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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 6, 2017 15:50:58 GMT -5
Dear tiffanyc, I am really , really, glad that northstarmom, and others have chimed in here!
I know from my own experiences that others with a fuller background and vocabulary can put my thoughts , and feelings into a much better format, and words than I can.
You will cherish posts like these for a long time, as you strive to find your joy, and take steps forward.
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Post by unmatched on Jun 6, 2017 21:09:11 GMT -5
I am with northstarmom - I think if your husband stopped behaving like a retarded caveman and starting treating you like a human being, or if you found yourself single (however that might happen  ) and being seduced by someone who actually took the time to talk to you and see you and give you the love you deserve, you might just find your libido suddenly springing back into life. In fact you might even scare yourself with how different you feel. |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 6, 2017 21:14:11 GMT -5
I am with northstarmom - I think if your husband stopped behaving like a retarded caveman and starting treating you like a human being, or if you found yourself single (however that might happen ) and being seduced by someone who actually took the time to talk to you and see you and give you the love you deserve, you might just find your libido suddenly springing back into life. In fact you might even scare yourself with how different you feel. And I would love if he did the seducing. Hell, as it is no one has even tried. I'm married yes but I'm not dead. Sometimes a woman just likes to be appreciated as a woman. |
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Post by unmatched on Jun 6, 2017 21:23:37 GMT -5
As a follow up, I also think if you felt a whole lot better about yourself then your libido would probably also come back. This might be over-interpreting but I get the impression you have been married your whole adult life and stuck in a relationship that isn't giving you what you need, and your sense of yourself is almost entirely bound up with a man who doesn't show much appreciation, and right now with a lot of homemaker duties that you don't feel particularly excited about. If you spent the next six months getting yourself into really good shape, finding stuff to do that you are passionate about, getting yourself a social life back, etc. etc. then it would be interesting to see by Christmas whether you didn't feel a whole lot different about things. I would place a fairly large bet that your sex drive would start poking its head up in a big way (no pun intended). Whether you still want to fuck your husband at that point might depend largely on him...
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Post by baza on Jun 6, 2017 21:30:03 GMT -5
Sister tiffanycWould it be a reasonable hypothesis that you have internalised these bullshit standards your spouse has been feeding you, and now, it is YOU who has taken over telling YOURSELF this bullshit ? The loudest voice in ones head is ones own. |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 6, 2017 21:34:18 GMT -5
As a follow up, I also think if you felt a whole lot better about yourself then your libido would probably also come back. This might be over-interpreting but I get the impression you have been married your whole adult life and stuck in a relationship that isn't giving you what you need, and your sense of yourself is almost entirely bound up with a man who doesn't show much appreciation, and right now with a lot of homemaker duties that you don't feel particularly excited about. If you spent the next six months getting yourself into really good shape, finding stuff to do that you are passionate about, getting yourself a social life back, etc. etc. then it would be interesting to see by Christmas whether you didn't feel a whole lot different about things. I would place a fairly large bet that your sex drive would start poking its head up in a big way (no pun intended). Whether you still want to fuck your husband at that point might depend largely on him... I'm working on my self. Well, started this morning. As for my appearance, honestly I'm happy with me. I have never been one for wearing those little dresses for no reason. I'm happier in jeans, capris, shorts and shirts. I think a housewife can look hot in those too. But it's frustrating that he won't or doesn't show some attention. I do sometimes wonder if I'm attractive to other people. Maybe I'm just weird that way or it's just been that long since I've felt...desirable. |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 6, 2017 21:35:16 GMT -5
Sister tiffanycWould it be a reasonable hypothesis that you have internalised these bullshit standards your spouse has been feeding you, and now, it is YOU who has taken over telling YOURSELF this bullshit ? The loudest voice in ones head is ones own. Maybe you're right. As I start this journey maybe I'll find the answer. |
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Post by unmatched on Jun 6, 2017 21:55:43 GMT -5
As a follow up, I also think if you felt a whole lot better about yourself then your libido would probably also come back. This might be over-interpreting but I get the impression you have been married your whole adult life and stuck in a relationship that isn't giving you what you need, and your sense of yourself is almost entirely bound up with a man who doesn't show much appreciation, and right now with a lot of homemaker duties that you don't feel particularly excited about. If you spent the next six months getting yourself into really good shape, finding stuff to do that you are passionate about, getting yourself a social life back, etc. etc. then it would be interesting to see by Christmas whether you didn't feel a whole lot different about things. I would place a fairly large bet that your sex drive would start poking its head up in a big way (no pun intended). Whether you still want to fuck your husband at that point might depend largely on him... I'm working on my self. Well, started this morning. As for my appearance, honestly I'm happy with me. I have never been one for wearing those little dresses for no reason. I'm happier in jeans, capris, shorts and shirts. I think a housewife can look hot in those too. But it's frustrating that he won't or doesn't show some attention. I do sometimes wonder if I'm attractive to other people. Maybe I'm just weird that way or it's just been that long since I've felt...desirable. Trust me, there is nothing wrong with the way you look . You could do a trial - start flirting with people, just a little, in the supermarket or the gym or when you go out for coffee. See what comes back. It might put a whole different complexion on your day. |
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Post by lyn on Jun 6, 2017 22:02:37 GMT -5
Hi tiffanyc I want to read through the entire thread, and I will, but I am mortified by what your husband said in regards to your appearance. He is an a**hole. Plain and simple. What he says matters not. Thank God you realize that you look just fine!! This is actually huge. Working out will only be a succesful endeavor if you do it for yourself. Don't do it for your h. (Boy, did I struggle with not calling him a twat-box). If your self esteem is relatively "in-tact", I'd say you're way ahead of the game here! If you have personal fitness and nutritional goals, well, that's amazing and a gift unto yourself. Please don't do this for him though. Trust me, you look just fine the way you are. Your bmi is not totally out of whack. Kind of curious what HE looks like - fitness-wise. Now, going to read the rest of your thread! Just needed to get this out there! |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 6, 2017 22:06:11 GMT -5
Hi tiffanyc I want to read through the entire thread, and I will, but I am mortified by what your husband said in regards to your appearance. He is an a**hole. Plain and simple. What he says matters not. Thank God you realize that you look just fine!! This is actually huge. Working out will only be a succesful endeavor if you do it for yourself. Don't do it for your h. (Boy, did I struggle with not calling him a twat-box). If your self esteem is relatively "in-tact", I'd say you're way ahead of the game here! If you have personal fitness and nutritional goals, well, that's amazing and a gift unto yourself. Please don't do this for him though. Trust me, you look just fine the way you are. Your bmi is not totally out of whack. Kind of curious what HE looks like - fitness-wise. Now, going to read the rest of your thread! Just needed to get this out there! Thanks for the uplifting words. |
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Post by lyn on Jun 6, 2017 22:09:01 GMT -5
You are beautiful. He does look fit, thats fine I suppose, but you ARE a beautiful woman!
One ear and out the other - that's what I would do with his words my dear.
Xx
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Post by lyn on Jun 6, 2017 22:10:01 GMT -5
He sure has his meat-hook clamped on you good!
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 6, 2017 22:14:44 GMT -5
You are beautiful. He does look fit, thats fine I suppose, but you ARE a beautiful woman! One ear and out the other - that's what I would do with his words my dear. Xx That's what I normally do. But once and a while things get to me. |
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Post by baza on Jun 6, 2017 22:15:22 GMT -5
Presumably he had to rush off to an Elvis Costello Look-A-like competition after the photo.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 6, 2017 22:15:58 GMT -5
Presumably he had to rush off to an Elvis Costello Look-Alike competition after the photo. 😂😂😂😂😂 |
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) and being seduced by someone who actually took the time to talk to you and see you and give you the love you deserve, you might just find your libido suddenly springing back into life. In fact you might even scare yourself with how different you feel.
