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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 6, 2017 5:54:40 GMT -5
So, here it is 5:45 am and I should still be sleeping, but nope. H woke me up with his usual morning grumbling. He's not a very morning person. Lol
Normally, I can just tune him out and drift back to sleep, not this morning. I hear him making comments about how it's going to come down to me toning up, start wearing make-up and being a more efficient housekeeper, but for someone else.
Ouch.
Okay, let me point out something, when it comes to housework I'm a procrastinator on stuff. I'm not the June Cleaver type housewife who cleans just to clean. And up until a year ago, I worked. It's just been this last year that I've become a homemaker again.
As for the make-up....um he and I have been together for 19 years, married the last nearly 16 and in all these years I rarely have worn make-up. Yet now suddenly he wants me to? WTF?!?!?
Yesterday I noticed that somewhere over the last few weeks I somehow dropped 7lbs and never noticed. Well, today I planned to start toning up.
I'm 5'4 and weigh 136. I know I could be in a bit more better shape and my plan was to start on that this morning. For not just myself health wise but also for him. Now, after hearing him this morning I'm starting to wonder should I even bother? Will he even notice if I do?
Maybe he will, maybe he won't. I'm still gonna try but it hurts to think that even if I do this, he won't notice and then where does that leave me, other than ambit healthier?
😞
Personally I don't think I look too bad, but maybe I'm wrong.
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Post by hopingforachange on Jun 6, 2017 6:01:34 GMT -5
The one thing I learned is, to your spouse, your weight (within reason) should matter.
If you want to do it, do it for your self. Not only for your body to be healthy, but it can also help your mind feel better.
The confidence boost from the looks at the grocery store are also a confidence/ esteem booster.
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Post by baza on Jun 6, 2017 6:41:23 GMT -5
Two totally different matters in play here.
#1 - your spouse behaving like a jerk.
#2 - you aspiring to tone up.
Your chances of toning up look quite achievable, and is a worthwhile aim for anyone, irrespective of marital status or marital quality.
Him being a jerk doesn't appear to be a fixable matter based on this, and your other postings. It is absolutely unfixable as far as you being able to do it. And he's not showing any signs of wanting to fix it himself.
Anyway, the two things are stand alone issues.
Unrelated to each other.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 6, 2017 6:43:06 GMT -5
The weird thing is he's not always like that. It's a back and forth deal and it leaves me confused.
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Post by baza on Jun 6, 2017 6:46:24 GMT -5
"it leaves me confused". Sister tiffanyc - that's exactly what it is supposed to do. Keep you off balance, and chasing shadows. |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 6, 2017 6:47:41 GMT -5
"it leaves me confused". Sister @ tiffanyc - that's exactly what it is supposed to do. Keep you off balance, and chasing shadows. I just hate the not knowing if he's genuinely interested in what I try to do or not. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 6, 2017 6:50:52 GMT -5
The weird thing is he's not always like that. It's a back and forth deal and it leaves me confused. I'll take a guess at that. It's there, (he's always like that) but it only comes out from time to time, due to two things. One, a passive, aggressive behavior. Or two, a manipulative controlling behavior. Leaving him in control, and you confused. |
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Post by wewbwb on Jun 6, 2017 7:34:01 GMT -5
tiffanycI can help you tone up. I'll chase you around. (actually I don't run, so that's a joke)  You look fine. He's a dick bag.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 6, 2017 7:35:28 GMT -5
Lol thanks wewbwb. 😊
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 6, 2017 7:36:26 GMT -5
On a positive note, I did just finish this. Not bad since I have done a bike ride long distance or any distance since January.
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 6, 2017 7:42:40 GMT -5
A marriage without sex is not normal. He has nothing to complain about your looks. You are pretty and you have a nice figure.
I would play his game though just to test it for yourself, but first I would say to him "I appreciate that you told me what you need from me in order to want to want to have sex, this is what I need to want to have sex: X,y,Z".
So put on makeup and put your hair in a clip instead of a ponytail.
Do it for yourself though as well. I would keep a journal with the date whether you wore makeup or not and whether he had sex with you as well as if it met your X,y,Z expectations.
Then in a month you need to reevaluate the situation.
I would also talk to an attorney.
Honestly your H is an asshole, I'd be damned if he said give me a blow job. I'd tell him he better get more flexible and learn to suck his own dick and if he uses another woman for those services you will take him to the cleaners.
You both need to figure out if you still love each other romantically and want to stay married or not.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 6, 2017 7:46:34 GMT -5
A marriage without sex is not normal. He has nothing to complain about your looks. You are pretty and you have a nice figure. I would play his game though just to test it for yourself, but first I would say to him "I appreciate that you told me what you need from me in order to want to want to have sex, this is what I need to want to have sex: X,y,Z". So put on makeup and put your hair in a clip instead of a ponytail. Do it for yourself though as well. I would keep a journal with the date whether you wore makeup or not and whether he had sex with you as well as if it met your X,y,Z expectations. Then in a month you need to reevaluate the situation. I would also talk to an attorney. Honestly your H is an asshole, I'd be damned if he said give me a blow job. I'd tell him he better get more flexible and learn to suck his own dick and if he uses another woman for those services you will take him to the cleaners. You both need to figure out if you still love each other romantically and want to stay married or not. The limited sex part is actually me. For the last several years my sex drive has been low. Back in March at my yearly physical I brought it up with my new dr. After a full blood panel she found my testosterone levels were low and she said that is more than likely the culprit. Yet H didn't seem interested in me trying Bioten as a possible solution to boost my levels. His immediate response was exercise more. 😑 |
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 6, 2017 7:49:34 GMT -5
A marriage without sex is not normal. He has nothing to complain about your looks. You are pretty and you have a nice figure. I would play his game though just to test it for yourself, but first I would say to him "I appreciate that you told me what you need from me in order to want to want to have sex, this is what I need to want to have sex: X,y,Z". So put on makeup and put your hair in a clip instead of a ponytail. Do it for yourself though as well. I would keep a journal with the date whether you wore makeup or not and whether he had sex with you as well as if it met your X,y,Z expectations. Then in a month you need to reevaluate the situation. I would also talk to an attorney. Honestly your H is an asshole, I'd be damned if he said give me a blow job. I'd tell him he better get more flexible and learn to suck his own dick and if he uses another woman for those services you will take him to the cleaners. You both need to figure out if you still love each other romantically and want to stay married or not. The limited sex part is actually me. For the last several years my sex drive has been low. Back in March at my yearly physical I brought it up with my new dr. After a full blood panel she found my testosterone levels were low and she said that is more than likely the culprit. Yet H didn't seem interested in me trying Bioten as a possible solution to boost my levels. His immediate response was exercise more. 😑 How much does the Bioten cost? Is it expensive? |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 6, 2017 7:53:13 GMT -5
The limited sex part is actually me. For the last several years my sex drive has been low. Back in March at my yearly physical I brought it up with my new dr. After a full blood panel she found my testosterone levels were low and she said that is more than likely the culprit. Yet H didn't seem interested in me trying Bioten as a possible solution to boost my levels. His immediate response was exercise more. 😑 How much does the Bioten cost? Is it expensive? It's like $325 every three or four months I think. |
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 6, 2017 7:55:36 GMT -5
How much does the Bioten cost? Is it expensive? It's like $325 every three or four months I think. Ok so it's not cheap but divorce is going to cost him a lot more than $100 a month. Your marriage is in crisis you both need to work together to solve this if you still love each other. |
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