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Post by wom360 on Jul 11, 2017 23:32:59 GMT -5
I think that is actually illegal. Have you considered calling the police? I saw your post where she asked you to consider counseling. It may work, but if you don't get a sex positive counselor, run as fast as you can. I know she will pick a Christian counselor, because she is one herself. She will have the home court advantage, but it will go nowhere. I've got my Bible verses, too, and they're, um, pretty damning. Seriously why would you bother agreeing to that? What are the consequences if you say no thanks? |
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Jul 12, 2017 0:36:47 GMT -5
Damn you ironmaster. Now we are all outed! Should I expect that email from the bank of nigeria? Maybe an obvious question: Did you tell your "date" about this place? Oh. I should go over my texts. I don't think so, but it is possible. |
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Post by deleted on Jul 12, 2017 1:32:56 GMT -5
Sorry to hear this. I hope this works out they way you want.
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Post by ironhamster on Jul 12, 2017 2:58:07 GMT -5
I know she will pick a Christian counselor, because she is one herself. She will have the home court advantage, but it will go nowhere. I've got my Bible verses, too, and they're, um, pretty damning. Seriously why would you bother agreeing to that? What are the consequences if you say no thanks? I'm agreeing because, even though it does not help me immediately, it is still a step. I know that we will find and implement the best solution to this once she has expended every other option. |
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Post by ironhamster on Jul 12, 2017 3:11:38 GMT -5
Damn you ironmaster. Now we are all outed! Should I expect that email from the bank of nigeria? Oh. I should go over my texts. I don't think so, but it is possible. At least you are not flagrantly wreckless about your online identity. I most certainly am. That being said, I have memes of her prepared and will dox the hell out of her if she becomes too much of a problem. |
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Post by seabr33z3 on Jul 12, 2017 4:14:38 GMT -5
So strange that she actually took the time to talk so much with you and have cybersex just to turn around and do this. I never saw her balance statement, but she has a nice house and works very little. There are all sorts of ways to explain that, but I know what I think is one of her revenue sources. Did she ask for money to stay quiet? |
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Post by seabr33z3 on Jul 12, 2017 4:19:52 GMT -5
Don't agree to counseling without sex first as a condition. aye.. That's a good start to counselling 🙄. IMO when a partner agrees to counselling when threatened with divorce or separation or finding out about an affair it's already too late. They are doing it fot themselves, not for you. |
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Post by seabr33z3 on Jul 12, 2017 4:23:13 GMT -5
Damn you ironmaster. Now we are all outed! Should I expect that email from the bank of nigeria? At least you are not flagrantly wreckless about your online identity. I most certainly am. That being said, I have memes of her prepared and will dox the hell out of her if she becomes too much of a problem. 😂😂😂😂 |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2017 5:43:08 GMT -5
I know she will pick a Christian counselor, because she is one herself. She will have the home court advantage, but it will go nowhere. I've got my Bible verses, too, and they're, um, pretty damning. So your refuser is a Christian counselor? I have to say she is a blatant hypocrite. She knows the devastation of a sexless marriage and did it anyway. Sounds like she needs some serious biblical instruction to me! |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Jul 12, 2017 6:51:18 GMT -5
The universe conspires on our behalf often. I love that you found the bright side in this "always most feared" event.
Bring out the truth! (*to the Tune of Monty Python's Bring out your dead!)
A la: Bring out the truth of this dead marriage. Get it out on the table so we can commence to cutting out the abscessed parts. You can't get to the root of a problem that can't be discussed.
Good luck in this part of dealing with an SM. You will need to keep your intuition keen for the next long stretch here.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jul 12, 2017 7:18:13 GMT -5
You sound amazingly grounded and good-natured about this whole crazy episode! I would be so enraged. Can I have some of whatever you are on? ROFL. Yes. I bust my ass, so it's probably the endorphins that keep me calm. I'm willing to take risks, and accept the consequences of my actions. I went twenty three years trying to make monogamy, or, nonogamy, work. I think that there is a point where we come to peace with out effort and decide we have suffered enough. Oh man, you are so right. Let the dice fall as they may. |
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Post by WindSister on Jul 12, 2017 8:59:58 GMT -5
Wow! That's a lot to go down. You are taking it well, though, so kudos. Yes, it's an opportunity and clearly she can see you are not joking. Hope that other woman doesn't remain an issue. Good gosh. Craziness lurks!
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Post by csl on Jul 12, 2017 10:19:20 GMT -5
I think that is actually illegal. Have you considered calling the police? I saw your post where she asked you to consider counseling. It may work, but if you don't get a sex positive counselor, run as fast as you can. I know she will pick a Christian counselor, because she is one herself. She will have the home court advantage, but it will go nowhere. I've got my Bible verses, too, and they're, um, pretty damning. Not to toot my own horn, but to go into that counseling session, read everything on the Sexless Marriage page of my blog (listed below). Yes, I'm a Christian and make no bones about it, but I am not a marital absolutist or idolater, and I have tried to deal with all the shibboleths that are used on denied spouses. |
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Post by Apocrypha on Jul 12, 2017 10:22:39 GMT -5
I believe so. She started threatening to contact my wife. As you can see from my profile pic, I am intentionally wreckless online. This went on Monday and today, repeatedly threatening to contact her. When I called her out and said nothing she had was worth a dime to me, she made contact. If she reverse image searched your Tinder pic and it was the same as this one, she could be led here. If you have mentioned the open relationship question with your wife, you would have lit her up into active suspicion mode, which could have her taking active measures to "test" you or to hunt you down. Placing your pic online lights you up to all her single friends, acquaintances and co-workers. Attempting an open relationship AFTER being caught cheating is literally the worst possible introduction to consensual non-monogamy, given the amount of personal trust that's required. I can attest to that from personal experience. If it wasn't considered before, cheating has now become a playable move on both sides of the table, adding to the volatility and unpredictability of the result. If you are intentionally reckless online, you likely have something more to say that you aren't saying directly. You are instead using these indirect means to create an unpredictable situation that replaces clear negotiation and language. |
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Post by ironhamster on Jul 12, 2017 13:40:38 GMT -5
I believe so. She started threatening to contact my wife. As you can see from my profile pic, I am intentionally wreckless online. This went on Monday and today, repeatedly threatening to contact her. When I called her out and said nothing she had was worth a dime to me, she made contact. If she reverse image searched your Tinder pic and it was the same as this one, she could be led here. If you have mentioned the open relationship question with your wife, you would have lit her up into active suspicion mode, which could have her taking active measures to "test" you or to hunt you down. Placing your pic online lights you up to all her single friends, acquaintances and co-workers. Attempting an open relationship AFTER being caught cheating is literally the worst possible introduction to consensual non-monogamy, given the amount of personal trust that's required. I can attest to that from personal experience. If it wasn't before, cheating is now a playable move on both sides of the table, adding to the volatility and unpredictability of the result. If you are intentionally reckless online, you likely have more to say directly that you aren't saying directly, instead using these indirect means to create an unpredictable situation that replaces iclear negotiation and language. Thanks, Apocrypha. I've modified my pic. Your insights on my communication is spot on. This Spring my wife shut down communication because what I was saying, which was trying to explain my needs, was hurtful to her. |
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