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Post by becca on Aug 2, 2017 19:32:17 GMT -5
But farcebook I reckon I could write on my 'what's on your mind' box - "you can all go and get fucked" - and there'd be people who would still automatically apply a *like* to it. Oh please, can you try this experiment and let us know how man "likes" it gets? I think it would be funny as hell.
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Post by becca on Aug 1, 2017 15:59:42 GMT -5
I can tell you this: Until I stopped asking why my refuser acted the way she did and started asking why I was accepting it, things never changed. Brilliantly said!
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Post by becca on Aug 1, 2017 10:28:48 GMT -5
The best time to divorce for the kids?
Well, I am in this upside down situation where my children are actually angry with me because we haven't divorced. Obviously I overshot that perfect window.
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Post by becca on Jul 31, 2017 10:00:07 GMT -5
JMX Thanks for sharing this with all of us. It has to feel like one more piece of the puzzle has been found. It may not change the outcome at all but it gives you just another bit of insight into the dysfunction. I do agree with unmatched, that distance helps you see things more clearly. At least it did for me. But this is your journey. And you have to do what you feel is best for you and for your children. Stay strong, my friend.
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Post by becca on Jul 30, 2017 16:09:26 GMT -5
Well, when I first started this thread I had no idea I'd still be writing on page 21 of it. The original idea was that I hadn't seen anyone really go step by step through their exit. So I guess my question to all of you is this: Has this thread served its purpose? Would continuing just be "excessive celebration"? Or should I continue to write here, chronicling my struggles and triumphs (hopefully more triumphs)? I personally enjoy the updates and it seems to me the book hasn't come to an end but you have simply embarked on a new chapter. We usually collect bits and pieces of someone's story sectioned out over months of posting on various threads. Someone will mention something in one thread about a part of their story they wrote in another thread a month or so back or in response to someone else's post. It is nice and convenient to come here and see what shamwow is up to and how his journey is coming along. Maybe we should all create our own thread!
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Post by becca on Jul 30, 2017 15:47:50 GMT -5
I didn't want to leave my picture out there for the world to see, either. Like you @elle, I work with the public. So I compromised and took a picture and added enough filters to make it difficult to confirm my identity should someone stumble on to this site.
It was this or @iwoetin 's fake mustache idea!
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Post by becca on Jul 29, 2017 15:32:24 GMT -5
I LOVE putting faces to the voices. I will play for a day or two. So nice to see everyone! Yay! Hi again Becca Looking fine girlfriend xxxxx Hey Gorgeous! Really good to see you again too. Big hugs.
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Post by becca on Jul 29, 2017 15:28:09 GMT -5
I LOVE putting faces to the voices. I will play for a day or two. So nice to see everyone! Hi Becca,
Thanks for sharing, very beautiful and wonderful smile!
Awhh...thanks, solodriver.
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Post by becca on Jul 28, 2017 19:09:08 GMT -5
I am just seeing this now and felt a sigh of relief when I got to the post that you had left the relationship. A little jealousy can be "cute" but she was off the chart and when you said she was jealous of your children that made my own blood boil.
I know there is an emptiness now but that wound will heal and I agree with Baza that this is a good time to take account of the last few years. Maybe you will gain some fresh insight so you don't find yourself in this situation again.
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Post by becca on Jul 28, 2017 18:33:21 GMT -5
I LOVE putting faces to the voices. I will play for a day or two. So nice to see everyone!
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Post by becca on Jul 23, 2017 22:11:57 GMT -5
I got a message today from a man with poor grammar which screams not a U.S. citizen wants a wife for citizenship and yes some people are that desperate. I actually know someone who is "engaged" to a man here on a student visa from, I think, China. He is paying her $3000 a month and he flies her up to where he is once a month, puts her up in a hotel and pays the expenses for the trip and they just get together to study one another's life details. Not sure what the final payout will be but she has been doing this for the last 6 months or so. She tried to recruit my daughter for another US citizen wannabe. Ummm, no.
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Post by becca on Jul 14, 2017 21:03:09 GMT -5
Excellent response, bballgirl. You were honest and direct and told him how you roll. You are a woman who knows what you want and also what you don't want. Passive no more! I love it.
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Post by becca on Jul 13, 2017 13:29:35 GMT -5
EO, Don't judge yourself so harshly. You were in pure survival mode. Our bodies response to physical pain when it becomes too much is to black out. I think we do that to some extent with emotional pain as well. We still look like functioning people but we are zombies just going through the motions. I know I did this in my own marriage the last few years and I know I let my children down. But I agree with baza that children are resilient. And that wasn't the end of your story. They get to see your strength and your decisiveness. They get to see you stand up and acknowledge that you deserve better and they deserve better. That will be the legacy. You are wide awake now and "reconnecting with them" and you can all heal together. Thank you for sharing this here.
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Post by becca on Jul 13, 2017 10:41:43 GMT -5
Thank you for sharing your struggle with us. As I move closer and closer to moving to the next level (divorce) it helps to read your story. In my marriage, it is my husband that struggles with alcohol and it kills me seeing him sinking deeper and deeper into this pit. He does not acknowledge a problem though. He refuses to go to a meeting or seek counseling of any kind. So hats off to you for not only acknowledging the problem but doing something about it. And for recognizing you were in a precarious place and reaching out to GeekGoddess. It speaks volumes about this online community.
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Post by becca on Jul 12, 2017 22:20:03 GMT -5
How exciting! An iliasm romance brews.
This is so much better than meeting up with some "chick" you swiped on Tinder. You both know just how much it means to get "back in the saddle".
My wish for you both is to be fully present and just let the weekend unfold naturally and enjoy!
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