m76
Full Member
Posts: 416
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Post by m76 on Sept 3, 2024 9:44:02 GMT -5
New update.
Counciling has been going on for 10 months now.
In that time we've progressed from zero physical touch, to hugging, to kissing, to petting, to manual stimulation and now most recently oral sex (for both)
There's been some ups and downs and I can tell she's not that into it but she does seem to be trying.
Will we ever have PIV sex? I don't know but I don't feel as hopeless as I did a year ago.
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Post by lonelytiger on Sept 4, 2024 15:00:45 GMT -5
New update. Counciling has been going on for 10 months now. In that time we've progressed from zero physical touch, to hugging, to kissing, to petting, to manual stimulation and now most recently oral sex (for both) There's been some ups and downs and I can tell she's not that into it but she does seem to be trying. Will we ever have PIV sex? I don't know but I don't feel as hopeless as I did a year ago. That's a good update!! I hope things progress for you two and you can get back to having a close relationship with your wife. |
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muzack
Junior Member
Posts: 79 
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Post by muzack on Sept 5, 2024 5:15:14 GMT -5
Very good update. Keep up with what's working. Wish I could get my wife over her oral hangups.
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Post by lonelytiger on Sept 9, 2024 9:07:20 GMT -5
Very good update. Keep up with what's working. Wish I could get my wife over her oral hangups. Same here. I asked her the other day about the one time a few weeks ago where she gave me light oral (no in mouth stuff) and she said she really didn't like doing it after telling me the day after doing it that it didn't disgust her and she didn't mind it. I have no choice but to let this go along with the other negative things from our relationship. Nothing good will come from dwelling in the past and on what she won't do during sex. I just have to be content with what she offers which is missionary/starfish and hurry up and get it over with. She says she's turned off by my attitude. |
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 18, 2024 18:20:01 GMT -5
... I just have to be content with what she offers which is missionary/starfish and hurry up and get it over with. She says she's turned off by my attitude. You can be content with what she offers or you can be repulsed by her attitude, the choice is yours. Can she define what about your attitude turns her off? What would she have you change? No pie in the sky bullshit allowed, only real tangible items. |
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Post by lonelytiger on Sept 20, 2024 10:31:56 GMT -5
... I just have to be content with what she offers which is missionary/starfish and hurry up and get it over with. She says she's turned off by my attitude. You can be content with what she offers or you can be repulsed by her attitude, the choice is yours. Can she define what about your attitude turns her off? What would she have you change? No pie in the sky bullshit allowed, only real tangible items. She would say it's my neediness for a close relationship, for romance. I would love it if she would tell me sweet nothings every now and then. She never tells me sweet nothings, never flirts with me, etc. I have to initiate everything and even when I stopped for a period of time she never initiated anything. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 20, 2024 13:25:27 GMT -5
You can be content with what she offers or you can be repulsed by her attitude, the choice is yours. Can she define what about your attitude turns her off? What would she have you change? No pie in the sky bullshit allowed, only real tangible items. She would say it's my neediness for a close relationship, for romance. I would love it if she would tell me sweet nothings every now and then. She never tells me sweet nothings, never flirts with me, etc. I have to initiate everything and even when I stopped for a period of time she never initiated anything. My X often used the term "needy" to describe me when I initiated sex with her. I ignored the comment, but in retrospect she was right. I needed a piece of p*ssy and I needed it badly. And my X never flirted with me either. Sweet nothings were mostly just nothings from her. |
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m76
Full Member
Posts: 416
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Post by m76 on Sept 24, 2024 8:20:55 GMT -5
New problem and it's a mental/emotional issue on my side.
My wife has been willing to do BJ's and cuddles but she's been resistant to let me play with her or give her oral.
Along with this she's become even more open about being asexual and even put an asexual pride flag on her car.
Last couple of intimacy dates I haven't been into it at all, knowing she doesn't really desire me at all, she's just doing it because she thinks it makes me happy.
So now I feel like an ass, after bugging her for years for this intimacy and now I don't really want it, at least not from her.
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Post by lonelytiger on Sept 24, 2024 8:54:13 GMT -5
New problem and it's a mental/emotional issue on my side. My wife has been willing to do BJ's and cuddles but she's been resistant to let me play with her or give her oral. Along with this she's become even more open about being asexual and even put an asexual pride flag on her car. Last couple of intimacy dates I haven't been into it at all, knowing she doesn't really desire me at all, she's just doing it because she thinks it makes me happy. So now I feel like an ass, after bugging her for years for this intimacy and now I don't really want it, at least not from her. This makes sense to me. Every time my wife and I are intimate her body language and facial expressions just show how much she's not into this and how much she would rather be somewhere else. When I mention this to her she gets mad at me saying I can't tell her how she's feeling because I am not her. I'm sorry you're going through this too. I wish my wife would be willing to do BJs but even if she did she would be doing it reluctantly. I can't even get her to try without her visibly gagging at the thought and tearing up if I try even remotely asking her to. |
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Post by deadzone75 on Sept 24, 2024 10:37:45 GMT -5
New problem and it's a mental/emotional issue on my side. and even put an asexual pride flag on her car.I can't even type this without wanting to yell it. There are no "new" problems here. She DOES NOT WANT you. She hasn't, she doesn't, and she never will. She's flaunting it on her fucking car to the world that she doesn't want you. SAVE YOURSELF. Please, for the love of God. Save yourself from this. |
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m76
Full Member
Posts: 416
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Post by m76 on Sept 24, 2024 10:55:18 GMT -5
New problem and it's a mental/emotional issue on my side. and even put an asexual pride flag on her car.I can't even type this without wanting to yell it. There are no "new" problems here. She DOES NOT WANT you. She hasn't, she doesn't, and she never will. She's flaunting it on her fucking car to the world that she doesn't want you. SAVE YOURSELF. Please, for the love of God. Save yourself from this. You're right. And I know it. I was able to delude myself with the progress that we'd made. The fact that she was willing to do some things, at least demonstrated that she cared if I was happy or not. But the pride flag just is the constant visual reminder that she doesn't really want to. |
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Post by deadzone75 on Sept 24, 2024 14:43:10 GMT -5
I can't even type this without wanting to yell it. There are no "new" problems here. She DOES NOT WANT you. She hasn't, she doesn't, and she never will. She's flaunting it on her fucking car to the world that she doesn't want you. SAVE YOURSELF. Please, for the love of God. Save yourself from this. You're right. And I know it. I was able to delude myself with the progress that we'd made. The fact that she was willing to do some things, at least demonstrated that she cared if I was happy or not. But the pride flag just is the constant visual reminder that she doesn't really want to. And not just doesn't want to; she is bragging about it to the world. Do you ever ride on her car? I would flat out refuse. |
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m76
Full Member
Posts: 416
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Post by m76 on Sept 24, 2024 14:46:07 GMT -5
You're right. And I know it. I was able to delude myself with the progress that we'd made. The fact that she was willing to do some things, at least demonstrated that she cared if I was happy or not. But the pride flag just is the constant visual reminder that she doesn't really want to. And not just doesn't want to; she is bragging about it to the world. Do you ever ride on her car? I would flat out refuse. Her car is actually a really nice sports car that gets parked in the garage over the winter... so I did like driving it, but not anymore. It's attention grabbing enough I don't want that flag association. |
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Post by isthisit on Sept 24, 2024 17:05:14 GMT -5
New problem and it's a mental/emotional issue on my side. and even put an asexual pride flag on her car.I can't even type this without wanting to yell it. There are no "new" problems here. She DOES NOT WANT you. She hasn't, she doesn't, and she never will. She's flaunting it on her fucking car to the world that she doesn't want you. SAVE YOURSELF. Please, for the love of God. Save yourself from this. This. With bells on. |
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Post by week5of35years on Sept 25, 2024 4:32:05 GMT -5
And not just doesn't want to; she is bragging about it to the world. Do you ever ride on her car? I would flat out refuse. Her car is actually a really nice sports car that gets parked in the garage over the winter... so I did like driving it, but not anymore. It's attention grabbing enough I don't want that flag association. I think you and us all know where we are here, so its either decision time or put her on a timetable to force a decision (from you rather than her TBH) .. X activity within x weeks then x times a week after that, any deviation and we are done..... you are torturing yourself, and I am finding it very uncomfortable to watch my friend, I re-read your posts and the position is the same now on page 38 as it was on page 1 I don't know what hold she has on you, but I can tell you it is not love.... no frickin way.......... Go find someone new to be with..... Start over, it will be hard but at least you will be with someone who is ok with you being hard and wants to reciprocate!!! |
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