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Post by unmatched on Jul 2, 2016 1:48:47 GMT -5
We have slept separately for most of the last 3 years except when in a 'trying to make it work' phase. We are on holiday at the moment and have been sharing a bed most of the time. It makes me realise how much more relaxed it is being on your own than trying to sleep with this Arctic gulf down the middle of the bed.
I suspect that same feeling could be extrapolated to our life in general. Being single could be a whole lot more relaxed than marriage with a constant gulf in between us.
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Post by baza on Jul 2, 2016 1:59:59 GMT -5
There's a lot in what you say Brother unmatched.
I believe that when you get out of an ILIASM shithole, a major part of ones stress level is gone.
But it is also true that new stresses (as a result of getting out) will come in to your life.
A lot like dumping a major stressor, and picking up a number of minor and managable stressors.
A nett gain equation.
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Personally, when I got out, the relief was enormous.
The new stressors (moving up country, living on the smell of an oily rag for 6 months, getting a job, finding somewhere to live etc) were not a real lot of fun but they were nothing like the stresses constant in the ILIASM environment.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2016 3:44:28 GMT -5
We have slept separately for most of the last 3 years except when in a 'trying to make it work' phase. We are on holiday at the moment and have been sharing a bed most of the time. It makes me realise how much more relaxed it is being on your own than trying to sleep with this Arctic gulf down the middle of the bed. I suspect that same feeling could be extrapolated to our life in general. Being single could be a whole lot more relaxed than marriage with a constant gulf in between us. That's exactly how I've come to feel. All the way around. I prefer being on my own now. What does that say about the gulf between us? Ever-widening in my case. |
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Post by tamara68 on Jul 2, 2016 4:22:51 GMT -5
We still sleep in the same bed, we don't have a spare bedroom and the couch is not big and comfortable enough.
I go to bed early because I have to get up early.
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Post by Rhapsodee on Jul 2, 2016 12:33:27 GMT -5
We share a bed. It's a king. He will come into the bedroom as I'm getting ready for bed and give me a chaste kiss goodnight and leave the room. He says he can't fall asleep unless I'm already asleep. He comes to bed sometime after 1:00 am. He's had this habit ever since I banned the television from the bedroom. I've gotten up to get a drink or something and he's either asleep on the couch or watching something on his phone. I enjoy the time to myself.
Mornings, he plays with his phone and I get up to tend to the pets. We also share a bed in hotels. It's normal for us.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2016 21:02:49 GMT -5
Rhapsodee, good on you for kicking the TV out if the bedroom!!
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Post by DryCreek on Jul 3, 2016 0:05:24 GMT -5
Next go around, I'm holding the line at a double-sized bed. Even a queen-sized allows way too much room between us. It's telling when a bed is well used on either side, and the middle is like new.
I aspire to break a bed one day. Or have the neighbors call the cops because my partner is being too loud.
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Post by Pinkberry on Jul 3, 2016 0:18:55 GMT -5
When we were still together, I continued to sleep in the same bed with my refuser, but usually there was a large pillow between us. I got a body pillow because I needed something to snuggle with and he wouldn't touch me. I never felt so lonely as I did when I was in our bed with him.
In fact, I wrote a story about my love-hate relationship with my bed on the old ILIASM. I'll have to see if I can dig it out.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jul 3, 2016 4:59:06 GMT -5
Next go around, I'm holding the line at a double-sized bed. Even a queen-sized allows way too much room between us. It's telling when a bed is well used on either side, and the middle is like new. I aspire to break a bed one day. Or have the neighbors call the cops because my partner is being too loud. We broke 2 in the early days!! Sadly our current bed is totally sagged on his side with a distinct improvement down the middle to brand new mattress appearance! Lazy shite. |
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Post by lwoetin on Jul 3, 2016 5:29:58 GMT -5
Next go around, I'm holding the line at a double-sized bed. Even a queen-sized allows way too much room between us. It's telling when a bed is well used on either side, and the middle is like new. I aspire to break a bed one day. Or have the neighbors call the cops because my partner is being too loud. We broke 2 in the early days!! Sadly our current bed is totally sagged on his side with a distinct improvement down the middle to brand new mattress appearance! Lazy shite. Like DC, i haven't broken any beds. Unfortunately. How do you even break 2? Do you use it like a trampoline? I love the t-shirt eternal. It is perfect for my daughter. I tell my daughter to be nicer. She replies I am nice. Just don't get me upset. |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jul 3, 2016 6:04:33 GMT -5
We broke 2 in the early days!! Sadly our current bed is totally sagged on his side with a distinct improvement down the middle to brand new mattress appearance! Lazy shite. Like DC, i haven't broken any beds. Unfortunately. How do you even break 2? Do you use it like a trampoline? I love the t-shirt eternal. It is perfect for my daughter. I tell my daughter to be nicer. She replies I am nice. Just don't get me upset. We totalled a single bed on the holiday we met on, then totalled a double when we first moved in together.. It was easy tbf, both being over 6ft! Xxx |
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Post by angryspartan on Jul 3, 2016 7:07:16 GMT -5
Next go around, I'm holding the line at a double-sized bed. Even a queen-sized allows way too much room between us. It's telling when a bed is well used on either side, and the middle is like new. I aspire to break a bed one day. Or have the neighbors call the cops because my partner is being too loud. We broke 2 in the early days!! Sadly our current bed is totally sagged on his side with a distinct improvement down the middle to brand new mattress appearance! Lazy shite. Never broke a bed, but we did manage to scratch the floor up underneath it. Got to worth a few points right? |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 3, 2016 7:14:51 GMT -5
"Breaking the bed" is not something you want to do when you have a waterbed!
Forget the bed! My fondest " memories" occurred in other places, like that hump built into the back seat of my 68' mustang.
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Post by olofat on Jul 3, 2016 10:41:13 GMT -5
We nominally sleep in the same bed. We're snugglers. But often, it's "too hot" or "you were snoring" or "I was afraid I'd wake you," and she ends up in the spare bedroom. This has been increasing in frequency the last year or so. (I'm writing this alone in my king size bed at the moment.)
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Post by iceman on Jul 5, 2016 8:14:12 GMT -5
Next go around, I'm holding the line at a double-sized bed. Even a queen-sized allows way too much room between us. It's telling when a bed is well used on either side, and the middle is like new. I aspire to break a bed one day. Or have the neighbors call the cops because my partner is being too loud. We broke 2 in the early days!! Sadly our current bed is totally sagged on his side with a distinct improvement down the middle to brand new mattress appearance! Lazy shite. Lazy shite indeed!! I realized a long while ago that my wife views my side of the bed as foreign territory. When we did have sex she would never make the effort to come over to my side of the bed. It was always me going over to her mainly because it was always me initiating and she wasn't going to be energetic enough to move. At one point she would be lying flat on her back on her side of the bed reaching over limply to stimulate me, I guess, in her version of foreplay. It felt like she was trying to find keys she dropped in the dark on the floor of the car. |
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