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Post by solodriver on Mar 31, 2017 0:33:04 GMT -5
Yes, thinking about in another universe, I wouldn't have married my ex wife and then I wouldn't have met my current wife and married her. I guess I would have been a loner.
But I know that a lot of fun experiences came from getting married and divorced to my ex so I may have missed those opportunities also. But I'd like to think that other fun experiences would have taken their place.
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Pride!
Mar 29, 2017 14:26:25 GMT -5
Post by solodriver on Mar 29, 2017 14:26:25 GMT -5
Rhapsodee That is amazing! Oh my gosh I love this so much, keep 'em coming!! These are such wonderful things to be proud of, hard work, children, even the little every day things Thank you so much. And thank you for starting this thread. It's the best therapy. And good for giving us ideas of possibilities!
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Post by solodriver on Mar 28, 2017 21:48:53 GMT -5
I didn't know they stacked shit that high! Ah, an educated man! I heard a very similar monologue on my first day of Air Force Basic Training in 1978 from my Senior Training Instructor!! That's why I could laugh about it when Full Metal Jacket came out.
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Post by solodriver on Mar 28, 2017 21:39:50 GMT -5
How tall are you, Private? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! Sir I'm not from Texas sir!!!!
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Post by solodriver on Mar 28, 2017 21:38:14 GMT -5
Yep, exactly like Gunny Sgt Hartman said :"You're the lowest form of life on the earth." How tall are you, Private? Sir 5' 3" sir!
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Post by solodriver on Mar 28, 2017 21:35:18 GMT -5
I had the same excuse from my wife: "I can't because the dog can hear and see us and I don't want to close him out of the room!" When I suggested we go somewhere else away from home without the dog, the answer because, "I don't trust ANYONE to take care of the dog properly."
End of sex life.
I am sorry, but this made me laugh out loud. I was imagining your W taking the dog to a canine psychologist and saying, "Doctor, my dog is severely traumatized! My husband forced me to have sex with the dog in the room! And worst of all, he did me PEOPLE STYLE!" ROTFL, very good Flashjohn!
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Post by solodriver on Mar 28, 2017 13:24:13 GMT -5
I had the same excuse from my wife: "I can't because the dog can hear and see us and I don't want to close him out of the room!" When I suggested we go somewhere else away from home without the dog, the answer because, "I don't trust ANYONE to take care of the dog properly."
End of sex life.
At least she spelled out exactly where you stand in the social hierarchy. Yep, exactly like Gunny Sgt Hartman said :"You're the lowest form of life on the earth."
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Post by solodriver on Mar 28, 2017 3:31:59 GMT -5
Just an observation, but I can't recall ever hearing "But...I am a DAD" as a reason not to fuck your wife. Granted, there are many reasons here, but I don't recall hearing that particular one. The closest thing to "I am a DAD," might be my ex - who couldn't be sexual if one of our pets was in the room; and would do anything for one of them before he would do me. And I felt like I couldn't say a word - since it was my idea for us to have pets in the first place. I'm an animal lover, so how could I possibly be upset at what a devoted "parent" he turned out to be? I had the same excuse from my wife: "I can't because the dog can hear and see us and I don't want to close him out of the room!" When I suggested we go somewhere else away from home without the dog, the answer because, "I don't trust ANYONE to take care of the dog properly."
End of sex life.
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Post by solodriver on Mar 28, 2017 3:27:12 GMT -5
Martyrdom is very ugly. WindSister is right. The mommy-splaining in that article is very insulting to the women here on ILIASM who happen to have children. I hate the way society seems to encourage and expect women, as soon as they push out a brat, to become prissy, frigid, placenta-brained Stepford wives. I don't understand why there's this idea that fun (including sexual fun) has to end when you become a parent. Or in my wife's case, when she becomes "old"
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Post by solodriver on Mar 26, 2017 1:01:37 GMT -5
This was from one of the commenters in that article. Sound familiar to anyone?
"Sometimes it's great, the love him and I share...and then other times we are fighting and at odds with one another so much that we can't even be nice to each other anymore. And then we pull away. We've been together for about a year and a half and although we are engaged we have broken it off twice. Scary part is that he feels that we are doomed to be fighting with one another for the rest of our lives. I'm the one seen as asking for too much,because I want to be touched or held, even called too needy, and then ungreatful when I try and tell him what I like in the bedroom. He won't do it and says I ruin it for him and I should be great full he gives what he does. He is intimidated by a woman that knows what she wants? And to top it off he calls me crazy. Yet I come back to him and show him so much love and compassion because I believe that's what love does. It loves the unlovable. He shows me he loves me with his actions but his words rip me to pieces. When we fight it's because he's been extremely hurtful towards me and said things I would never dream to say to another person. He thinks women are too much work and he could go back to not needing one. I feel he takes love for granted and wonder how a stint of his being without me would change his heart to learn to embrace with live rather than to push it away. I love him with all my heart and wish he was as tender hearted as I am and a person that is peaceful in how they communicate rather than to stir up strife and cause pain. He was single for 6 years and says he didnt really think about a relationship or even marriage in terms of what he wanted in another person. When we first got together he brought me flowers for my birthday at work without my knowing it was something I always wanted someone to do, and when he proposed it was all perfect. Yet he says he doesn't feel the same towards me anymore. However in other areas he had to mature and it's been a tug of war. He's had to get perspective from other men into how to be more sensitive if a woman's feelings. My dad says he has a bad attitude towards women in general and he has alot to still learn in how to even be with one. I'm trying to figure out how much more of our all I can take and if it would be better for him if I just walked away. Seems like I'm too much of a problem to him. Yet im on pins and needles after we fight and I go to work worried he is going to end things with me. We were apart for 6 months as he lived in another town and I had to go about 2 hours drive to go see him once a week...am thinking that also played into all this because he moved shortly after he proposed. We also live in 2 separate houses as we can't afford to get a place together yet..but I wonder if living together would make things easier or harder. As it seems living apart has put a huge strain on our relationship. I dont even know how to be with him anymore as I feel rejected like I can't come to him and as if his feelings are fickle. Maybe I'm wrong here I just don't know. I'm such a fighter that I hold on and fight for love and it seems that it's good for a little while and then we hit another road block where we have to learn how to compromise, communicate and be a couple all over again. Even though it feels like we come back stronger, I'm concerned I'm taking him down a journey that honestly is to much as I'm the first real committed relationship he's had that is this strong."
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Post by solodriver on Mar 24, 2017 14:42:08 GMT -5
"Frankly, I think the wonderful ladies here are the normal ones..." AMEN FLASHJOHN!!!!!!!!!
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Post by solodriver on Mar 19, 2017 22:04:16 GMT -5
I am the youngest of 3 and I had to fend for myself. My refuser is the oldest of 3. How many refusers are the oldest? I think the elder child would more likely be a refuser. Both my husband and I are eldest. I think it can go both ways. My refuser is an only child. She admits that she is spoiled and doesn't like to share things and has always had things her way. Sorta wish I knew those things before I married her. I knew she was an only child, just not the rest of her feelings.
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Post by solodriver on Mar 16, 2017 18:25:54 GMT -5
I'm glad I don't have Facebook!
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Post by solodriver on Mar 15, 2017 22:02:33 GMT -5
My partner sleeps as close to me as possible, gives me lots of kisses, lots of attention, follows me everywhere. May partner is also loyal, excited to see me and is dedicated to me always. My partner is not the one I am married to…. The partner I speak of is my little dog. For the last 15 years there has been no sex at all. None. Before we got to this point, there had been signs, many signs leading up to this. Sex has always been gross, a dirty little deed that is required to bare children and we only had one child. To kiss with an open mouth is gross. Oral sex is gross. The only position she would ever consider was missionary, and even then she would ask if I thought it was going to rain that day in middle of trying to do something. I always felt so bad after we did do something because I knew that she didn't want to. I felt so guilty, that I apologized repeatedly to her. I felt like I had raped her, though she was my wife. Sex has always been a horrible struggle from the very beginning. I finally had enough, and stopped asking for sex, that's when the sex stopped all together. Before marriage, she said she was saving it until after marriage. She is still saving it, I guess now until after the funeral. I have come to accept it and I know it will never change. I gave up trying to change it long ago. If I had any advice to give to the young people out there.... I would say beware of anyone who says that they want to wait until after marriage to have sex... It's a trap! I love my cats. The way they reach a paw up and tap me on the arm to get my attention always makes me smile. How can you resist such a request? I have one cat that sits next to me on the couch and puts his paws on my arm and purrs. I have another that pats my head when I'm sleeping. Makes me smile!
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Post by solodriver on Mar 15, 2017 0:52:17 GMT -5
I had to deal with bullies a lot in my younger years both in high school and in my early years in the military and Rhapsodee you're absolutely right.
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