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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 31, 2021 8:06:04 GMT -5
Does anybody else plug this forum elsewhere on the web? I do, on occasion... I used to plug this forum back when I was still in the marriage and when I just got out. But I don't frequent other SM forums any more as I have found them to be generally useless.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 30, 2021 10:35:44 GMT -5
According to a study coming out of the Univ. of Zurich female dragon flies often fake their own deaths to avoid mating with an undesired male. Could it be our SO's have dragon fly genes in the mix somewhere?
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 30, 2021 8:23:29 GMT -5
How it works in my county in N.C.
It's hasn't been easy to figure out just exactly who is currently eligible for a vaccination and how one goes about getting it. After a morning going from one state/county information site to another I think I have what I need. I downloaded a patient information form that must be turned in when one receives the 1st dose. The notification of the next vax location is posted on one of the sites. Vaccine sites are moved each week to different locations with a 7 day notification each week of where to go next. It is 1st come 1st served until the supply is exhausted or the time available to receive it passes(roughly 6hrs.). Notification of when and where to receive the 2nd shot will be emailed to those who get the 1st shot. It's not how I would have gone about doing this. I am going to try to be at the vax site next week with my information sheet.
BREAKING NEWS; Just learned my county is not vaccinating people my age yet. At least the terrorists at Gitmo aren't in front of me anymore.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 29, 2021 10:42:25 GMT -5
Now I understand why it can take years to solve some murders
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 26, 2021 19:28:09 GMT -5
I can't see where you are "worse off" than you were a year ago I think perhaps, having lived a SM for 21 years now, that the hopelessness of our situation simply stems from the fact our refusers don't love us anymore. Could it just be as simple as that? Actually I believe it could in some cases. My X never said she loved my after the 1st year of marriage. And after refusing became her general response to my attempts at intimacy and eventually me asking to open the marriage after 5yrs. she preferred a divorce to that arrangement.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 26, 2021 19:20:27 GMT -5
The kid down the street that my grandsons play with a lot is in quarantine. This is probably the 30th or 40th time a class of students and their teacher at this school has been subject to time off due to possible exposure. If my grandsons were attending I would likely not be able to care for them.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 26, 2021 19:10:59 GMT -5
Also, M women can get sex anywhere? Iām not divorced yet, that is news to me. š Perhaps you haven't been paying attention. It's a very general statement that may need a couple caveats, like height/weight proportional, a decent personality, a sense of humor and the ability to engage in interesting conversation. And foremost is the willingness to go outside the marriage. And remember we are talking about sex, not the early rounds of working out a marriage agreement.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 23, 2021 22:43:48 GMT -5
To me that is the definition of an insurrection. It's much, much more serious than the violent protests in Portland and that's why the Capitol protests got more coverage. I can agree with much of what you say. However what took place in the capital was certainly no insurrection. Just as in Portland, Seattle and Denver it was a group of criminals invading and wrecking a government building and scaring the crap out of duly elected legislators doing their jobs. The loss of life is truly regrettable. Hopefully there will be severe consequences for those involved. I hear the term insurrection used pretty loosely toward the events that day. It seems clear that politics is playing out when factually speaking what took place was breaking and entering and vandalism on a large scale. Mob mentality for sure, but not an insurrection. And I think if you ask the people who had their businesses destroyed and their lives threatened by Antifa they probably feel it's just as bad if not worse. I don't have words to address the loss of life since my knowledge of what actually took place is severely limited. And I would love to see and hear the rhetoric and tribe mentality turned down.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 23, 2021 15:26:34 GMT -5
Protests at the USA Capitol=protests by idiots. Perhaps Antifa people, even if they have Trump flags..
I think the term "antifa" has been distorted and polemicized in the US, just like 'liberal' and 'socialist'.
Antifa stands for anti-fascism. If there were any anti fascism people around Washington, they would oppose Trump. They would oppose white supremacist and racist groups. They would certainly not foment civil unrest, or storm government buildings bearing arms. They are no more a political movement than atheists are a religion.
Probably most Americans are not on a first name basis with either Antifa or Q Anon. So they would not be aware of these groups' goals or agendas. You are incorrect in your statement that Antifa would not ferment civil unrest or storm government buildings. There were riots again in Portland and Seattle on inauguration day. The local Democratic headquarters was vandalized in Portland. Interviews by a CNN reporter of participants in the riots gave an explanation for the continuing violence by this group. On and off rioting by Antifa has been occurring since August of 2019. It seems they hold the Democratic party in the same contempt as Republicans. Their view is that Democrats are just as guilty of white privilege and share the same history of racism and bigotry. At least that's what they said according to the CNN reporter. Only by expunging this "whiteness" and bigotry can a new political reality come forth. Violence seems to be the method of choice to bring this about from the perspective of those interviewed. You may not see them as a apolitical movement. They do. I would encourage you to broaden your reading on current events in the US if you choose to comment on said events or groups. Give the liberal press a break and spend some time on some respected conservative news sites. Often you will find events reported on these sites you will not see if you rely on the MSM here or perhaps in your country. As the MSM here is wed to liberal causes reporting on events that portray progressives or liberals in a bad light is discouraged.. Often they simply ignore news that isn't supportive of the Democrats' agenda.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 23, 2021 14:52:04 GMT -5
This is not ANTIFA! ANTIFA such as they even exist is relaxing today because dems flipped the Senate. Please note. I am a Democrat who wears suits and panty hose. I am not ANTIFA nor is anyone I know. We are not anarchists. We don't walk around with guns. We are about law sand order and civil protests and phone calls to get out the vote. Today is on Trump cult members. he incited them, they worship his ass and now people are dead. Including an AF vet who supported him and got caught in the melee. You might want to do some reading as to what occurred in Portland, Seattle, and Denver among other cities on Biden's inauguration day. Riots continue in both west coast cities. I don't like to use CNN as a reference but following the riots a CNN reporter interviewed several participants. They readily profess to be members of Antifa. Vandalizing the building housing the local Democratic headquarters was done to express their hatred of Democrats' for being part of the continued white privilege and raciest political system. At least that's what they said according to the CNN reporter. It's often the case here and in other public discussion of fringe groups that engage in violence that democrats' and liberals fail to acknowledge the groups within their "big tent" that espouse and participate in violent activity. The MSM is just as guilty since it isn't in their interest to report these events, so often they choose not to. Broaden your knowledge by going to a few respected conservative news sites, such as The Wall Street Journal, Conservative American, The Guardian, Town Hall. Reading other viewpoints and getting a broader perspective is really in your best interest. That way when you choose to comment it might be tempered by knowledge of current events and seen as less zealotry in it's content.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 23, 2021 14:16:57 GMT -5
Prefacing: you, like anyone, are entitled to preferences. I'm not discussing that here. Regarding anal sex, there are two main factors - that define the experience: a partner's desire and ability to receive it (much like vaginal sex, one's mental state toward it can affect the body's ability to receive it), a partner's skill in delivering it, including the use of lubricant in the appropriate amounts. Your personal experience with it, one time with one person, was not an objective reading that applies to all of it. Many men and women do not find it to be painful at all. How do you know it wasn't her requesting that experience? I've had more than one girlfriend or prospective girlfriend explain to me plainly that they enjoyed and wanted anal sex and that it was an important part of their sex lives. Many people enjoy pain within a safe or controlled context in their sex lives (whether anal or through some other method), as a way of feeling "not in control" for a while - they want to feel "not in charge" or "taken" by someone else. Many people need this or some other form of intensity, in fact, as the only way they can get out of their heads enough to experience pleasure. Hello Apocrypha, Well, oddly enough, my one and only attempt at it was with my H. when we first got together. We had only been seeing each other for about a month (so sex levels were still pretty high!) but I had to have a medical procedure (for the removal of dodgy cells on the cervix that *may* one day turn cancerous if they're not got rid of...) which meant NO PiV sex for 4 weeks whilst healing. 4 weeks, when you're just getting together sexually, is a bloody long time! So I tried a different route. It didn't work :-( If I was ever going to like it, I would have thought that during the highly-sexed beginning of a relationship would be the time I'd enjoy it and 'get used' to it? Your comment about the lack of sex possibly as a 'downstream result' of my disgust at his porn choice.... well the first time he ever knew I felt that way was when I emailed him the copy of my first post on here about 2 months ago. The first cessation of our sex life was 20 years ago, and the 2nd 6 years ago. (which does show a huge absence of communication over the years, I'll admit!) I'm nearly 54 and certainly didn't live as a nun before I married ; left home at 18, married at 27. I had plenty of partners and experience before meeting my H. (2 long term 'living with' relationships, several 'dating' relationships, and even a few one-night-stands. But *none* of those partners ever asked for anal, and it never occurred to me that anal could be a 'normal thing'. Handy : your comment about 'gut bacteria' struck a chord with me. Sticking a penis into a possible pile of poo never seemed very sexy to me.... ? I totally agree with apocrypha that anal sex is an activity that many couples enjoy, this from personal experience. I have been fortunate enough to have had quite a few partners, and all but one, enjoyed the anal sex they had with me. The one exception was my 1st W and i attribute that to my (our)inexperience. Neither of us had tried it before so we did just about everything wrong. In the decades following my 1st divorce i gained a lot of experience and knowledge. Physical pleasure from anal I believe revolves around two or three criteria I think. !) Both partners must want to engage in the act. 2) The female must be thoroughly aroused, usually through other sexual activity, PIV or oral. Inserting lubrication into the anus with fingers should be part of the preparation/arousal process The penis should also be coated with some type of lube. 3) The male partner must be patient in the early stages of penetration until he's fully accepted into her anus and even then he should proceed slowly as he withdraws and reenters her until she is well loosened up. Slow and censual is the rule until the female indicates she would like it faster or rougher. Many women can and do experience orgasm from anal penetration. My 2nd W was this way. In my 20's I knew one woman that preferred anal over other forms of sex. So there are psychological and physical factors in bringing about a pleasurable experience for both partners. And as to fecal matter ruining the experience I never found it to be an issue. Usually fecal matter isn't present in the anus portion of the bowels in much quantity. If it is a concern then all that's necessary is for the woman to have an enema an hour or so prior. That will clean up the portion penetrated by a penis. Of coarse the male partner will still need to wash off his penis afterward to remove any bacteria that might still be present.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 21, 2021 9:05:01 GMT -5
Reading these reminders of what people are capable of doing holds no surprises for me. One need only remember the soviet gulags, the Chinese re-education camps to name just a couple. Here in the U.S. there are numerous examples of seemingly normal people doing despicable things daily. One that comes to mind is the Judge Rotenberg Educational center that was recently ordered to stop EST on its mentally and emotionally handicapped residents, a practice that had been in place for 49 years, in spite of being condemned by the UN and other organizations as torture. Now we are seeing the calls coming forth from members of the liberal establishment and the MSM in the U.S. to ostracize and punish conservatives and those who voted for or supported Trump. Some liberal members of the government are calling for re-education centers for conservatives to deprogram them from their dangerous beliefs regarding what constitutes freedom or speech or thought. Some liberal MSM are asking that conservative media be de-platformed so that only progressive ideas can be allowed. Is it really surprising that guns and ammo is being purchased like there is no tomorrow? We will see if Biden can keep the members of his party who foster these ideas under his control or if troops will increasingly become a fixture in the democrats political platform and to what extent "boots on the ground" will become an acceptable means of governing.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 19, 2021 6:22:19 GMT -5
I did not say anything to my husband... thefullmoon , I think you will get there and then you will tell him if appropriate, in your own way. Maybe even just telling him a simple "I will be getting sex somewhere and its not my intention to hurt you, but I can't go without intimacy for the rest of my life". I don't think anyone who is withholding sex with a partner who is willing and has tried her/his best can really be surprised to find that we stepped out to get our needs fulfilled. <3 They may not be surprised but they may not be willing to go along with your plan. I had several talks with my now X about opening up our marriage. She was adamant that she didn't want that so she began being sexual again. This lasted for about 3 months and then she began refusing again. This was probably the 4th or 5th reset by her, and it was the last. W I took off my ring and shortly later she did the same and we began discussing separation and divorce. She preferred divorce to an open marriage.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 18, 2021 8:10:44 GMT -5
I never had an "aha" moment. I was drug "kicking and screaming" to the conclusion that my now X simply did not want intimacy from me anymore. Menopause and not seeing me as an alpha male any longer killed our love life. Her constant refusing followed by a reset and a return to refusing again finally exasperated me to the point that I knew I was done trying. I took off my ring and started distancing myself from her. She followed suit and we talked out the steps toward a separation and divorce. That was 6 yrs ago. Happily since then I have done a bunch of dating and had several partners who enjoyed sex. I hope to return to those happy days when the pandemic eventually ends.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 16, 2021 8:15:39 GMT -5
welcome to the group currie94. Sorry you find yourself here. It's been said already but I'll reinforce what's already been said. The problem isn't you. All of us here have been or are currently where you are right now. We had (have) partners who aren't interested in intimacy with us. If you have done much reading here you have already found that many if not most of us are physically attractive enough that we draw attention from those around us who are interested in intimacy, just not from our partners. Re-establishing sex within a SM is a rare bird. There are only a handful of cases here where it has happened so the odds are against you. You are committed to the marriage for the long haul, or at least until the kids are ready to leave the nest. This leaves you with basically the 3 options already expressed above. Stay, leave, stay and outsource. You know what the staying option is like. You are living it now. The leaving is probably the toughest option, especially with young children in the mix. A # of the ladies here, jerri, baseball girl, surfergirl to name a few, have been successful in working out an open marriage agreement with their H's.(option 3) Perhaps something along those lines might be something you could consider discussing with your H if you think he might be receptive to that. Lastly what kind of porn does he prefer? Anything along the kink line? If that's the case, perhaps you might prick his interest with something like roleplaying or a 3 some if that's what he prefers, provided you are willing to engage in those activities.
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