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Post by Casiyessie on Jun 21, 2016 17:58:10 GMT -5
I work with over 60+guys and I am terrible at reading someone's interest. If someone is flirting I take it as being really nice. You really have to cross a line for me to get it lol. I think if you put an ad out on clist to see what happens you might be surprised or also on here. Although I don't see a personals section on here. Lol A personals section - that is what we need! 'Hot frustrated man - good times guaranteed'. Maybe I could sell my old lawnmower at the same time. Or Admin could come up with an 'interested and available' flag you can put on your profile. Well if you describe it that way sign me! A personals section would be fun to have on here. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2016 18:02:03 GMT -5
EP
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2016 18:02:23 GMT -5
I think this whole site is a personal's section. I'm guessing you could post an ad in any of these forums:
Frankly, it's a testament to the civil nature of this group that the seal on that bottle hasn't been broken yet.
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Post by baza on Jun 21, 2016 18:53:39 GMT -5
Sister Fiery put up a chart on a thread a couple of weeks ago.
It was a pictorial representation of assorted paths to finding someone who might be compatible, and assorted paths that are dead ends.
It is well worth a look.
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It starts off with a pool of men from which 3 paths branch off.
#1 - is "age inappropriate men" - that's a dead end and there is no point going down that one.
#2 - is "married men" - and that's a dead end and there is no point following that path.
#3 - is "single men" - and that branches off into 3 potential new paths as well ---
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#3a - is "men who have never married" (and that then splits out in to further paths)
#3b - is "divorced men" (and that also branches out in to further paths)
#3c - is "widowed men" - (and that branches out into further parts too)
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Lets just look at #3a and those paths as an example
#3a - is "men who have never married" and the branches from that are -
#3ai - is "not married by choice"
#3aii - is "not married due to others choice"
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I'd urge people to have a look at Fierys chart. It is most interesting indeed.
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Anyway, "how" one might start the pursuit of a new person are many and varied. Internet, going out to target rich environments etc etc all have their potential.
But Fierys chart makes the point most eloquently that there are waaaay more dead ends than you might think.
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Post by obobfla on Jun 21, 2016 19:23:28 GMT -5
I have tried a few sites, putting up ads. Surprisingly, I get a lot of response from women who say they were in their 20s. They send me pics of themselves in swimsuits and say they want an older guy to teach them. Then the words "sugar" and "daddy" come up.
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 21, 2016 19:42:18 GMT -5
A personals section - that is what we need! 'Hot frustrated man - good times guaranteed'. Maybe I could sell my old lawnmower at the same time. Or Admin could come up with an 'interested and available' flag you can put on your profile. If we add a personals section, perhaps it should require creative euphemisms. So unmatched can offer "high-touch groundskeeping services... attention to detail from top to bottom, meticulous grooming, and excellent curb appeal. Satisfaction guaranteed." |
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 21, 2016 19:46:27 GMT -5
I have tried a few sites, putting up ads. Surprisingly, I get a lot of response from women who say they were in their 20s. They send me pics of themselves in swimsuits and say they want an older guy to teach them. Then the words "sugar" and "daddy" come up. A friend in his late 50's went the route of a young Russian bride for his 3rd wife. Of course, anyone with eyesight knew how it was going to play out, but he enjoyed it all the way up to the point she became a naturalized citizen and divorced him. That's one way to play the game. |
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Post by obobfla on Jun 21, 2016 19:55:02 GMT -5
I have tried a few sites, putting up ads. Surprisingly, I get a lot of response from women who say they were in their 20s. They send me pics of themselves in swimsuits and say they want an older guy to teach them. Then the words "sugar" and "daddy" come up. A friend in his late 50's went the route of a young Russian bride for his 3rd wife. Of course, anyone with eyesight knew how it was going to play out, but he enjoyed it all the way up to the point she became a naturalized citizen and divorced him. That's one way to play the game. Maybe, but Backpage would be cheaper for essentially the same thing. |
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Post by baza on Jun 21, 2016 20:06:39 GMT -5
Geez DC, Just about everytime I start my computer up I get unsolicited ads from young chicks (ie under 50 !!!!!) who are mad keen on meeting me. Indeed oftentimes they are resident very close to me too !!
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"Natasha (only 2k from you) wants to chat with you" usually with a pic of some smouldering hotty.
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And all this, without lifting a finger !!
I can only speculate on how well I'd go if I was actually looking !!!!
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The only flaw evident to me is that given my locality, Natasha (only 2k from me), must be resident in the lake, and as such be some kind of freshwater mermaid !
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unkakris
Junior Member
Trying to Figure This Out
Posts: 86 
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by unkakris on Jun 21, 2016 22:57:40 GMT -5
To quote an interesting friend "if you are INTERESTED, you are INTERESTING"
Just. Listen. To. Her.
Don't be thinking about when next you can reply, actually hear her words, think ,THEN reply.
Share a short story (time yourself in front of a mirror) one minute or less.
Don't mope. Be clean. Brush your teeth.
And don't chat with someone with a loaded agenda/schedule/timeline in your pocket. Leave that offensive weapon at home!
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Post by iceman on Jun 22, 2016 8:47:32 GMT -5
I have tried a few sites, putting up ads. Surprisingly, I get a lot of response from women who say they were in their 20s. They send me pics of themselves in swimsuits and say they want an older guy to teach them. Then the words "sugar" and "daddy" come up. A friend in his late 50's went the route of a young Russian bride for his 3rd wife. Of course, anyone with eyesight knew how it was going to play out, but he enjoyed it all the way up to the point she became a naturalized citizen and divorced him. That's one way to play the game. I had a co-worker that went that route repeatedly, just not with Russian women. He was okay with it. He called it his five year plan. He have a very attractive and, I assume, accommodating wife for 5 years. When she got her citizenship and dumped him he just got another one. I couldn't do it but it seemed to work for him. |
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Post by iceman on Jun 22, 2016 8:50:41 GMT -5
I work with over 60+guys and I am terrible at reading someone's interest. If someone is flirting I take it as being really nice. You really have to cross a line for me to get it lol. I think if you put an ad out on clist to see what happens you might be surprised or also on here. Although I don't see a personals section on here. Lol That's my problem. I can't differentiate being nice from flirting. |
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Post by iceman on Jun 22, 2016 9:03:23 GMT -5
You know, these outsourcing threads really bother me because I'm not planning to do it. That said, I don't want to judge those who do because I have not walked a mile in their shoes and I totally get that there are cases where it might be a legitimate choice. So, though it's not my thing, I'll reserve judgment. BUT, and this is a big 'but' (IMHO), if you DO outsource, it is truly over. There is no way, no how, you could ever get a refuser to un-refuse once you've outsourced. At least I can't fathom that ever happening. I believe that once you have outsourced, there is no turning back. The marriage can never function at an optimal level. So, I guess I would say, just be aware of that. Outsourcing is a throwing down of the proverbial gauntlet. It's a major blow to trust that most likely will never be recovered. Exercise caution if you have even a shred of hope left that the marriage will work. I guess that's where I'm coming from here. Apparently, I still have a shred of hope that H will come around to my LOVE super powers. H will see the light. H will be the H I want/need him to be. Sigh. I don't actively think of myself as an optimist - I have too much anxiety about life in general (that's anxiety with a small 'a'), but when I write these things, I can see I am a hopeless case. Carry on! That's one of the bigger concerns I have about going down the outsourcing path. I'm really concerned that if I did find a partner and things went well I would be unable to continue in the marriage after I feel what I've been missing in a relationship. I fear that it would effectively be the end of my marriage. On the other hand, I don't really have much hope that things will turn around with my marriage but I'm not ready to leave. Outsourcing may provide a diversion that would keep me there at least until my kids are away from home. And on yet the other hand, I really don't like being deceitful and feel that outsourcing may cause more stress than it's worth. I could go on all day back and forth on the pros and cons .... |
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 22, 2016 9:47:31 GMT -5
You know, these outsourcing threads really bother me because I'm not planning to do it. That said, I don't want to judge those who do because I have not walked a mile in their shoes and I totally get that there are cases where it might be a legitimate choice. So, though it's not my thing, I'll reserve judgment. BUT, and this is a big 'but' (IMHO), if you DO outsource, it is truly over. There is no way, no how, you could ever get a refuser to un-refuse once you've outsourced. At least I can't fathom that ever happening. I believe that once you have outsourced, there is no turning back. The marriage can never function at an optimal level. So, I guess I would say, just be aware of that. Outsourcing is a throwing down of the proverbial gauntlet. It's a major blow to trust that most likely will never be recovered. Exercise caution if you have even a shred of hope left that the marriage will work. I guess that's where I'm coming from here. Apparently, I still have a shred of hope that H will come around to my LOVE super powers. H will see the light. H will be the H I want/need him to be. Sigh. I don't actively think of myself as an optimist - I have too much anxiety about life in general (that's anxiety with a small 'a'), but when I write these things, I can see I am a hopeless case. Carry on! That's one of the bigger concerns I have about going down the outsourcing path. I'm really concerned that if I did find a partner and things went well I would be unable to continue in the marriage after I feel what I've been missing in a relationship. I fear that it would effectively be the end of my marriage. On the other hand, I don't really have much hope that things will turn around with my marriage but I'm not ready to leave. Outsourcing may provide a diversion that would keep me there at least until my kids are away from home. And on yet the other hand, I really don't like being deceitful and feel that outsourcing may cause more stress than it's worth. I could go on all day back and forth on the pros and cons .... If you can outsource with a woman that wants to stay in her marriage and just wants some on the side that helps with being able to have an escape yet stay in your marriage. You also need to be able to compartmentalize things and not let certain emotions slip into the affair, the I'm in love with you emotion because that is a dead end usually with married people. Other emotions are good like happiness, excited, fun, pleasure, etc. but not love. I was at a point with my affair and the sex was so good I thought that I needed to stay married so I could have the affair. Then I realized I could still have sex with my lover without being married to a man that mistreated me. Affairs aren't for everyone and can be emotionally tricky. |
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Post by ggold on Jun 22, 2016 20:51:34 GMT -5
You know, these outsourcing threads really bother me because I'm not planning to do it. That said, I don't want to judge those who do because I have not walked a mile in their shoes and I totally get that there are cases where it might be a legitimate choice. So, though it's not my thing, I'll reserve judgment. BUT, and this is a big 'but' (IMHO), if you DO outsource, it is truly over. There is no way, no how, you could ever get a refuser to un-refuse once you've outsourced. At least I can't fathom that ever happening. I believe that once you have outsourced, there is no turning back. The marriage can never function at an optimal level. So, I guess I would say, just be aware of that. Outsourcing is a throwing down of the proverbial gauntlet. It's a major blow to trust that most likely will never be recovered. Exercise caution if you have even a shred of hope left that the marriage will work. I guess that's where I'm coming from here. Apparently, I still have a shred of hope that H will come around to my LOVE super powers. H will see the light. H will be the H I want/need him to be. Sigh. I don't actively think of myself as an optimist - I have too much anxiety about life in general (that's anxiety with a small 'a'), but when I write these things, I can see I am a hopeless case. Carry on! @elle For me, this is true. My affair put me over the edge. My marriage is truly over. Why would I have slept with this guy if I had hope for my marriage? I would never have. There is no turning back for me now. |
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