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Post by JMX on Jun 7, 2016 16:34:55 GMT -5
You got his card marked this time lady. Keep your game face on at all times. You are inspiring us all. Go go go!!! Xxx You inspire me with your waxing! That is next on my list when I can scrape some money together. |
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Post by unmatched on Jun 7, 2016 17:06:49 GMT -5
I find it ironic that even in the process of leaving, most of the people here still seem to love their partners and care about their well-being a whole more than they have ever been loved back.
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 8, 2016 18:16:53 GMT -5
I find it ironic that even in the process of leaving, most of the people here still seem to love their partners and care about their well-being a whole more than they have ever been loved back. It's because we are kind people who don't want to hurt others. It's that same kindness that enable refusers to get away with breaking the terms of a marriage and they know it. |
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Post by JMX on Jun 8, 2016 23:14:43 GMT -5
Second update: Disclaimer - I am in FULL werewolf mode and looking forward to my period. Sorry for the TMI. I am weakening. He is being nice for DAYS IN A ROW. Our daughter's swim meet tonight - he "checked in" on FB, including me. I was there too, so, of course. But he is oddly into FB now - which is strange. My friends all start messaging me - WTF is he trying to do?  He shows me articles he finds interesting not realizing I know these things because I am "up to speed" on current events but maybe not dragons and fairies. I quickly shut those convos down. He always laughs at shit that is old as shit but whatevs, it is not his thing, I laugh with him because I want to keep him stupid and unaware or because maybe I don't care. It's probably the former. The more nerdy he is the better I feel about my lot in life... No offense to nerds. I only love those of you that like to fuck. You're good. He insisted on getting things for me tonight. Everything. I didn't realize how much I do on my own until he started taking that shit away from me. Wouldn't let me sit in anything but the most comfortable lawn chair, wouldn't let me get my food. Wouldn't let me get my own drink. Wouldn't let me bag the lawn chairs. Wouldn't let me carry anything to the car. Wtf??? Knocked on the patio door to wave and tell me good night an hour ago. Wtf? |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2016 23:32:04 GMT -5
He's messing with your mind. Don't be fooled.
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Post by baza on Jun 8, 2016 23:45:34 GMT -5
He's good this bloke.
Very good.
I wonder how he will create the segue in to the next bit, where he says - "Let's have a talk" and heads off down the "things have been going so well lately, surely it is time for you to abandon this silly divorce stuff"
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Depending on your response to this, you might be about to see a spectacular blow up.
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Whatever happens, keep your cool.
Think through - now - how you might respond.
I reckon you can back it in that a statement from him along the above lines is coming, and probably pretty soon.
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Post by unmatched on Jun 9, 2016 0:55:23 GMT -5
So he is somewhere between this:  and this:  But you have been through this before. How long did it take him to go back to this:  |
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 9, 2016 3:04:41 GMT -5
JMX... My read on his behavior is that he's trying to rewrite history, so he can show / claim he's a good husband/father. Whether he's doing this to sway you or for his own reality is unclear. My observation: he's demonstrating that a) he knows full well what good behavior is, and b) he's capable. An optimist would say his actions show promise; a pessimist would observe that he could have done this all along and consciously chose not to. Experience has taught this audience to be pessimistic and cynical about turnarounds, even though we'd like to believe in them. Buyer beware. DC
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Post by petrushka on Jun 9, 2016 7:18:11 GMT -5
So he's having an 'oh shit' epiphany.
For just how long, do you think, that is going to energize him?
I bet the energizer bunny will last longer.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 10, 2016 3:06:18 GMT -5
So he is somewhere between this: and this: But you have been through this before. How long did it take him to go back to this: This is just PERFECT! |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 10, 2016 3:09:36 GMT -5
What's he been like since that update JMX ? Has his stamina remained or is he sliding back already? It so messes with your mind doesn't it. Makes you doubt what you know to be true. They are so manipulative. Grrrr Xxxxxx |
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Post by cagedadventurer on Jun 10, 2016 7:08:59 GMT -5
My W did this a couple weeks ago. Too nice and patient,helpful- almost suspicious to me. And availed herself to sex. I did not partake though. I was strong and proud of myself...for once? . I know she was confused and that felt good for a change, like I had a peek into a refusers mind. Werewolf mode is a tough one though with him being thoughtful and considerate. But as said above, I resent knowing he had it in him all along, yet cares too little to do it. |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 10, 2016 7:45:16 GMT -5
My W did this a couple weeks ago. Too nice and patient,helpful- almost suspicious to me. And availed herself to sex. I did not partake though. I was strong and proud of myself...for once? . I know she was confused and that felt good for a change, like I had a peek into a refusers mind. Werewolf mode is a tough one though with him being thoughtful and considerate. But as said above, I resent knowing he had it in him all along, yet cares too little to do it. Well done for resisting! It's bloody hard  x |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 10, 2016 9:03:00 GMT -5
As things progress and the tables are turned. I find myself counter reacting like never before. After our little " you touched me, call the police" incident, any form of reconciliation,(especially touch!) will be received with a very defensive attitude. Glad you are seeing right through it! Reminds me of every day when I am asked lately, " how was your day, or what are your plans?" My gut feeling is," you want me to slip up and mention something about divorce, or tell you something about disciplining the kids so you can get involved!" I give her cold nothing answers, like I receive when it's time to talk intimacy, or respect.
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Post by cagedadventurer on Jun 10, 2016 12:27:46 GMT -5
What's he been like since that update JMX ? Has his stamina remained or is he sliding back already? It so messes with your mind doesn't it. Makes you doubt what you know to be true. They are so manipulative. Grrrr Xxxxxx JMX - you know we are excited for your progress and how you have effected change in your H. But his stamina - how long can he be your "man" before slipping back? I know even if you get weak this week, your resolve will return. I don't know the whole back story, is he a gamer? Unemployed? My father was not a bad or abusive man. My parents did not have a SM until later life BUT he would never work steadily though he could. He was very smart but sort of a misfit in the regular world so just avoided it. My mother took jobs to support us where he would not. And he let her. But when she said you have to work or I am gone or power gets shut off, etc. he found a way - it was amazing to see when in a corner, I guy can perform. But he always slipped back to neutral unfortunately. Why they do not perform as a natural instinct is the million dollar question isn't it? Maybe I work extra hard maybe because I saw the mess created when he didn't. In my opinion, an idle man needs to pull himself up by the bootstraps, stand tall and take on his family responsibilities as though his life depended on it. I'd love to hear that as an update but we are behind you no matter what! I hate that he has put so much stress onto you. Side note: Just to keep my kids (game crazy kids) active, I cut the internet many days (I have the wi-fi code) and use my phone as a hot-spot as needed for my own work. Funny to see how they suddenly find better things to do. It made me think; as they get older and don't want move out, I may sabotage the air conditioning, LOL, that'll get 'em outside. |
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