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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 29, 2024 11:19:16 GMT -5
I have heard that some Women do masturbate to relax before bed. They seem to lose the connection between masturbation and sexual desire. I get this but the reason I'm stunned is because for months she's been saying she never masterbates. Leaning into this I've asked if she would be open to me helping her "relax" and she was actually open to this. So it seems like a mental game to meet the same end result? this reads like a clever ruse to disguise foreplay on your part. Unless of coarse you have no intenion of eventually easing your member into the honeypot at some point....
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 29, 2024 11:14:49 GMT -5
this morning I learned that a spoonful of honey has enough nutriants and enzimes to sustain a human for a day. I use a lot of honey in baking and making ginger tea....Thank you honeybees...
Also one should not use a metal spoon when measuring or dispensing honey. The metal neutralizes the benefical enzimes in the honey...Use a wooden or plastic spoon...
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 27, 2024 7:46:39 GMT -5
While we still live in the same house I hold on to a tiny amount of hope that she may want more but I'm not expecting anything to change. My thoughts are at some point she may indeed want more. But the more you are hoping for will not be the more she wants. When the seperation and divorce comes she may want more that 1/2 of evertything accumulated during the marriage. She may want a whopping settlement or perhaps substancial alimony and support for the indefinite future (think in terms of the rest of your life). That small hope you are clinging to may well keep you in the marriage when you both would be better served being apart. Unfortunaqtely, hope is often the enemy in a SM.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 25, 2024 6:23:12 GMT -5
I've never done much reading or thinking about fetishes. Other than viewing them as legal addictions. I did briefly do some reading on latex fetish when early on I looked at joining one dating site. But there were so many questions about which latex fantasy I preferred I dropped the idea. so fetishes are alien to me. Be that as it may the result is the same as any other drug or porn obsession to a marriage. One can and often does end up in a SM. Not sure how much the members here are going to be able to help. My thoughts are that no matter how much you care about your partner you must decide if this addiction is one you can live with for the rest of your life. Because if your H does not see this as a problem and does not wish to prioritize the marriage as opposed to the fetish, then it likely will only get worse and more consuming for him.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 24, 2024 7:24:13 GMT -5
m76,...Sometimes we have to be dragged, kicking and screaming to the acknowledgement that it is time to set a new coarse for our lives. That was the case for me in me ending my SM. Yes, leaving the marriage will be a challenge for the both of you. But staying presents challenges as well. And staying incures the added element of a frustrating and unhappy existance for you. And who would choose existing when you could take the chance of living. good luck and keep us in the loop.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 24, 2024 7:08:07 GMT -5
Welcome to the forum Val.....Yours is an interesting turn on the usual story. More often than not sex disappears when one or both partners gain a lot of weight. You are in counselling and it seems to be helping you. I expect your lack of success in couples conselling has been costly for the relationship. Right now you are in the staying camp. I suggest you read in the topic specific to that decision. Hopefully you will find some information and coping mechanisms that make staying easier. Or if after a while you decide staying is not doable for you you will find the other categories usefull in planning and managing your exit. Keep us informed as all stories have something to add to the forum. good luck...
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 23, 2024 6:28:50 GMT -5
Given that virtually all of the women and men have been refused in SMs. I don't understand why anyone here wouldn't think it's important for their partner to find them attractive. Most of us had problems in our marriages because our partners didn't act like they considered us sexy or attractive when it came to physical looks. If my partner only thought my personality was attractive, I'd be worried that he might like me as a friend or roommate but not as a lover. BTDT. I don't want to be in that situation again. I find nothing wrong with physical attractiveness being high on the list for what men and women look for in partners. If a man doesn't find me physically appealing, I don't want him to waste both of our time by dating me. Absolutely!! I am head over heals for a woman who finds me attractive. I have gone soo long not having this I'm afraid that the first one that comes along I'll be rushing things. I have to pull that in and try different flavors first. 😏 This is some good advise to self. When my SM ended I hit the dating scene like a man in the desert walking up on an oasis. I fell in lust with every woman who showed interest in me. Needless to say that approach didn't take me where I wanted to go. I won't say that slow and steady wins the race, but at least you won't be like the roadrunner cartoon where the cayote runs headlong into a cactus or side of a mountain. Plan how you will be working your approach to re-engaging with the ladies, and then work your plan.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 22, 2024 9:10:12 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 21, 2024 18:40:37 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 21, 2024 18:33:09 GMT -5
xenolithic
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 21, 2024 10:23:26 GMT -5
The original purpose of this conversation relates to the fact that the daft information normalising the primary value of women is to look good before other qualities deserves to be questioned. At times being here feels like stepping into an episode of Mad Men. I have never watched Mad Men so I don't get the reference, never the less I'll go on. Sorry to be the one who has to tell you this. With the possible exception of Afganistan or outer Mongolia, women all over the world are mostly assessed firstly on the way they look. A woman does not need to be a movie star re:looks, but if she makes little effort to make herself attractive to others, both male and female, then she is most likely going to find herself a wallflower in the grand scheme of things. I am often attracted to a woman who would basically be considered average. But if she presents herself as approachable, and she has put on her face and her apparal accents her best features, then I am likely to find her attractive. I expect this holds true for most males.And it is generally acknowledged that in judging women on their appearance, the perception is that women are the most critical of each other. And as long as I am mansplanning this, I will probably push one more of your buttons. Mirrororchid could probably say this far more eloquently than me, but concerning a womans breasts. I am unashamedly on the record as a breast man. Woman often note that during a conversation with a man, the man's eyes will frequently wonder down to their breasts. Many men, including this man, it seems are hard wired to be captivated by a woman's mammories. It is in our nature, unless he plays for the other team. So as a man I can understand another man being distracted viewing the cleavage presented to him by a woman in a bikini. And be honest, some part of you, maybe way down deep, wants the attention wearing a bikini is likely to foster. Just not from this man. I will also go on record about chocolate. Cadberry and couple other British offerings are pretty good, but if I want to enjoy the best chocolate experience in the western world, I will be reaching for a Snickers bar. It blows British chocloteers out of the water.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 20, 2024 16:00:42 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 18, 2024 12:01:54 GMT -5
threats of self harm against someone is manipulation and emotional abuse. Perhaps you need to arrange a 72 hour legally enforce suicide custodial watch. any chance that 72hr. watch could go for 72 days just to be sure ?
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 18, 2024 8:12:25 GMT -5
welcome back ariso58,...Your situation reads like a pretty tuff row to hoe, but you sound like a pretty resiliant woman, and I think you have what it takes to make it through this. Having a spouse with medical conditions makes everything more difficult. The OCD and diabetes can both be managed with medication, if he is willing to take the meds. I doubt anyone faults you for finding another outlet for your intimacy needs. A fair % of membes here end up doing that. Unfortunately the 1st male to come into your life may not have worked out. Don't sweat it, there are a million men out theere that would make good partners for you. In an earlier post you said another soccer mom was helping with transpot for your kids. I hope she can continue to help. For kids sports is a huge thing, especially if the home life isn't what it should be. I'm 76, trust me, mid 30's is not old for a woman. Most women hit their prime about this time. I would encourage you to continue working on an exit plan. Figure out a way to squirrel away some of your money on a regular basis. Shore up your support network with your friends and family where ever possible. good luck...
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 17, 2024 9:17:18 GMT -5
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