...The latest try was she told me she wouldn't say no if I initiated and she said she wanted me to control it. About a week later she refused my initiation. She has told me in the past she sees me as not strong sexually because I don't pursue her sexually. Um, yes I do and I have backed off because I got tired of constantly being turned down. ...
See, you aren't the first one I've heard about who's lady has said something to this effect.
"Controlling it" doesn't mean giving her control. You asked, she said "No", you didn't push the matter, that isn't control. That's defeat.
Pursuing her sexually may not mean verbal overtures. It may mean a hungry seizure of some kind.
I say this not from experience. None of my ladies have expressed displeasure in my gentle romantic ravishing, but...every so often my wife will slide her wrists under my hands for a few minutes.
She's a romance novel consumer, and I'm under the impression she has placed me in the role of dominant cad.
I'm not sure how, but she may want you to refuse "No" for an answer, which goes against our natures, but may be cheating her of a love life she'd like to have with you.
Does she want a "safe word" and you'll take some aggressive liberties some night?
How can you know when "No" means "Yes".
Such a conversation may be counterproductive to the notion that you can be an out of control animal.
Is that even anything you're up for giving her if that were true?
Should you discuss her fantasies? Or does she expect you to wing it? It ruins it to have a say in the scenario?
Does she want a blindfold?
She may not want to have to ask.
Is it all just too much bullshit and you might prefer to cash out?
