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Post by nancyb on Aug 6, 2018 10:51:30 GMT -5
Greetings friends. Glad to come in, even if its through the back door.
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Post by nancyb on May 1, 2018 8:09:37 GMT -5
Thanks so much Baza.
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Post by nancyb on Apr 30, 2018 7:24:11 GMT -5
LOL Just reading some past posts. Josef and I party ways at Valentine's day. He had started to share with me some of his core beliefs including the ability to discern meaning in the Book of Revelations and something else about aliens. I am not ashamed to admit I ran to the door...that's too out there for me. I"ve been living life happily as a single women. I have a large circle of friends now that I'm out of my marriage and living in the city again. Work's satisfying and I've recently take up watercolour. I have to say its really great to be independent and able to look after myself. It gives me freedom. I am dating a little but nothing serious. I am really fussy and frankly most times I would rather be painting! I am thankful to no longer being in a sexless marriage. It's taken me 2 years to get my mojo back.
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Post by nancyb on Apr 21, 2018 17:54:00 GMT -5
One more thing. The problem of "not having a bloke" is a helluva *better* problem to have than the problem of "being in an ILIASM shithole".
Amen to that Brother Baza.
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Post by nancyb on Mar 11, 2018 19:29:17 GMT -5
I have noticed quite often in your posts that you mention your spouse's ex with a level of pettiness that frankly surprises me in someone as erudite as yourself. Just my observation over the last months. Take it for what it's worth.
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Post by nancyb on Mar 11, 2018 8:20:11 GMT -5
I enjoyed the article. Thanks for posting.
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Post by nancyb on Feb 27, 2018 7:15:07 GMT -5
I had an amicable split. At first the fur flew but after that initial blast of fury we settled into getting down to the business of disbanding our home. I kept my pension etc and he kept his. There is no support, we split the equity in the home 50/50 although he has chosen to continue living there. We lived together as roommates for almost 8 months post separation because I was unable to find a place. It wasn't hard for me as our marriage was a roommate deal anyways by that point. We continue on now as dear old friends. He's encouraging of my life post separation and I am if his. We had 29 years together. I am not willing to throw out all the good with the bad. Life rolls on. Oh and BTW for those that don't know my back story. My husband was the refuser for 14 years and was the one who asked for the divorce.
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Post by nancyb on Feb 26, 2018 18:13:52 GMT -5
"I've looked at love from both sides now From give and take and still somehow It's love's illusions I recall I really don't know love at all" Joni Mitchell and my sentiments exactly!
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Post by nancyb on Feb 26, 2018 18:05:10 GMT -5
Ted : Sorry you are feeling unsettled. If you are coparenting with your former spouse she will never be out of your life. Sounds like its time to make some peace within yourself. Exiting isn't for the faint of heart, you've got that right, but, speaking for myself its been one hell of a growth spurt since. I am no longer the woman who tolerated a sexless marriage eating herself into numbness. Ive had plenty of sex since the separation ( 2 years in June) and am presently without a partner. I'm not too worried because POF will always be there if I want it and besides I'm channelling some of my energy into may newest passion watercolour. LOL
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Post by nancyb on Feb 11, 2018 22:37:19 GMT -5
I've discovered I have a passion and unbeknownst talent for watercolours. Somehow this creativity is connected with my sexuality. I feel horny and creative at the same time. I was painting alone in my house the other night and listening to music and I found myself dancing. I'm rooting semi regularly with a really nice man. I know it seems incredible but I might just be happy. Almost 2 years out of my SM folks. I'm alive. Question for the forum: Does anybody else feel this connection between your libido and creativity?
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Post by nancyb on Feb 7, 2018 9:05:49 GMT -5
Fear will keep you in limbo. Denying the truth with only amplify then potential for you to 'wake up' in 15 years and realize you've wasted your time, energies, and love in someone who is fundamentally incapable of loving you the way you deserve to be loved.
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Post by nancyb on Feb 5, 2018 21:08:43 GMT -5
When I am uncertain what to do in a situation I just slow things down. There is no hurry for me to have a discussion about exclusivity until Josef and I are intimate again or the timing is right. I have not made any promises to him yet. As I've rediscovered myself in the 18 months since my SM came to an end, and upon reflection, I wasn't able to be faithful in my 1st marriage. Its a miracle I didn't fuck around in my second SM marriage. Truth be told I was so far in denial about the importance of my sexuality and intimacy I convinced myself all was well in my second marriage except the sex. I gained a lot of weight using food as a replacement at that time. Now I'm much thinner. LMAO Seriously I don't know if I can be monogamous. I aspire towards it, or have in the past. Perhaps I am simply not made for monogamy or maybe if I met the right man I would wish for it. At the present time I don't mind sharing if that's the case for Josef too. Just thinking out loud tonight.
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Post by nancyb on Feb 4, 2018 10:15:09 GMT -5
We taked yesterday about wanting to have fun together but liking our own space. I like living alone for now and want a dating relationship where we have good sex and fun. I see this as a healthy stage coming out of the SM. I had my year of 'fucking for sport' and now Im ready to settle down NancyB style which may or may not include monogamy.
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Post by nancyb on Feb 4, 2018 9:21:25 GMT -5
I'm a safe sex advocate thanks.
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Post by nancyb on Feb 4, 2018 8:53:50 GMT -5
I was a little fearful about sharing information re: my sexless marriage but it came out okay and Josef was empathetic. He doesn't understand the why but neither do I really. I have left that for my former spouse and refuser to figure out on his own. Turns out Josef is a very health conscious guy and sees sex as a form of exercise. We shared a laugh about an erection that apparently sometimes doesn't show up and I introduced him to my old faithful dildo. Question for the forum: I have a younger lover. Its a pure physical thing but its been going on for a while and I feel quite tender towards him. I was thinking about telling Josef about him when we have the discussion about exclusivity. When should this occur? I haven't seen young man since I started being intimate with Josef.
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