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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 7, 2017 9:14:48 GMT -5
Venus Erotes : I definitely support anything that will help support the ILIASM community, and wish you well in your endeavor. If/when you have free events (eg. guest speakers or web presentations, etc) I look forward to you publicizing them to this forum's membership as well. I'd like to suggest that you start a new thread in the " Resources" board about your new site, and update that thread from time to time with descriptions of your offerings and events. All members: please read my recent post " Security Talk: using same login, pswd & email on other sites". Be safe out there... GREAT IDEA! Yes, I would LOVE to bring that content here a well! I'll add my site to resources once I get home tonight. Day job gets in the way! Thank you Thank you!!!!!
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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 7, 2017 8:50:36 GMT -5
You're right, it will be much of the same, however my site will have a twist that isn't available on free forums. I want to provide the community with professional resources - beyond links to articles, and stats. I want to bring in sex therapists, counselors, even attorneys for those looking to take the next step in leaving their marriage. Their input will be anything from a guest blog post, to live webinars, and conference calls where member questions can be asked and answered. The best way I can describe it - I want to be the Oprah show (in online format) for the SM community. I also have a conference call account so we could all have a night where we can ALL get together! Once I start charging for membership, that revenue will support these efforts and I want to offer member only content that we find beneficial. Who knows, if it grows I would love to be able to find a therapist to give free counseling for a year via a member only contest. All of us here KNOW what we live with. Not everyone knows they are NOT alone and I am going to make sure they KNOW it's not just them. People don't talk about SM, they tend to suffer in silence, unless they happen to come across a forum such as this one, which is difficult to find. I need help building the community which is why I am offering it as a free lifetime membership for now. If you don't think you will find value in the free offerings to members, there's no reason for you to join. Really lovely idea Venus Erotes Thank you! I really want to HELP people living in this disaster. We married the wrong people and sadly some believe divorce means failure. I view it as personal growth. Society needs to get it's head out of it's ass....
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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 6, 2017 18:41:26 GMT -5
Finally getting it where I want it! If you have registered, but it won't reset your password, let me know. I will email you a site generated password and you can change it in your profile once you are logged in. sexlessmarriage.supportI can neither login (told it is a wrong email) nor reregister (username taken)...asked to send lost password- nothing arrived ... I will email you a new password and once you are logged in you can change it in your profile. Sorry for the trouble! I'm going to do that right now!
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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 6, 2017 18:36:22 GMT -5
I congratulate you on your initiative but I wonder what your site will provide that is not currently available here. Same here. You're right, it will be much of the same, however my site will have a twist that isn't available on free forums. I want to provide the community with professional resources - beyond links to articles, and stats. I want to bring in sex therapists, counselors, even attorneys for those looking to take the next step in leaving their marriage. Their input will be anything from a guest blog post, to live webinars, and conference calls where member questions can be asked and answered. The best way I can describe it - I want to be the Oprah show (in online format) for the SM community. I also have a conference call account so we could all have a night where we can ALL get together! Once I start charging for membership, that revenue will support these efforts and I want to offer member only content that we find beneficial. Who knows, if it grows I would love to be able to find a therapist to give free counseling for a year via a member only contest. All of us here KNOW what we live with. Not everyone knows they are NOT alone and I am going to make sure they KNOW it's not just them. People don't talk about SM, they tend to suffer in silence, unless they happen to come across a forum such as this one, which is difficult to find. I need help building the community which is why I am offering it as a free lifetime membership for now. If you don't think you will find value in the free offerings to members, there's no reason for you to join.
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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 6, 2017 18:20:54 GMT -5
Finally getting it where I want it! If you have registered, but it won't reset your password, let me know. I will email you a site generated password and you can change it in your profile once you are logged in. sexlessmarriage.supportHey notlovingit, I finally was able to log in and register. Cool, thanks Thank you so much solodriver! I appreciate it!
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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 5, 2017 20:58:00 GMT -5
Finally getting it where I want it! If you have registered, but it won't reset your password, let me know. I will email you a site generated password and you can change it in your profile once you are logged in. sexlessmarriage.support
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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 5, 2017 17:42:20 GMT -5
It's BACK!
You'll need to click forgot password. Or you can re-register. I now have a "community" on there that is supposed to work similar to FB. We'll see! I just upgraded it so I can add more features. Right now you can create topics, comment, etc. You can also send a friend request. I think part of the new software package includes private messaging.
I still need to search around and see what I can find for a hook up page.
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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 2, 2017 4:45:46 GMT -5
The forum is back up!
Now to fix the blog. UGH.
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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 2, 2017 4:32:24 GMT -5
Thank you so much all! I've updated everyone's profiles to have access to the blog, and I still need to figure out why the forum isn't coming up. Unfortunately I am 3 hours from home for the kids competition today and then it's another 3 hour drive home. Hopefully I can get this all figured out today... solodriver - I have an SSL certificate, just need to get it installed. There has to be a youtube video somewhere on that. jpn I hear you! thefullmoon When I figure out the forum, there is a way to set up "groups" much like facebook. I'm not sure if that would solve the issue or not? Or perhaps I can create a forum dedicated just to meeting others. I do want to set up a Fantasyland forum for the sexy stuff - Free to all of you, but charging for newbies Perhaps I can do the same for making physical connections.
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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 1, 2017 12:26:15 GMT -5
And now my forum disappeared. :/
F.
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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 1, 2017 11:43:24 GMT -5
I saw that! Thank you so much!
Love the idea of a way to connect. Maybe we can brainstorm on the best way to get that together!
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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 1, 2017 10:14:12 GMT -5
HI everyone! I am in the process of building a website aimed at helping our sexless community. I knew many of you on EP and you helped me throughout my journey and I am forever thankful for that! In addition to my blog, I want to create a forum similar to this. This membership option is FREE to all of you here! Once the forum starts buzzing I will then charge new members to join. I figure a small fee will keep out the riff-raff, and paid members (including your FREE membership) will have access to member only guest blog posts, Q&A's with professionals i.e. counselors, sexperts, attorney's, webinars, and maybe a monthly conference call where we can all hang out and chat! This is a PASSION of mine! My blog is meant to bring the issue of sexlessness into the public's eye. The forum is meant to allow those of us living (or have lived) in sexless marriage a safe, spam free, ad free environment to vent, commiserate, laugh, AND offer the opportunity for professional information specifically for the forum community. Can you help me? Can you come over and sign up for a free lifetime membership and help build our community? SexlessMarriage.support
I am open to any and all ideas too. I hope you will consider sharing your gift with more people. This isn't an easy forum to find. I referred one of my members here who was looking for someplace to go and I sent him here, because I don't have the forum content to help him. It's such a wonderful and supportive place! I hope to create a similar environment and offer a ton of freebies to our community as well. Thank you for your consideration!
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Post by Venus Erotes on Mar 31, 2017 22:50:59 GMT -5
And I started finding networking events so I could meet people. I have met so many wonderful people and I've been able to share my issues because they are outside of my inner circle. Check out events on facebook. I find tons of free events on there and you can search by geographic location.
(((HUGS)))
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Post by Venus Erotes on Mar 31, 2017 22:48:38 GMT -5
My marriage has been sexless for about a year now. During my 2nd pregnancy, I started suffering from pelvic organ prolapse which caused an embarrassing incontinence problem (TMI but leaking urine during intercourse, throughout the day, when coughing sneezing, etc.) as well as painful intercourse. I talked to my doctor, didn’t get much help (he said the urine leakage would get better after delivery and to use lubrication to help the painful intercourse, not very helpful). We stopped having intercourse entirely because I was embarrassed and he wasn’t really thrilled about the prospect of getting urinated on, and I missed the sex but I just told myself that in a couple of months I would have the baby and we’d go back to normal. Well, the pelvic organ prolapse got worse after delivery. Much worse. Much Much Much worse. The incontinence problem got so bad that leaks and odors were becoming an issue every night and my man expressed disgust/concern that our bed would be destroyed and out of embarrassment I offered to yield my spot in the marriage bed and sleep on the floor in the baby’s room until a solution was found. I had surgery and it improved the problem but only a little. I have tried expensive bladder drugs and they only make my problem WORSE. I limit my fluids to 1 pint per day, which helps but I still have little leaks. I have been to physical therapy and learned techniques which help to some degree, but was told point blank that SOME leaking would probably always happen with intercourse. I was also told that the pain was something I’d have to work through and frequent intercourse will help it. My husband it still grossed out by the issue and wants to wait until I am “better” to resume intercourse and me sleeping in the same bed. My healthcare professionals have pretty much stated that this is as “better” as I’m going to get, and resuming intercourse will help. He says he doesn’t want to hurt me, but I know he is just grossed out and I don’t blame him. I can’t say that if the situation was flipped I’d let him leak urine on me either. The physical therapist didn’t seem to think it was unreasonable to expect one’s partner to agree to intercourse in this situation, but, I guess most of the clients she works with are not in their early 30’s. Anyway. I am lonely. I’m in my early 30’s and sleeping on the floor in the nursery. We have definitely drifted apart in the last year. He goes out at night after our kids go to bed, he says he’s going to the gym. I suspect he has tinder on his phone, because he knows an awful lot about how it works for someone who was married before tinder existed. He may also be paying for sex, i don’t know, but he is always very short on money. Maybe he has a girlfriend on the side. I just don’t know. I have no friends or family where we live, My friends and family live in a different region of the country from me and I rarely see them. I feel like I’m just a repulsive unwelcome presence in his home. I have no one I can really talk to about this. All of my friends are young and healthy and would probably be freaked out if I tried to talk to them about this. I have asked him if he wants a divorce a few times, but he gets very mad and says I better not expect him to pay child support. He also says there’s no way he’s paying for counseling. I sometimes wish I had my own apartment, my own bed, my own space, but that is not realistic financially. Being around him hurts me so much because I just feel like he doesn’t love me anymore. Any other mums get rejected after pregnancy/childbirth due to physical changes? Any thoughts/support would be appreciated. OMG! WHAT AN ASSHOLE! I'm sorry, but he has no reason to treat you that way. You are a strong and beautiful woman - don't forget that! Granted, it's probably time to find another OBGYN. There has to be a way to help fix the issue. Have you considered a hysterectomy? Would that help? A friend of mine is a nurse and mentioned having a pelvic net put in to raise the bladder and that would help me with the unexpected leaking when I sneeze, cough, laugh, or jump on a trampoline (don't ask), even if there is just a little in there, it will come out if I'm surprised. While my physical issue is similar, it's not as severe and I've been able to live with it. I have dealt with the distant husband tho, and the rejection. For 18 years, and given my sex drive, it's astounding to believe I lived in a sexless marriage that long. Like I said - you're a strong, beautiful woman. Take yourself out to dinner and drinks, or find some time with your friends. Self Care is extremely important and you need to love yourself before you can truly move forward. As for your husband, he sounds like a selfish prick. Sorry to say....
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Post by Venus Erotes on Mar 20, 2017 12:45:56 GMT -5
AH! Thank you both!
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