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Post by Venus Erotes on Mar 19, 2017 21:07:43 GMT -5
Well, I have decided that the root cause is a total lack of regard for the partner. If you love your partner, you want him/her to be happy and satisfied. If you don't, the other's happiness and satisfaction does not matter. As sad as it is, a refuser does NOT love his/her spouse. For the most part, I agree. My hubs does love me - as much as he has the ability to love anyone. It pains him to see me leave to see another man. The significant damage done by the sexual abuser when he was 12 renders him unable to understand intimacy. Alas the abuse, taught him to love someone is to be abused by them. As for the others, I can not identify. To me, making love is the ultimate expression of love to your partner. Physically displaying ALL of your vulnerabilities, and connecting on an intimate level is so important to the relationship. Those that don't understand it need to dig to find out why. If they aren't willing to help themselves, they will never be able to help their partner. So glad I have a boyfriend :-D
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Post by Venus Erotes on Mar 19, 2017 13:30:27 GMT -5
Thank you Flash! So are you speedy? Or do you like to flash people? I know there are sites for that too HA! I'll dig in soon to read up on everyone soon! Well I am not speedy, soooo... Not speedy in bed is a GOOD thing!
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Post by Venus Erotes on Mar 19, 2017 13:26:37 GMT -5
She's not healthy and until she is willing to address her issues she won't change. You have to do what is best for you. You can still love and support if you want to, but you need to live your life and not let anyone hold you back. You deserve the love you are looking for. We all do! WOW I miss EP. So glad I came across this! Thank you for the support. I miss EP too, but find SW to be pretty good. A lot of youngin's on there so you have to get past all the random sh*t. I find this site and SW to be helpful for talking with people in similar situations and it helps keep me sane. What is SW? Would love to check it out....
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Post by Venus Erotes on Mar 3, 2017 18:39:23 GMT -5
Happy Saturday! I was part of the EP group. Wish I could get back there and retrieve my posts. So much there I want to use to create my own site based on my history. At least it's all in my head, or most of it is anyway.... I hope all of you are well and have figured out how to fill the sexual void in your lives. Hubs and I have an open marriage - we are together for the kids. Don't get me wrong, I still love him, but I know now I married him for all the wrong reasons. He was sexually abused by a camp counselor, and I am a second hand survivor of that abuse. 20 years together and a major lack of intimacy that crushed me. I have a boyfriend who is amazing and fills the voids in my life, and I hope he and I have a fruitful future together. *Ann Welcome Ann. I am sorry for your situation, but glad you found someone to help with the void. I hope you can eventually find a long term solution. Thank you Flash! So are you speedy? Or do you like to flash people? I know there are sites for that too HA! I'll dig in soon to read up on everyone soon!
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Post by Venus Erotes on Mar 3, 2017 18:35:49 GMT -5
Welcome, but I am sorry you are here. I have to say, your wife's excuses are bullshit. You are NOT her abuser, and if she is still saying her self-conscious says you are, she needs to get therapy to resolve this. Thanks Flash. But therapy is what brought out what her subconscious was doing. She's been to a few therapists over the years, and each time she ends up ending it because she doesn't want to look within. Everything else is hunky-dory besides the intimacy... ok, not perfect, but good. She's not healthy and until she is willing to address her issues she won't change. You have to do what is best for you. You can still love and support if you want to, but you need to live your life and not let anyone hold you back. You deserve the love you are looking for. We all do! WOW I miss EP. So glad I came across this!
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Post by Venus Erotes on Feb 25, 2017 17:14:12 GMT -5
Happy Saturday!
I was part of the EP group. Wish I could get back there and retrieve my posts. So much there I want to use to create my own site based on my history. At least it's all in my head, or most of it is anyway....
I hope all of you are well and have figured out how to fill the sexual void in your lives. Hubs and I have an open marriage - we are together for the kids. Don't get me wrong, I still love him, but I know now I married him for all the wrong reasons. He was sexually abused by a camp counselor, and I am a second hand survivor of that abuse. 20 years together and a major lack of intimacy that crushed me. I have a boyfriend who is amazing and fills the voids in my life, and I hope he and I have a fruitful future together.
*Ann
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