Outed for extramarital activity

A quick guide to anonymity:

First, create a completely separate electronic identity that has NOTHING to do with your real life. A new email, completely new nickname for all accounts, new Skype.

Only browse to sites like this or SW or Ashley Madison or whatever using incognito mode on your browser. (Facebook too if you want. ) Yes, you'll have to type the full URL in every time. Sorry.

Similarly, on your phone, download a different browser (or use incognito mode) and hide it as best you can. If you are super paranoid, get a burner phone.

Be careful allowing your kids to play with your phone!

Be careful about sharing your photo and especially any photos/videos that could be blackmail fodder.

A Google Voice account gives you a new number. But it has to be associated with a real number. However, you can make phone calls from Google Hangouts.

You can also use a free conference call service and arrange phone conversations on there, so both parties remain anonymous. If that is too much of a pain, at a minimum, block caller ID when you call someone. But your phone bill will still show the number you called if you don't use a separate voice over IP service.

Whatsapp has great security but uses real phone numbers so unless you have a dedicated phone, forget it.

Kik chat is nice in that you can just make up a user ID without associating it with anything else. But I don't think it has interactive voice.

Delete old conversations that might be compromising on sites like Similar Worlds.

Never tell anyone your real full name until you are VERY sure who they are. Period. If someone insists on knowing your full name, they might just be cautious, but you need to be, too.

Of course, only meet people in public the first time if you get to that point.

Let me add Mewe.com to the list. It has chat with voice recording and picture options, plus a "Me" picture, which can only be taken from your devices phone, to prevent catfishing.

On Mewe, when you leave a group, it vaporizes everything you have posted.

My interest in anonymity goes way beyond anything from ILIASM, baza. I taught my kids some of this when they were young and starting to go online. I work in computer security so I've always been a little paranoid. I have an idea of what someone can find out about someone else with very little information. And how much more they can find out with a little money.

There is no reason your Facebook account has to use your real name, for example. Most people are willingly giving up their privacy for literally nothing. It is a big problem.

Don't agree to counseling without sex first as a condition.

You sound amazingly grounded and good-natured about this whole crazy episode! I would be so enraged. Can I have some of whatever you are on?

ironhamster, this is very sad to hear.  I can tell you that making love to a woman who loves me is infinitely better.

I was there, once. I will be there, again, some day.