Nowhere To Go For Answers
Oct 13, 2016 17:34:30 GMT -5
via mobile
greatcoastal, LiterallyFFS, and 1 more like this
Post by DryCreek on Oct 13, 2016 17:34:30 GMT -5
Hi, miggs29, and welcome.
I'll agree that we probably have a hard time comprehending what sunniedays is experiencing, and what you've experienced. But I don't think we've been critical of her condition in spite of that.
Rather, the criticism is surrounding her reaction to the situation and her unwillingness to have an honest open dialog with her husband around how to work within those constraints. Instead, she's making decisions without his input or knowledge that have a significant impact on him personally - that's not fair or loving.
Many of us here find ourselves on the other end of this stick, where it's apparent that intimacy has been withdrawn but we are left in the dark about that decision. We're left to conclude that we've done something wrong (that we might like to redeem ourselves for), but are left guessing what that is, which leads to a lot of angst and destroys self confidence.
A lot of us would love to have an honest discussion about where things stand, why, and the future. I think most of our spouses aren't willing to have that conversation. Perhaps because they refuse to acknowledge their role in the matter, have no motivation to change the situation, or don't want to risk the fallout from that discussion. Ignoring it is the easiest way to perpetuate the status-quo, which only meets their needs.
I'll agree that we probably have a hard time comprehending what sunniedays is experiencing, and what you've experienced. But I don't think we've been critical of her condition in spite of that.
Rather, the criticism is surrounding her reaction to the situation and her unwillingness to have an honest open dialog with her husband around how to work within those constraints. Instead, she's making decisions without his input or knowledge that have a significant impact on him personally - that's not fair or loving.
Many of us here find ourselves on the other end of this stick, where it's apparent that intimacy has been withdrawn but we are left in the dark about that decision. We're left to conclude that we've done something wrong (that we might like to redeem ourselves for), but are left guessing what that is, which leads to a lot of angst and destroys self confidence.
A lot of us would love to have an honest discussion about where things stand, why, and the future. I think most of our spouses aren't willing to have that conversation. Perhaps because they refuse to acknowledge their role in the matter, have no motivation to change the situation, or don't want to risk the fallout from that discussion. Ignoring it is the easiest way to perpetuate the status-quo, which only meets their needs.
