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Post by greatcoastal on May 16, 2016 6:34:13 GMT -5
When I was a child my mother hugged me a lot and she has never stopped doing that. I have often sat on her lap and she would sing me old songs from her youth while I held her close. Last year on the evening just before she died, she could not speak but was still somewhat conscious. I said to her she was such a loving mother and told her 'do you remember when I sat on your lap?' And she looked at me understanding. I sang my favourite old song to her and I could see, despite her dementia, she recognized it and remembered it and was comforted. My father has never cuddled me when I was a child, only recently since my mother's illness got worse, he got more hugging. My husband cuddles our daughter and I have cuddled her endlessly but now my husband has influenced her so much that she hardly cuddles me any more. I am not clean enough to cuddle according to him. That's a great example, about your mom! i hesitate to enter " like" due to the end about your husband. The dirtiest thing in the house is his sick, selfish, controlling, behavior. |
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Post by 3000more on May 16, 2016 14:52:05 GMT -5
This morning at my men's bible study someone brought up all the problems they were having with raising their stepdaughters. Several of the men said, " puberty is the time when they need there dad the most. You should be hugging your daughter, because if you don't there are plenty of 14 yr old boys waiting to dump there testosterone on them! I chimed in with, " my controlling spouse informed me two years ago, not to hug or kiss my daughters anymore, that was wrong. They are getting to old for that" I call that her, " old school ways of thinking" i told the guys, " yea, my wife has my daughters giving her a good night kiss and a hug, while they wave at me from across the room and say goodnight" . " then my daughter feels like she can hug me in private, when mom's not around" SICK ISN't it! One of the guys said," ask your wife who she would rather have hugging your daughter, you or some 15 yr old boy?" A book that was recommended for me is titled, " She Calls Me Daddy" I plan on reading it. All thoughts, comments, advise, are welcome. ( except for any shallow comments about bible study) Maybe its mentioned later, if not " Dad Here's What I Really Need from You" by Michelle Watson, specifically for dad's raising daughters. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Nov 25, 2017 8:46:56 GMT -5
This morning at my men's bible study someone brought up all the problems they were having with raising their stepdaughters. Several of the men said, " puberty is the time when they need there dad the most. You should be hugging your daughter, because if you don't there are plenty of 14 yr old boys waiting to dump there testosterone on them! I chimed in with, " my controlling spouse informed me two years ago, not to hug or kiss my daughters anymore, that was wrong. They are getting to old for that" I call that her, " old school ways of thinking" i told the guys, " yea, my wife has my daughters giving her a good night kiss and a hug, while they wave at me from across the room and say goodnight" . " then my daughter feels like she can hug me in private, when mom's not around" SICK ISN't it! One of the guys said," ask your wife who she would rather have hugging your daughter, you or some 15 yr old boy?" A book that was recommended for me is titled, " She Calls Me Daddy" I plan on reading it. All thoughts, comments, advise, are welcome. ( except for any shallow comments about bible study) My W squashed the kissing the kids on the lips when they were real young. I was too much of a submissive, people-pleasing, lily-livered nice guy to push back. Since then I’ve grown a pair of balls, but I think it’s too late to start back on the lips now that the standard has been firmly established. I can still continue to be the more affectionate parent in other ways. I hope you are able to read all the other posts on here. There is a vast amount of valuable information, insights, and experience on here, that addresses your situation. |
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Dec 11, 2017 12:21:41 GMT -5
My 14-year-old son says: “Even when you’re in, like, your 60s, you should still hug your parents!”
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Post by darktippedrose on Dec 11, 2017 15:35:54 GMT -5
wow. I have the opposite problem. My husband thinks that if I don't quit hugging and kissing my daughters, that I'm going to make them gay. they don't hug and kiss a lot in my husband's family.
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Post by wewbwb on Dec 20, 2017 15:45:44 GMT -5
wow. I have the opposite problem. My husband thinks that if I don't quit hugging and kissing my daughters, that I'm going to make them gay. they don't hug and kiss a lot in my husband's family. Well, you don't want to get "The Gay" on them. I hear that it's difficult to remove.....  |
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Post by darktippedrose on Dec 20, 2017 19:43:47 GMT -5
wow. I have the opposite problem. My husband thinks that if I don't quit hugging and kissing my daughters, that I'm going to make them gay. they don't hug and kiss a lot in my husband's family. Well, you don't want to get "The Gay" on them. I hear that it's difficult to remove..... OMG, I'm dying of laughter, hahaha my family is quite dysfunctional but we kiss and hug a lot. Its what I'm used to. I used to sleep next to my mom until she died. So yeah ....... Meanwhile my husband got beat by his dad for playing tag with a boy that was white. so ...... go figure. |
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Post by northstarmom on Dec 20, 2017 20:57:20 GMT -5
"Meanwhile my husband got beat by his dad for playing tag with a boy that was white. so ...... go figure. "
And then your husband decided to marry you, a white woman....
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Post by darktippedrose on Dec 21, 2017 10:57:04 GMT -5
"Meanwhile my husband got beat by his dad for playing tag with a boy that was white. so ...... go figure. " And then your husband decided to marry you, a white woman.... technically, I'm half white. I was just trying to point out how he wasn't raised with lots of affection, etc. |
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Post by northstarmom on Dec 21, 2017 11:25:37 GMT -5
You may be technically half white, but your husband has used your white ancestry as an excuse to verbally abuse you. He has not turned against his racist upbringing. He has embraced it. He is a very damaged man who takes out his anger and confusion on you.
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Post by darktippedrose on Dec 21, 2017 15:26:44 GMT -5
Very true. Some days I"m too white, some days he's mad that I act "arab" to him because I never met my father. And his kids can be the same way. Which could be just compensation because they grew up in Japan and I guess don't feel black enough.
but anyways, it is what it is.
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