell is a 'moon pie'? LOL
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Post by novembercomingfire on Dec 10, 2016 15:13:12 GMT -5
Whoa! Isn't that the truth. I wake up in the morning perplexed to the degree that my wife seems to long to be old and enfeebled. We're going out of town for Christmas and taking the dogs. I'm most excited about being close to downtown and taking the dogs for runs and walks along the river and through the historic district there. She's most excited that the hotel leaves moon pies on the pillow. I am laughing. Not at you. It's just so familiar. My wife would be readying the list of illnesses that would preclude her from having sex, but would not in any way serve as a barrier to her walking around and spending money. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 10, 2016 15:31:09 GMT -5
CagedTiger: Umm excuse me...what the hell is a 'moon pie'? LOL It's a popular snack dessert treat here in the South a lot like a Little Debbie snack cake. Two round graham crackers, marshmellow-ish filling in-between, all dipped in chocolate. Looks like this:  |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Dec 10, 2016 15:42:49 GMT -5
CagedTiger: Umm excuse me...what the hell is a 'moon pie'? LOL It's a popular snack dessert treat here in the South a lot like a Little Debbie snack cake. Two round graham crackers, marshmellow-ish filling in-between, all dipped in chocolate. Looks like this: This is not a sexless-only snack. My daddy loves moon pies (I am the youngest of 11 & they didn't get pregnant every time they had sex). Just to be clear. But the focus difference in the couple here is stark, cagedtiger: you on the active, engaging doing of something & her on the effortless, passive, receiving of a perceived treat. Earlier reference to desiring to be old & feeble calls to mind @smartkat's refuser. And mine too. Life shouldn't be something done TO us. Living should be something we exert energy to DO. |
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Post by lyn on Dec 10, 2016 15:56:53 GMT -5
Whoa! Isn't that the truth. I wake up in the morning perplexed to the degree that my wife seems to long to be old and enfeebled. We're going out of town for Christmas and taking the dogs. I'm most excited about being close to downtown and taking the dogs for runs and walks along the river and through the historic district there. She's most excited that the hotel leaves moon pies on the pillow. Smart move cagedtiger! Dogs never disappoint - even when they leave their "gifts" on the new carpet or the corner of the couch. Sounds like you have a surefire plan to have a good time - with the dogs. (Let her lay in the room and watch tv. Her loss). My dog IS my husband lol....... certainly the most gratifying male/female relationship I've ever had with another creature not blood-related to me. |
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Post by thebaffledking on Dec 10, 2016 17:12:29 GMT -5
cagedtiger, just FYI, I am also going to try and blow down the exit door in January. I'm rooting for you! It feels good to know someone else is going through the same stuff and on the same timeline. Of course there are thousands upon thousands who will make their exits in January, but we're right here together..........let's blow the roof off this place and give ourselves a couple of great reasons to ring in this New Year with Freedom Bells! If you ever want to PM me, please feel free.
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Post by csl on Dec 10, 2016 20:20:53 GMT -5
CagedTiger: Umm excuse me...what the hell is a 'moon pie'? LOL It's a popular snack dessert treat here in the South a lot like a Little Debbie snack cake. Two round graham crackers, marshmellow-ish filling in-between, all dipped in chocolate. Looks like this: Back in the 30's, the Moon Pie became part of the "Workingman's Lunch" in the South, along with an RC Cola. The biggest snack you could buy for a nickel, and the RC Cola was the biggest drink you could buy for a nickel. Hence, for a dime you got a large snack and a drink. There was even a song: |
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Post by nancyb on Dec 10, 2016 20:32:02 GMT -5
Thank you csl. Fascinating bit of history.  |
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Post by becca on Dec 10, 2016 22:03:22 GMT -5
CagedTiger: Umm excuse me...what the hell is a 'moon pie'? LOL It's a popular snack dessert treat here in the South a lot like a Little Debbie snack cake. Two round graham crackers, marshmellow-ish filling in-between, all dipped in chocolate. Looks like this: These are strictly in the South? Huh. Someone else told me recently that BC/Goody powders are a Southern thing too. I knew grits and sweet tea were definitely regional but moon pies? I really need to get out more. |
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