Sleeping together?

I sleep with my wife probably not much different than any other married couples. On rare occasion if she's particularly miffed with me, she'll go sleep in one of the kids rooms or something. But that's a very rare occurrence these days.

I think we both like our bed and the bedroom. I don't think either of us feel particularly compelled to make a statement by sleeping somewhere else.

There was a time back in the dark days (maybe dork days) when I was just figuring out my marital situation when she'd try to kick me out of the bed to go sleep somewhere else. NO DICE. If me being in MY bed was troublesome, I told her she can go sleep somewhere else. But I also told her not to be a freaky perv and start sleeping with the kids. They didn't need that.

Big Time.  What's with not spending time together during the prime times when most busy folk actually CAN spend time together.  

Even in the crappy state of my marriage, we've always gone to bed and gotten up at roughly the same time.  And at least 50% of our conversations occur at bed time, or when we get up.  

ALSO, the go to bed at 2 am get up at 9 am, Vampire thing is NOT healthy.  When I see it, I always wonder if these folks ever matured past 18 years old or something.

BTW:  BBallGirl, I go to bed between 9 and 10.  Will you marry me?

Exactly, I've had the conversation with my wife about the benefits of going to bed together. With kids and work, we only have that time truly alon to talk about anything. Apparently she doesn't agree. I get pissed off when she sleeps so late that it affects what we do as a family with the kids on the weekends. She used to make more of effort but now it's become an established pattern. The few times she does come to bed while I'm awake she makes sure she dresses in most God-awful flannel pj's even in summer. That I wouldn't mind if she was amenable to shedding them or even just the bottoms but no luck. She also immediately sets the tone that there will me nothing remotely sexual going on by getting into bed with her back to me. No kiss goodnight, no verbal goodnight, nothing. I'm confronted with this flannel encased wall that's impenetrable. I've often thought of starting to whack off, or put on some porn, or more fun - both, just to see what her reaction would be, or if she would react at all. 

I don't sleep in the same bed with my husband and haven't in years. It began because he snores terribly. Now, I have no desire to be near him at all. In fact, we had to sleep in the same bed last summer when we did an overnight stay in a hotel. It was so uncomfortable. If the room had a tub, I would have slept there!

*Raises hand* I don't know, in some ways I've matured past 18. Since I don't have kids I feel like I haven't been forced to be mature quite as much. I just naturally have a later schedule. I have been fortunate to have had a flexible schedule ever since college. First grad school where exact hours of coming and going didn't matter, just total hours and that the work got done. And the same at both jobs so far. I fear my next job may not be as flexible, but I'm hoping to get one with a later start time, 8 am is brutal for this girl, I prefer 10.

Also, I sleep like crap. I often wake up in the night unable to sleep and have tp read for an hour or so to get sleepy again. I toss and turn constantly. For these reasons and the preference to have a flexible bedtime I prefer to sleep alone most of the time.

Of course if I was likely to reap sexy benefits from sleeping together and not just the downsides, I may reconsider my opposition to trying to adopt responsible sleeping schedules and work around my issues. And also, sex makes me sleepy so that might help. Even if I mostly slept alone if course I could get in bed until he was asleep and satisfied then creep away. And some mornings (ie weekends) I wouldn't mind him joining me in bed and waking me in a sexy fashion (priorities! sleep uber alles EXCEPT sex uber sleep!).

Edited to add: also, I used to sleep without clothes or undies only before I realized it was pointless. That could be a side benefit for some man compromising on my vanpirish ways. Now to find that man...

My H has worked nights for the vast majority of our relationship, so we sleep at the same time of day maybe 40-50% of the time. Of that percentage, probably 60% of it is spent sleeping in the same bed. Because he's used to staying up all night, he frequently stays up later than I do and then ends up falling asleep on the couch.

bballgirl. I would do the same. Try and wake him up to come to bed for some action. Didn't work. His bed is now the couch. (And has been for so many years!!). Let the couch have him!