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Post by isthisit on Jul 6, 2020 18:34:25 GMT -5
I agree it is not perfect, but it is a journey. I doubt if any woman here started her blow job history with a full on 30 minute lock jaw event with swallowing. Don’t be so hasty in your assumptions 😉. Let’s face it, it’s not exactly a skill now is it? |
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Post by isthisit on Jul 6, 2020 18:36:37 GMT -5
This could be an amazing new marriage revolution! “ lessingham , honey will you do the dishes?” “Of course! For 60 seconds. But after that, you’re on your own. And you’re not allowed to use the dishwasher, per the new terms of this agreement.” John Gottman: your days are numbered... [Insert smartass American prick emoji 😏🇺🇸] Thank you itme I’ve had a rough day today, but this made me giggle all day. The dishwasher bit cracked me up. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 6, 2020 20:37:31 GMT -5
I agree it is not perfect, but it is a journey. I doubt if any woman here started her blow job history with a full on 30 minute lock jaw event with swallowing. Don’t be so hasty in your assumptions 😉. Let’s face it, it’s not exactly a skill now is it? Looking back at my experiences I definitely would say that some women are more skillful than others. I have been fortunate enough to experience a couple women that I would have to describe as "highly skilled". |
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Post by northstarmom on Jul 7, 2020 0:58:05 GMT -5
isthisit: "Don’t be so hasty in your assumptions 😉. Let’s face it, it’s not exactly a skill now is it? "
Actually, lovemaking is a skill, one that can be learned if a person has the interest.
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Post by saarinista on Jul 7, 2020 1:35:06 GMT -5
You know what? I made a choice and read a book when I got to a certain age so I would know to to have sex, do oral and so forth! it's not rocket science, but my mamma didn't teach me either. I needed a primer.
As I recall, I read something by Helen Gurley Brown who edited Cosmopolitan magazine for years. She was big on doing right by your man. I appreciated that. I never found being a feminist incompatible with being feminine or sexual.
These days, a lot of women have an attitude blaming men for everything and acting aghas if guys want to have sex with them, which I find regrettable. Oddly, they spend tons of money on makeup and dress provocatively. Seems like a contradictory message if you ask me.
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Post by isthisit on Jul 7, 2020 1:36:19 GMT -5
isthisit: "Don’t be so hasty in your assumptions 😉. Let’s face it, it’s not exactly a skill now is it? " Actually, lovemaking is a skill, one that can be learned if a person has the interest. Actually if the topic of discussion was lovemaking I would agree with you, but it was not. It was about BJ’s and the implication that it takes time to build up to a thirty minute longevity and swallow. I am sorry but it is blindingly obvious what is desirable for a gentleman in that moment. I doubt any woman other than Mrs L thinks one minute and you’re done is what is required. |
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Post by lessingham on Jul 7, 2020 1:57:45 GMT -5
Her objection to porn is her self esteem. She feels I am judging her age, looks and sttitude against a younger, prettier model. I suspect she feels threatened by porn's laissez faire attitude, the let's do it right now view.
I would have done anything she wanted in the agreement but the porn was too much, a control freakery that even I could see was wrong.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 7, 2020 12:09:02 GMT -5
Her objection to porn is her self esteem. She feels I am judging her age, looks and sttitude against a younger, prettier model. I suspect she feels threatened by porn's laissez faire attitude, the let's do it right now view. I would have done anything she wanted in the agreement but the porn was too much, a control freakery that even I could see was wrong. Glad you are seeing the control issue, in this 'problem'. The control is her taking, taking, taking, away your thoughts, rights, words,actions, etc.... reversing it and her playing "victim' while ignoring her own issues of her low self esteem. While giving you a mere crumb, just to say " I did my part" You...will advance much further in getting your own shit together the more you can come to accept that 'she will always be this way, it's far,far, too late to fix/change her ingrained behaviors of avoiding HER issues" and that others will gladly accept and embrace you for who you are. medium.com/on-the-couch/6-things-youll-never-change-in-a-partner-b74c85bc50e8 |
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Post by worksforme2 on Jul 7, 2020 17:39:11 GMT -5
Her objection to porn is her self esteem. She feels I am judging her age, looks and sttitude against a younger, prettier model. I suspect she feels threatened by porn's laissez faire attitude, the let's do it right now view. I would have done anything she wanted in the agreement but the porn was too much, a control freakery that even I could see was wrong. I echo mirrorchild's question. Is there any sexual activity for you that she doesn't frown on? If she doesn't want you to self pleasure then she should be willing to do it for you. If she doesn't want you watching porn she needs to give you something else to feast your eyes on while she gives you a combo hand/bj. |
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Post by csl on Jul 7, 2020 20:45:51 GMT -5
I never found being a feminist incompatible with being feminine or sexual. Two words: Andrea Dworkin. |
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Post by saarinista on Jul 7, 2020 20:59:43 GMT -5
Her objection to porn is her self esteem. She feels I am judging her age, looks and sttitude against a younger, prettier model. I suspect she feels threatened by porn's laissez faire attitude, the let's do it right now view. I would have done anything she wanted in the agreement but the porn was too much, a control freakery that even I could see was wrong. I echo mirrorchild's question. Is there any sexual activity for you that she doesn't frown on? If she doesn't want you to self pleasure then she should be willing to do it for you. If she doesn't want you watching porn she needs to give you something else to feast your eyes on while she gives you a combo hand/bj. Is there anything PERIOD that Mrs. Lessingham doesn't frown on!? She sounds quite unfun. 🤔😕 |
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Post by northstarmom on Jul 8, 2020 2:27:45 GMT -5
Is this it said : “
Actually if the topic of discussion was lovemaking I would agree with you, but it was not. It was about BJ’s and the implication that it takes time to build up to a thirty minute longevity and swallow.
I am sorry but it is blindingly obvious what is desirable for a gentleman in that moment. I doubt any woman other than Mrs L thinks one minute and you’re done is what is required. ”
A bj is lovemaking. It’s also a skill that as I said can be learned IF a woman cares to learn it.
Who gives 30 minute bjs? My jaw would fall off.
As for lessingham, I wonder what kind of grown man thinks a 60 second bj with no climax is something wonderful.
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Post by isthisit on Jul 8, 2020 2:42:51 GMT -5
Is this it said : “ Actually if the topic of discussion was lovemaking I would agree with you, but it was not. It was about BJ’s and the implication that it takes time to build up to a thirty minute longevity and swallow. I am sorry but it is blindingly obvious what is desirable for a gentleman in that moment. I doubt any woman other than Mrs L thinks one minute and you’re done is what is required. ” A bj is lovemaking. It’s also a skill that as I said can be learned IF a woman cares to learn it. Who gives 30 minute bjs? My jaw would fall off. As for lessingham, I wonder what kind of grown man thinks a 60 second bj with no climax is something wonderful. Your jaw will not fall off. Give it a try. |
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Post by mirrororchid on Jul 8, 2020 6:00:17 GMT -5
You know what? I made a choice and read a book when I got to a certain age so I would know to to have sex, do oral and so forth! it's not rocket science, but my mamma didn't teach me either. I needed a primer. As I recall, I read something by Helen Gurley Brown who edited Cosmopolitan magazine for years. She was big on doing right by your man. I appreciated that. I never found being a feminist incompatible with being feminine or sexual. These days, a lot of women have an attitude blaming men for everything and acting aghast if guys want to have sex with them, which I find regrettable. Oddly, they spend tons of money on makeup and dress provocatively. Seems like a contradictory message if you ask me. For a “feminist” you sure spend a lot of time discussing mythical straw women instead of focusing on the (apparently very little) positive about women. MRAs have nothing on you. Had to look that acronym up (Men's Rights Activist) Some are obnoxious. Some are pretty sensible: When saarinista says it's "regrettable, I get an air of sympathy/pity for her sisters, not condemnation. She's seeking better rapport. As for "Straw women", you suppose women who get upset at men with higher libidos to be mythical? We might discuss their relative prevalence but to suggest they don't exist? I'm a bit confused. |
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Post by saarinista on Jul 8, 2020 10:29:13 GMT -5
deleted I realize I DO get irritated with some women. Perhaps it's because I spent so much time working (for a living) at women's health organizations and so forth, but have come to see that sometimes we women can be blind to reality and our own worst enemies. I'm not referring to you or anyone here, but to Mrs. Lessingham and sexually refusing women who mainly, IMHO, just are not very kind or equitable. I've also seen the devastating impact such refusal has on the men in our lives. I'm not married to a man whose first wife was a refuser, and a jerk, frankly. I've come to see that some of his sexual aversion is probably due to trauma over wife #1's treatment of him. Therefore, I see such maltreatment of men by women as something that actually harms men AND women, eventually. Of course, the same is true when men sexually refuse women. The resulting trauma can roll downhill and affect not just the woman immediately harmed by the refusal, but the men she may encounter later if she carries that trauma into future relationships.
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