|
Post by tiredoftears on Jul 26, 2017 22:48:15 GMT -5
This is pure speculation Sister tiredoftears , but see if you think there is anything in it. Up until November 2015 he mebbe thought he was "rescuing" you, which gave him a self image of the white knight. But since Nov 2015, you appear to have gotten your shit together and are quite the self sufficient and responsible person. So his role as white knight may no longer exist. And that might not sit well with him. So he is trying to wrest back control to a point where you need him, and is using sex (or the lack there-of) to put you back in your place. Suffice to say, it does not look like a healthy relationship. Huh... I never thought of it that way.... Interesting speculation.
|
|
|
Post by tiredoftears on Jul 26, 2017 15:16:56 GMT -5
This seems to be the very path I am headed on. He is still affectionate, holding hands, a peck at bedtime, his hand resting near my knee while we watch t.v., but his sexual interest for me died my third month of pregnancy, and our son is almost 14 months old now. I have repeatedly confronted him about the issue, but nothing gets resolved. I feel like I have no control in my life. No personal pleasures, no personality, and voy, did I have a wild personality before all this. If I could offer a bit of hope then. With new/young children it's very hard to determine what path you're on as a couple. If your life as a couple was working fairly well before kids then the stress level (not to mention hormones) has just been turned up which is hard on almost everyone. When my wife was pregnant and then a new Mom, it wasn't that my attraction to her and desire for her had waned, I was just worried about hurting her or the baby. It's also quite easy for Dads to feel a little left out now that the Mom/kid bond is around. If he won't say what the problem is then it's certainly hard for you to sort it out so please persist. Hopefully things will smooth out. Also, take care of yourself. No... We lived together for two years before we decided to be in a relationship, and i becMe pregnant just three months afterwards, but the first few years we lived together we didn't have sex because he was just a friend, and I was just a "masseuse" (escort) that needed a place to stay and work from. Oh, sure, we would go out to dinner fairly regularly, and I usually paid because he didn't ask fkr any rent money or anything, but it was a platonic relationship. I was thin, very sexy, and outside of "work", I had several men around 20 that I was screwing, or I'd stop seeing one and find another and I was drinking every day and on meth. After a few years of this, one day his dog got very sick because she was 14 years old, and after a month of her being sick we had to put her down. He was SO devestated, because this dog had belonged to his mother that had passed not too long before we met( i moved in about four months after we met.) So... I decided to do my best to comfort him(we had sex) and then I decided he was a really nice guy, and began to feel guilty thinking maybe I had been taking advantage of his good nature. So, i broke it off with all my fuck buddies, and stopped "working", because he usually insisted on paying everything himself anyway. I think he knew about my drug use back then, but he never asked and I never told him. So in July 2015, is when the dog died, November 2015 I found out I was pregnant(the day I found out, I quit smoking cigarettes, pot, meth, and quit drinking, I just gave it all to this gay guy I used to get high with). Thanksgiving he introduced gis family to me, and said we would tell them on Christmas I was pregnant. Our sex life was fine till Christmas. Then it just... stopped. My whole pregnancy, I was very depressed because I had given up everything I should, and suddenly he just stopped giving me the one pleasure I had left. And the porn... He would spend HOURS watching porn and playing with himself. I would fall asleep while we were watching tv, and wake up to the whole bed shaking because he was masturbating so fervently, even though before I fell asleep he turned me down because he was tired from working all day, he had a headache, he felt ill in general, the list goes on.... I was doing everything right, wasn't I? I was still dressing up cute, doing my hair and makeup, and I had gotten on the right path, i stopped hanging out with ALL undesirable type people, so why was I being punished? My sixth month of pregnancy is when I began to turn to food... I still do. I'm still clean, but I started smoking cigarettes again very recently, to have something to do besides eat that I know gives me some kind of pleasure. So.... That's most of my story...
|
|
|
Post by tiredoftears on Jul 26, 2017 4:19:34 GMT -5
In my case, it was only in the last two months of my marriage during a very heated discussion that he finally admitted that he had lost desire for me 18 years previously after our youngest was born. He may as well have sucker punched me. All those years - 20 plus years of me why chasing, trying all sorts to gain his interest, making his life super comfortable and working myself to the bone, losing my personality in the meantime, the facade, confused as he still liked to cuddle and hold hands and kiss.... That one sentence he came out with in that argument and I saw the light. There was no fixing this. All those wasted years. The final nail in the coffin. This seems to be the very path I am headed on. He is still affectionate, holding hands, a peck at bedtime, his hand resting near my knee while we watch t.v., but his sexual interest for me died my third month of pregnancy, and our son is almost 14 months old now. I have repeatedly confronted him about the issue, but nothing gets resolved. I feel like I have no control in my life. No personal pleasures, no personality, and voy, did I have a wild personality before all this.
|
|
|
Post by tiredoftears on Jul 18, 2017 11:28:03 GMT -5
Thank you
|
|
|
Post by tiredoftears on Jul 18, 2017 10:59:00 GMT -5
My sadness far outweighs any other emotion, life is becoming a pit of despair into which I sink... The only thing I enjoy anymore is food. In less than two years, my weight has doubled. I am getting scared of my emotions, and sexual urges... Every one leads to a binge. My s/o enables me, offering more and more food, looking for new resteraunts... I wonder if he is ensuring I get fatter and fatter to depend on him, and to give reason to why he won't have sex with me. So that I can be the one to blame. Sigh...
|
|