Post by northstarmom on Mar 8, 2019 10:15:18 GMT -5
Shammy said: “I'm no expert in these things but the two instances of childbirth I witnessed did not seem particularly enjoyable.
How is it that jamming a hand IN feels good? ”
I’m with you in that it sounds awful to me and it would be a dealbreaker if a lover tried to insist on it. But I guess the fact that some women like it reflects the diversity of what people experience as sexual pleasure.
Post by greatcoastal on Mar 8, 2019 10:57:47 GMT -5
I can only guess that 'fisting' is different and not for everyone. lots of lube and a slow start is part of the procedure. Graduating from 2 fingers, up to 3 , to 4 . Putting the fist in sideways (up and down) and slowly turning it.
Yes, I have small hands ( same size as my girlfriend's hand) . ( I keep my hands smooth too. I used to hold lots of children and touch people's faces as an optician.)
I purchased a very small vibrator, "ultra Touch 2 in 1 bullet and fingertip massager" for $12.00 at Walmart the other day. It fits inside my fist and I can move it around so the ends are touching my girlfriends vagina as I move my fist around.
Shamwow, not that what anyone reads on an Internet forum speaks for the general public, but one woman wanted to know how to get 2 hands in her vagina.
OTH some woman on anther forum, posted a tampon was too big for her.
I used to be interested in solving similar problems and hoped it would fix my SM, but now I just think, not my equipment, not my problem to solve and if I had a decent solution it probably would not be accepted or work.
The more common phrase is "Not my circus, not my monkeys."
OTH #2 if some woman wanted to try it with my assistance, I might give it a go.
Must admit that I'll have a crack at just about anything sexual, but fisting would be a complete non-starter.
However, I can think of a couple of musical accompaniments for people to listen to as they get into it.
Some slight variations to that 1960's artist Chubby Checker reworked to be "The Fist"... and "Let's Fist Again" are obvious suggestions. And Dire Straits 1980's offering "Fisting By The Pool" would be another.
There'd be interesting video clips to accompany these musical masterpieces.
Post by greatcoastal on Mar 9, 2019 15:46:10 GMT -5
lately there has been so much more than just sex and intimacy in my new relationship(s).
Today was a good day to do a bunch of tree trimming on my own property. My girlfriend's attitude was a complete 180 from what I was used to with my ex.
My girlfriend tells me " yes , let's do that. I will help you. I like being outside. I like doing those kind of things. I was raised that way. I like being around, outside together. I like doing things together with you."
" I will hold the ladder for you, I will take the branches to the street. You can jump across a fence like that! That fence is so tall! How do you do that? I can't do that!"
"There's your neighbor he's so old, I wonder If we could do any tree trimming for him?" ( which we did)
These things NEVER happened that way with my ex. I was left to take care of such things all on my own. Knowing she was home , not doing much of anything, and her excuse was " that's my responsibility". Also meaning - I don't want to be seen with you, spend any time with you, and continue to detach myself from you more and more.
I also know how we are going to ' relax' later on. something that would never even enter my ex's mind!
Just another example of how things can improve if you take action, be bold, take risks, and ask for it.
Greatcostal These things NEVER happened that way with my ex. I was left to take care of such things all on my ow
Yes, outside was all my responsibility. I did get a lot of "are you done yet?" or "what is taking so long?"
Having someone to help and be positive sounds like such a great comfort. WTG for the two of you!!!!
"Having someone to help and be positive sounds like such a great comfort". It doesn't sound like too much to ask for, does it? ( especially when you are used to giving it all the time) And yet....it makes such a big difference in your life!
Today i noticed some weird redness on my legs? I figured out it was sunburn, only on the back of my lower legs? Odd? Then I realized....oh, yea, that must have happened while I spent 3 hrs on the ladder yesterday, wearing shorts, and trimming palm trees!
How does my girlfriend respond to that? " let me put some lotion on your legs for you!" Again... so different from what I had years of 'training" to expect, and ask for nothing!
This has been my most pleasant surprise. Having a partner who DOES stuff with me. I'd have to draw the line on doing roofing though - I'm terrified of heights. We did just repair the shed roof though by sending his son up there! He loves climbing so was happy to do it.
I literally cannot imagine what it would be like to have a partner that would share in those things readily. Or better yet, notice and take the initiative to fix it. I would likely fall over in shock.
It certainly IS a new experience!!
It also opens your eyes to what levels of tolerance, indifference, pain, suffering, humiliation,and rejection, that you can endure, and have endured. I see that as a good quality to fall back on for future endeavours.
I also find myself asking, " why should I go through any of that rejection, again?" . "if I do, who's to blame?"
Why.. even this morning I was getting ready to take my girlfriend to work, we had a few extra minutes to hold each other, and 'fool around' in the kitchen.
She is touching me and asking " how about you give me a few minutes, and let me please you? Just a little bit? Just a taste, so I can think about it while I am at work!"
That is UNHEARD OF in my world!! I am still getting used to such a difference! For anyone wondering, I responded with, " you'll just have to remember last night, and we will have our time later tonight". ( at my age my body works better that way. So I am discovering)
The other half of this is what we plan on doing today. She offered to help me clean up somethings on my back deck. I explained to her about the older metal patio furniture that needs sanding and painting. She said, with much enthusiasm, " let's do that today. I will help you. it's a lovely day for it, nice and cool day for it ( a high of 69 today) I love doing that kind of work. I love helping, and I get to be with you!!"
All things to be cherished, remembered, and not taken for granted when the time comes to decide to start a new beginning! ( and who I am going to do that with)
SO, so, different from my decades of ' nothing' from my now ex. I will say this though, In the beginning there where those few times of "doing things together". I have some pics of my ex up in the tree helping me string outdoor Christmas lights. However the reality is how short lived those times where. ( more bait and switch) Those things became 'my responsibility'. Here's where bills and finances, where her ' responsibility' all done on the computer. ( a sneaky way of hiding our finances from me, and her having control over it)
A side note: I handled ALL of my own bills and finances very well for a decade before my marriage. Now I am doing it all again on my own computer, and getting a little assistance from friends when needed.
Post by greatcoastal on Mar 29, 2019 8:00:20 GMT -5
My 16 yr old daughter was in car accident yesterday. SHE IS FINE! The others involved in the accident are fine. The car is totaled. This brought me and my ex together. We stood in the street with our daughter between us, both taking turns consoling our daughter, but not saying a word to each other.
It actually felt good to be in opposite land.Had we all returned home together I remember how things would have played out. Their would have been the triangulation. Grandpa ( my ex's father) and my ex would have been 2 against one in making all the decisions and hogging all the time and support that my daughter needed. Her brothers would have been very selfish about losing the car, and would have made fun of her.
Instead my daughter came home with me. I got to to be her sole caretaker. We had lots of one on one time. Her sister was there to console her, and the dog. My girlfriend was over at the house. She made dinner for all of us and had good conversations with my daughters. My daughter has her own room, so she spent her evening on her phone with friends.
My ex insisted on keeping that car in her name. She now gets to deal with the towing, the insurance, the repairs, etc... My ex also had nothing to say to the police. I did all the communicating. Not the way things used to be!
For me, the cherry on the top was later in the evening. After viewing my ex's 'let go of herself years ago size, clothes, demeanor, etc...' and then having my very intimate, caring, sexy, girlfriend laying on my bed there to comfort and console me!
greatcoastal- I’m very glad your daughter is ok! Car accidents are traumatic for anyone but especially so for new drivers. It’s good that you were there to help her deal with it. I’m sure she’ll need more of your support as days progress.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5