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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 11, 2024 6:12:13 GMT -5
Long term medican issues are the hardest hurdle to deal with in a SM. The illness generally isn't the fualt of the sick partner, it is something incidious that affects the marriage and sometimes treatment doesn't improve the medical concition, and can even make a SM worse. It's understandable the partner who is ill can suffer a lose of desire from comlications of the illness. The problen then becomes what can be done to keep the marriage viable from an intimacy standpoint. I am in general agreement with toughtiger. Coming to an agreement with the misses about having a "friend" for you seems a reasonable approach. Taking a "don't ask, don't tell" policy with consideration for the person experiencing the illness, can make life easier for both parties. Couples who genuinely care about each other should want to go all out to insure as much intimacy in the mariage as possible. If your spouse is unable to provide you with any sexual acts then that partner should be open to allowing a 3rd party to provide the missing sexual component. As long as care is taken to insure the infirm spouse is not deprived of what intimacy their condition permits. Talk to mrs.music about this approach and see if she is willing to go along. Hopefully she can see the potential "good side" in the arrangement.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 8, 2024 16:30:23 GMT -5
I went to the link and note there are several things to recommend the snach block. One was that the block could help you get a better angle for your pull. This sounds like it would be good to use if one still practiced the withdrawal method to prevent pregnancy.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 8, 2024 12:09:06 GMT -5
This reminds me of a cat I used to have. I would wake up in the middle of the night because the cat was crouching on my chest, french kissing me. Just for the record, the cat was a female.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 8, 2024 12:06:55 GMT -5
My doctor has prescribed a new medication for me. This morning I started checking on pricing. My online pharmacy, through my advantage plan is usually far more reasonable on pricing. But initially it may not be for this medication. The online pharmave showed to be 5 times the cost as compared to 3 local pharmacies. It pays to comparison shop everything.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 7, 2024 18:30:22 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 6, 2024 18:39:28 GMT -5
I think there's a general view that most women prefer the man to take charge, not in everything. I'm thinking more in terms of planning a date night. All of us have had the conversation with our wife's like this, M: what do you want for dinner? W: anything. M: How about Chinese? W: nah, I don't feel like Chinese. M: ok how about Italian? W: no not Italian. M: what do you want? W: i don't know. I feel like in these cases it's easier just to say, grab your stuff honey we're going to to Joe's kitchen. When I experienced this sort of wishie washie behavior from a woman on a restaurant selection I went with plan B. That is to head to restaurant that featured a buffet. So they could choose, chicken, beef, fish, all sorts of veggies and numerous deserts. If they can't find something on the buffet lines, then they can go hungry.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 6, 2024 9:28:48 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 6, 2024 9:10:50 GMT -5
My W apologized to me today and made some excuse as to why she had an attitude yesterday and took it out on me. Whatever. I see potential here. Her introspection (regardless of quality) is an essential skill; maybe the door is open for a discussion. Having the ability and willingness to be self-critical tells me that improvement may be possible if she’s willing to have frank discussions with you. Or maybe I’m just projecting because mine would never take accountability so no progress was possible. DC It reads to me like she is only being polite. She acknowledges her bad behavior on this instance, but come tomorrow or the next dsy that behavior will mainfest again. This says to me the behavior is so ingraned in her personality that it is unlikely to change. even if counseled by a 3rd party. I don't see her making the mental shift required to foster respect toward aquacat. Maybe I am too jaded at this point, but after seeing this sort of behavior on the part of refusing wives for so many years here, I don't see much to be optimistic about when it comes to progress.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 5, 2024 18:50:09 GMT -5
The way I look at it if I can't perform on my next lay, I will lick my way through it😝.I'm a giver Have you read the posts on TriMix , it's a steep curve? You could be watching snails race but 15 minutes after the injection you will be standing tall.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 5, 2024 7:06:07 GMT -5
I sincerely appreciate your comments and the general challenge by others. The fact is that (drumroll...) I finally left. But my story is not yet at a point that I'm ready to share the details here.
The theme of my own thinking / reaction / comments here is that it's not an easy decision financially, and the impact of financial sacrifices extends way, way beyond the bank account. Like, being in a position to retire at 52 but now having to work another decade (because she's actually taking 20 years of savings). That is a gut-wrenching achievement to have ripped from your grasp, and enough to give anyone serious pause.
DC
This sounds really positive for you DryCreek. I know the financial hit is a kick in the gut but later when you have time to process it, I think you will be glad you bit the bullet now. I experienced the same thing decades ago,when my 1st W decided to go. But I lost 1/2 of everything and then had a whopping child support payment every month. So it could always be worse. Best of luck going forward....
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 4, 2024 17:11:33 GMT -5
umm.... won't you run into the same problem/ Demographics? No one "pro" lives anywhere near you. I am not looking for an escort in her 70's. The oldest escort I have seen is someone in their mid40's. She would suit me just fine. And her pricing is about 1/2 that of the 25-35 aged ladies Actually there are 2 mid size towns about 30 miles from me. Both seem to have a fair # of escorts. So I think I can get my oil changed without having to go too far. It's been a while so I need to review the current pricing and availability for the various ladies. Funny isn't it, that escorts seem to be available, but no women in my age demographic are to be found. Perhaps baseballgirl had it right when she said "good p*ssy ain't cheap".
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 4, 2024 10:14:20 GMT -5
I spent a good portion of the weekend viewing photos of women at POF. Total waste of my time. I must have viewed a thousand pictures of women. Turns out only one or 2 were in my age demographic and none lived within 40 miles of me. For me at least, dating sites aren't likely to be my solution in my search for a partner. Between POF and OurTime I guess I have viewed 2-3000 women. Less than 10 in my age demographic lived anywhere near me. Sooooo.....
I am back to considering finding a good and reasonable "pro" to take care of me. Once again I am going to start looking through the escorts sites. My 1st question to myself is just how young should be my stopping point? Most of the ladies are between 25 and 35 .Once pricing has been evaluated where should I attune my thoughts? Any advice about my choosing approach anyone?
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 4, 2024 9:37:35 GMT -5
If you look hard enouh there is almost always a bright side to everything... Attachments:
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 4, 2024 6:14:00 GMT -5
Why are you selling your happiness and emotional health for 30 pieces of silver? Likewise, if I give my wife 10 years of savings, then that is 10 years longer that I must work to have the same quality of retirement. I may not be so attached to the bank balance, but I’m very attached to having my retirement years. DC DC---you are a pretty savy money guy, but I think you have this wrong. Sounds like your plan is to stay and not be seperated from your treasure because of retirement concerns. So you endure years, perhaps additional decades of misery and when you retire what do you have. The refusing hateful W is still there making you miserable. If you seperate/divorce then you will probably be seperated from an even larger piece of wealth. My thoughts are it is best to take the hit early in the asset accumulaton process, rather than later.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 1, 2024 14:01:43 GMT -5
I won't lie, I'm tempted but won't for a few reasons. 1) my dad cheated on my mother and I know the effect it had on my mom. They however were sexually active so I don't know what the motivations were there. 2) I don't want to keep things secret. 3) The pool of women that would be willing to be the "other woman" for a 47 year old, short dad bod guy is very limited. Your mom and your W are of different generations. And as you say, your parents were not in a SM, so I don't see the comparison as being valid. No need to keep things secret. If you have the "talk" in which a FWB is on the table for you , it might be possible to bring the "don't ask, don't tell " option into play for the both of you. Just a thought. And as far as the pool of woman available for you. At 47 I should think it would ba a fairly large one. Get that dad bod into fighting condition, so if the opportunity comes round, you wil be ready.
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