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Post by warmways on Jun 18, 2016 8:05:10 GMT -5
I feel like I'm already over the edge and am gathering the courage to leave. What made me realize nothing would change was the countless number of therapists we saw to no avail and the countless number of therapists I saw who all say my marriage "is in the toilet' or he has deep problems I can't fix and that he just doesn't have it in him to be able to stop avoiding and be intimate. I had two emotional breaks and have suffered enough. I've tried so hard for so long and nothing changes. Im no longer trying and no longer feel much emotion or anger around him so it feels over.
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Post by skguy on Jun 18, 2016 9:27:07 GMT -5
A window of opportunity presented itself back in 2004 or so.
But I had no backbone at the time. I didn't want to rock the boat. I didn't want to be embarrassed or be talked about.
That's always been my problem. Can't make a decision to save my life..literally
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Post by Rhapsodee on Jun 18, 2016 23:27:02 GMT -5
I do know why I stay. I'm safe here. He will never intentionally harm me. I think I chose him because he was safe. At the time, I needed safe. I was able to ignore what was missing because I was living a fairy tale. I think I associated passionate, adventurous sex with the violence of my first marriage. I thought the gentle quiet sex would get better as we went along. I thought i would adapt. How could I know that it would stop altogether?
So, I guess the deal beaker would be if I no longer felt safe with him, if there was a threat to my health and wellbeing.
Living in a sexless marriage is a threat to my health and wellbeing.
But I'm still here......
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2016 5:33:19 GMT -5
Just out of interest Brother phin, these days, I AM a (part time) mailman !!!! - But it is a rural delivery situation in a 4 wheel drive out in the boondocks of rural Australia. Not much chance of finding a chick hoggin' for a root in that environment !! Hah now that's funny. baza and his brood of happy dogs. Ok since you mentioned your geographic milieu, let me ask about something people in sexless marriages have assimilated from you for years, bringing it into their own vocabulary even...the word "rooting." People just love that word. My gf was in Perth many years ago and heard "Rogering" a lot but not "rooting." So it's not an Australian term in general is it? Is it more regional? Where does that wonderful euphemism for copulation come from? |
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Post by baza on Jun 19, 2016 6:12:23 GMT -5
@phinheasgage
It is a common word in my circle and demographic (old farts) but is perhaps not so prevalent in younger generations here.
Like most places, the regional dialects are possibly in play.
For example in Perth (Western Australia) the "Sand Gropers"* there may not use the word much.
*Sand Gropers being another bit of vernacular meaning a resident of Western Australia.
Even in Australia, regional dialects are in play.
Example - the term "floater" means very different things in the state of South Australia to what it means in other parts of the country.
In South Australia, a floater is a meat pie swimming in a pea sauce, and the Crow Eaters (South Australians) love 'em.
In other parts of Australia a floater is a bowel movement that tenaciously refuses to sink and disappear around the S bend.
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Post by unmatched on Jun 19, 2016 9:00:56 GMT -5
I have heard people say 'root' who come from all over Australia and NZ
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2016 10:04:32 GMT -5
@phinheasgage It is a common word in my circle and demographic (old farts) but is perhaps not so prevalent in younger generations here. Like most places, the regional dialects are possibly in play. For example in Perth (Western Australia) the "Sand Gropers"* there may not use the word much. *Sand Gropers being another bit of vernacular meaning a resident of Western Australia. Even in Australia, regional dialects are in play. Example - the term "floater" means very different things in the state of South Australia to what it means in other parts of the country. In South Australia, a floater is a meat pie swimming in a pea sauce, and the Crow Eaters (South Australians) love 'em. In other parts of Australia a floater is a bowel movement that tenaciously refuses to sink and disappear around the S bend. I'm not sure which kind of floater is worse. |
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