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Post by nancyb on Dec 6, 2016 5:26:57 GMT -5
JohnDoe: So sorry for the tragic loss of your brother. A grief like that never goes away. Regarding your wife choosing to holiday at that time...Unfortunate to say the least.
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Post by nancyb on Dec 5, 2016 21:15:22 GMT -5
The financial question... What are we willing to sell our sex life for? I sold mine for financial security. Sold it so that I could have one person to be with-- emotional security? Sold it to avoid the unknown of being alone. Sold it so I would have a devil I knew. Sold it so I could prove that I could stay married for 25 years. Sold it to never have to feel the fear of finding another partner. I guess I'm a lost soul as well because I sold it all to buy the 28 year marriage.
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Post by nancyb on Dec 5, 2016 20:46:01 GMT -5
CagedTIger: I have only been on the board for a short time however I have read a bit of your history. Why would you even think of further entangling your life with your STBX? Give your big head a shake.
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Post by nancyb on Dec 5, 2016 20:34:32 GMT -5
You women are so courageous. I took one look at Tinder...saw all these men and realized I am no where near ready to date. Thinking and daydreaming about it but not ready to put myself 'out there'...wherever there is to be found.
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Post by nancyb on Dec 5, 2016 20:25:59 GMT -5
Smartkat:I agree with misssunnybunny. You should be so proud to be going out and dating. I haven't ....got a fucking clue actually. LOL
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Post by nancyb on Dec 5, 2016 17:12:58 GMT -5
I regret nothing. Not one bit of it because it all needed to happen to bring me to the place I am in today. More confident, navigating an amicable divorce, flourishing in a new job, thinking about buying a new condo. Lots of positive new things....hmmm actually a part of me mourns for the loss of 'happily ever after'...so I regret ever believing in fairy tales at all.
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Post by nancyb on Dec 5, 2016 6:04:30 GMT -5
Well, the first snow of the season is upon us. Won't stay long as there isn't any frost in the ground. ..YET...Drive careful those in inclement weather.
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Post by nancyb on Dec 5, 2016 5:57:12 GMT -5
If we are going with alcohol, you have to have sloe gin at Christmas. There is nothing else quite like it. Christmas means breakfast mimosa's and good eggnog. To go along with the cookies.
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Post by nancyb on Dec 4, 2016 9:32:53 GMT -5
I have channelled some of my sexual energy into the kitchen and consequently love to bake. What is your favourite cookie or baked good at this time of year? For me it the classic rolled sugar cookie cut into shaped and dusted with coloured sugar sprinkles. Baked to a light golden brown.
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Post by nancyb on Dec 3, 2016 16:33:36 GMT -5
RexCorvus: So well written. Thank you for sharing...
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Post by nancyb on Dec 2, 2016 20:57:43 GMT -5
My friends have all made me promise that once I'm free, I'll sign up for Tinder and live blog my first month on there. They should all chip in and get you a plane ticket. Hell, I'll chip in.... LOL
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Post by nancyb on Dec 2, 2016 16:13:26 GMT -5
"It is really tough to accept a simple truth: your spouse has zero interest in fucking you, and the reason does not matter. It was tough for me, too. Quite devastating, in fact. But once I came to fully accept that, and that the reason was just idle academic curiosity in the interests in science, THEN I was able to leave." Beachguy...thank you for that perfect, succinct response. New thread anyone?
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Post by nancyb on Dec 2, 2016 16:08:06 GMT -5
I have nothing of value to add here. It was over 14 years ago and I can hardly remember that far back. Dismal.
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Post by nancyb on Dec 1, 2016 16:14:15 GMT -5
Thank you, bballgirl. It seems to be the common opinion that I need a deadline/timetable, which makes sense. I think I've just been hoping that it will improve for so long, and I'll wake up one day and be 50 after hoping for 25+ years. My feelings are definitely shifting for him. I still think he's great as a person, but it's REALLY hard to imagine being sexual with him at this point. Again, it's more like a friendship. Not much flirting (again, beyond anything that feels friendly - it doesn't do anything for me), sexting, and of course, no sexuality on a married level. I've definitely been very angry, depressed, and over it. It comes and goes. He certainly knows how important this is for me. His solution is that he doesn't know how to fix this, but he wants to be with me and will never leave. He says the feelings are there, but things are so weird that it's hard to act on them. He said he feels my vibe of being shut down as well. It's like, I want to have a sexual relationship, yet can't picture it with him although I do love him. I suppose I should set that deadline and then do everything I can to give it one last try. Do not wait until you are 50 after hoping for 25+ years. I'm sorry to be so blunt but you have a friendship not an intimate marriage. Get out now with your youth a bright future ahead of you.
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Post by nancyb on Nov 30, 2016 16:50:29 GMT -5
If the cause is "physical" it can be a "reason" - if the cause is "You're tired" it's an excuse. If the cause is "I don't love you anymore" - it's the truth. Well said.
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