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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 3, 2019 14:41:20 GMT -5
Greetings.
I am pleased to pass along , that I recently graduated from 8 weeks of truckschool, and now have my CDL class A with all of my endorsements!
I have not driven an 18 wheeler in over 28 years. It was like the old saying " once you learn to ride a bicycle, you never forget". However things have changed and there were many new things to learn.
Now on to finding full time employment.
I also have been dating the same woman for 6 weeks now.
Being a divorced ,single father, after 25 yrs of marriage, was certainly ,all new ground. Along with that came forming new friendships, and what would become of some old ones.
I had a pleasant surprise the other night that I would like to share. Another adventure in opposite land.
A friend of mine, has been a good mentor for me during and after my divorce. He is happily married, and has one teenage daughter. He helps me with my computer issues, and I help him with his home repairs.
My married friends offered to take me out to dinner to celebrate my graduation. We ended up talking about my dates with my new girlfriend.
My friend asked me " so, greatcoastal, you two went to see a movie? What was it like? Did you two hold hands? Did you put your arm around her?
Meanwhile, he has his arm around his wife, and is laughing about, " where else his hand is going behind her " as they are sitting together. ( I was actually, quiet pleased to see this!!)
My friend already knows that I have had multiple days of sex with my girlfriend, however, this was our first time of all three of us ( me, him, and his wife) sitting together talking about it.
Well....... we all seemed in a cheery mood, so I decided to be BOLD. I said, " No. I did not put my arm around her. We went to a late movie. There was only one other person in the entire theater sitting 12 rows away from us. We sat all the way in the back. We were busy doing, 'other' things".
I then got even bolder. (knowing what I have shared already with my friend) I asked the both of them, " have you ever done any fisting?"
I was pleasantly surprised when his wife said," well yeah". The H then said" what kind?. Do you mean both? In the vagina, and analy?" I responded with a smile and a more relaxed feeling, " just the vagina, no anal".
My friends W went on to tell me about her own parents divorce when she was just 13 yrs. old. And how her father was very open about his sexual affairs, and brought it home for her to have to listen too, at 13.
We all agreed, how wrong that was, and how that is not going to happen at my house, to my older teenage, daughters!
It really was a surprise, to now ( at my age of 55) be talking openly about such things with another married couple. A couple that is okay with it, and doesn't look at you like you are some kind of pervert for needing to be desired again after 25 yrs of a A SM.
More new ground, and more new discoveries!
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Post by Handy on Feb 3, 2019 16:00:58 GMT -5
Congratulations on the class "A" CDL. I don't drive anything more than a pick-up truck, a full size car and a sub compact, I do watch a few videos about over the road trucks and all of the record keeping. I see the record keeping has gone digital compared to the old log books and the circular discs from the 1950's. My current interest in trucking is efficiency and see some improvements in fuel management via the computers and different electrical components. I like to know how things work and how and what interacts with other truck components. There was one experimental truck efficiency video where the MPG went from 7 MPG to 12 MPG.
Strangely, I was in New York City in 1956 and they had some old chain drive electric powered smaller/medium sized delivery trucks.
About fisting, never tried it but have seen videos. I am surprised that some women can handle the increased size of fingers or a hand compared to a cock, after reading about vagina pain during PIV sex. It was good you could talk about it with your friends. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 3, 2019 16:15:56 GMT -5
Thank you @ handy! It is good to have other people to talk about such things with. As you can imagine, during my SM it was a taboo subject with most everyone I knew. Just another 'new experience' going into opposite land.
Then again, that old saying, " don't judge a book by it's cover" can certainly hold true!
There was one time when I couldn't get the truck to start. I asked my instructor " why won't it start?" He informed me, " you have to turn it back off and wait 5 seconds for the computer to reload."
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Post by Handy on Feb 3, 2019 16:33:33 GMT -5
GC
you have to turn it back off and wait 5 seconds for the computer to reload."
I remember a video where the truck would not shift. The truck had a computerized dual manual transmission but no clutch and only a gear selector for forward or reverse. I know the guy in the video had to wait over 15 minuets for things to reset or maybe he had to disconnect the batteries to get the computer to reset.
I had a customer with a fax machine that locked up. To fix it all I did was tell him to unplug the fax machine, place a coin or key between the plug's prongs, wait 5 min and plug it back into the 110volt wall socket=problem solved.
I have a good friend with a 1 ton pick-up truck with a Cummins 6.7 L engine. I did some work on it and learned quite a bit. Around 1981 I drove the comany's Toyota delivery diesel powered pick-up truck quite bit and did a few factory recommended services on the truck, mostly regarding the fuel system. The Toyota engine in the pick-up truck looked good on paper and engineering wise but they were a pain in the ass after a couple of years. Several people took out the diesel engine and put in a Buick V6 engine with an automatic transmission.
I have adapted mentally to not judging a book by its cover (a theoretical woman's sexual preferences) but haven't hit any pay-dirt. Most women seem to not want to talk about what they like or would want if they were in a long term relationship. I don't know how bold to act sometimes without going too far and wind up being rejected. This rejection thing is partly because of past experiences, mostly with my W. Unlearning some negative impacts seems to take a while unless you have a GF like your current one. I am certain the cautious part doesn't go away over night but It sounds heavenly to be able to experiment and have the experiment make the other person happy.
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 3, 2019 18:53:14 GMT -5
Handy said: “ I have adapted mentally to not judging a book by its cover (a theoretical woman's sexual preferences) but haven't hit any pay-dirt. Most women seem to not want to talk about what they like or would want if they were in a long term relationship. I don't know how bold to act sometimes without going too far and wind up being rejected.”
That’s mainly because you have been married for 50 years and obviously can’t offer them a longterm relationship.
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Post by shamwow on Feb 3, 2019 21:20:52 GMT -5
Congrats on the license. Not sure I'd be bringing up fisting at dinner (well at least since I've been sober), but I'd hope you've explicitly discussed with your lady that you chat about that kind of stuff with friends. Especially if you plan to introduce her to them at some point. If you haven't, don't be surprised if your lady isn't thrilled that future dinner companions have details on your personal, uh, sexual adventures. Disclosure: ballofconfusion and I have spoken on several occasions and she is completely fine with the things I share here (and I share a LOT). She is far less enthusiastic for me to share with anyone she may meet in person. |
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Post by Handy on Feb 3, 2019 22:07:05 GMT -5
Northstarmom
That’s mainly because you have been married for 50 years and obviously can’t offer them a longterm relationship.
I know being married presents all sorts of road blocks. I was hoping to find out what a few women my age appreciated, liked, wanted, etc if they could have something reasonably important to them and not something so rare it might be foolish to ask for.
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 4, 2019 8:50:17 GMT -5
Handy: “I know being married presents all sorts of road blocks. I was hoping to find out what a few women my age appreciated, liked, wanted, etc if they could have something reasonably important to them and not something so rare it might be foolish to ask for.”
It probably would betterto ask such a question on an anonymous online site catering to people your age (How old are you, 74 ?). Asking it in person might be perceived as too personal or creepy.
I’m 67. If I’m old enough for my answer to help assuage your curiosity I’d be glad to answer as may other older women here.
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Post by workingonit on Feb 4, 2019 10:42:48 GMT -5
Congrats greatcoastal ! Your new life is really inspiring! I would echo Shammy's advice to check in with your lady about her boundaries on sharing. Her meeting your friends seems pretty darn likely. That said, I think it is fun that you are playing with your own boundaries by engaging in some racy talk with your friends. You are exploring your own sexuality with new self awareness and confidence. That is just awesome! |
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Post by Handy on Feb 4, 2019 20:43:46 GMT -5
NorthStarMom
It probably would betterto ask such a question on an anonymous online site catering to people your age (How old are you, 74 ?). Asking it in person might be perceived as too personal or creepy.I agree with it might be better to ask online than in person. The reason online is so-so for an answer is I know from reading several posts there are some women that want to be more than "just friends." My short term goal was to actually discover one IRL, and go from there depending on the woman's responses. There was never any intention on my part to talk someone into something they felt uncomfortable about and with me being M, I know it is a big limiting factor. I don't want to be in any situations where I am getting something I like and have a potential "her" getting as much or more from any interactions, be the interactions very minor or something major. I am not a salesman because I consider the customer's long term benefits more than any gain I receive. I am not good with "buyer's remorse" situations.
I did talk with one woman, she said before her H died, they had sex all over the place. But since he died, she couldn't picture herself ever being undressed if a man was present. I am thinking her self image and extra weight has something to do with her not wanting to be undressed if a man was looking at her. I know some women hate wrinkles and extra bulges so much it limits what they will do.
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 5, 2019 9:13:30 GMT -5
Congrats on the license. Not sure I'd be bringing up fisting at dinner (well at least since I've been sober), but I'd hope you've explicitly discussed with your lady that you chat about that kind of stuff with friends. Especially if you plan to introduce her to them at some point. If you haven't, don't be surprised if your lady isn't thrilled that future dinner companions have details on your personal, uh, sexual adventures. Disclosure: ballofconfusion and I have spoken on several occasions and she is completely fine with the things I share here (and I share a LOT). She is far less enthusiastic for me to share with anyone she may meet in person. I had already discussed with my girlfriend, what things I would talk about, and with whom. She does,and did not care. It did not bother her. She actually laughed, and was surprised that my friends were open to it. In fact she is even more anxious to cook them dinner, and invite them over to the house. Actually, much like myself, it's rather refreshing to meet another couple our age who will touch each other in public, and openly talk about more personal things in private. For those of you who had those few special people to be there for you, as you went through the 'emotional roller coaster of divorce from a SM with a narcissist, it gets even better when you can now share openly your new victories and success. By then, there is little that me and my few ,close friends , have not shared. Getting my license again, is a good step forward. Being Mr. stay at home dad for the past 16 yrs. put a big gap in my resume. Even if I don't end up with a driving job, Truck school was something to put on my resume to show that I am still trainable I had a 98.9 GPA. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 5, 2019 9:36:56 GMT -5
Congrats greatcoastal ! Your new life is really inspiring! I would echo Shammy's advice to check in with your lady about her boundaries on sharing. Her meeting your friends seems pretty darn likely. That said, I think it is fun that you are playing with your own boundaries by engaging in some racy talk with your friends. You are exploring your own sexuality with new self awareness and confidence. That is just awesome! Thank you!! These are people who have " heard it all," already. All the good, bad and the ugly, of my divorce and years of SM. ( like so many of the fine folks here!) You know, after my divorce, and after putting my foot into the dating pool, I thought I was going to have to be the one who did most of the 'aggression' when it came to initiating intimacy and sex, with any new relationships I would have! I also thought that, after years, and years, and years, of draught, that I would, most likely, over do it! That I would be too aggressive. Instead, it's turned out to be more the opposite! I'm the one who has to say, " let's wait awhile. Or, okay if you want to". My new girlfriend has close relationships with her customers. The people whose houses she cleans. I once had a house cleaning agency for a few seasons, and there was very little communication. However her and her customers have known each other for years. In our first 2 weeks together, I was really surprised by how many people insisted on " wanting to meet me, and have me over for dinner!" I am the one who is saying, " Not yet, we are still just getting to know each other. let's wait until we have been seeing each other for a while , before you have to go introducing me ." More and more of it just goes back to her background. Her being raised in Italy, and her forward, outgoing personality. She reminds me " Honey, I say things, I tell it like it is!" How very different from my years of living with a crafty, quiet, manipulative, controller. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 11, 2019 16:10:15 GMT -5
Congrats on the license. Not sure I'd be bringing up fisting at dinner (well at least since I've been sober), but I'd hope you've explicitly discussed with your lady that you chat about that kind of stuff with friends. Especially if you plan to introduce her to them at some point. If you haven't, don't be surprised if your lady isn't thrilled that future dinner companions have details on your personal, uh, sexual adventures. Disclosure: ballofconfusion and I have spoken on several occasions and she is completely fine with the things I share here (and I share a LOT). She is far less enthusiastic for me to share with anyone she may meet in person. I had already discussed with my girlfriend, what things I would talk about, and with whom. She does,and did not care. It did not bother her. She actually laughed, and was surprised that my friends were open to it. In fact she is even more anxious to cook them dinner, and invite them over to the house. Actually, much like myself, it's rather refreshing to meet another couple our age who will touch each other in public, and openly talk about more personal things in private. For those of you who had those few special people to be there for you, as you went through the 'emotional roller coaster of divorce from a SM with a narcissist, it gets even better when you can now share openly your new victories and success. By then, there is little that me and my few ,close friends , have not shared. Getting my license again, is a good step forward. Being Mr. stay at home dad for the past 16 yrs. put a big gap in my resume. Even if I don't end up with a driving job, Truck school was something to put on my resume to show that I am still trainable I had a 98.9 GPA. This weekend, my girlfriend and I went to visit my friends. The "point of introduction" happened. My friend had helped me purchase a new computer for my girlfriend, and it was at his house. It was kind of a "surprise for my friends" and was meant to be a 'short' introduction. Knowing we will have much more time together next week. I was really, really, happy how well it all went! My mind was thinking about how different it would have been had my new friends met my ex ( if we were still married). I can imagine it would have been very drab, and formal. Instead I stood back and watched, learned, and observed! To be honest.... I was a bit embarrassed ( for lack of a better word) at my girlfriends nervousness, and yet lack of shyness, as she spoke about herself. Still new ground for me. Perhaps " embarrassed" is not the right word! More like, "amazed and happy "at how different it was introducing this woman to people, compared to my ex. I was very, very, pleased with my friends!! They (literally) embraced her! When it was time to leave I watched all of them give each other a customary Italian, double kiss on the cheeks! My girlfriend tells me when we get in the car leaving" your friends are so nice! I can't wait to have them over for dinner! "( such words were never spoken by my ex about anyone) my friend texted me saying " wonderful meeting your girlfriend. Neat to get to know her. My W grew up with the European greeting/goodbye style. I simply copy  ". ( more compliments that were never spoken about my ex, by any of my friends) Then again, my ex was a master at avoiding , or having any company at our house, except for her own family. Here's to new beginnings! ( my house, my friends, my rules) |
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rudra
Junior Member
Escapee from 12-year sexless marriage. In a "real" marriage for another 12 years now.
Posts: 27 
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Post by rudra on Mar 5, 2019 11:12:50 GMT -5
About fisting, never tried it but have seen videos. I am surprised that some women can handle the increased size of fingers or a hand compared to a cock, after reading about vagina pain during PIV sex. It was good you could talk about it with your friends. Vaginas can stretch. Consider that women can push a full-term baby through one.
It works if you go slow, she's aroused, everything is well-lubed.
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Post by shamwow on Mar 8, 2019 9:11:46 GMT -5
About fisting, never tried it but have seen videos. I am surprised that some women can handle the increased size of fingers or a hand compared to a cock, after reading about vagina pain during PIV sex. It was good you could talk about it with your friends. Vaginas can stretch. Consider that women can push a full-term baby through one.
It works if you go slow, she's aroused, everything is well-lubed.
I'm no expert in these things but the two instances of childbirth I witnessed did not seem particularly enjoyable. How is it that jamming a hand IN feels good? Maybe I'm just confused because my hands are huge 🤣 |
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". ( more compliments that were never spoken about my ex, by any of my friends) Then again, my ex was a master at avoiding , or having any company at our house, except for her own family.