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Post by solodriver on Feb 4, 2017 19:35:42 GMT -5
Our wedding anniversary is the week of Valentine's Day. I know on Valentine's Day there will be no kiss or Happy Valentine's Day hug or wish. Maybe dinner out and a movie. But no sex will occur on either date. A long time ago it may have happened on our anniversary, but certainly not in the last 20 years.
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Post by shamwow on Feb 4, 2017 19:54:41 GMT -5
What is this Valentine's Day you speak of?
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Post by facingthevoid on Feb 14, 2017 7:49:37 GMT -5
I am glad my parents are still alive and I have children at home to celebrate Valentines Day with. I cherish every moment with them now, knowing they will be off to college in a couple years or in the case of parents off to the afterlife. Buying a card for my wife is tough. I don't want to lie, she is not the "best thing that ever happened to me" or my "soul mate." She doesn't "lift my spirits" nor "make my heart sing with joy." I try to walk a fine line between something cute and friendly that allows me to avoid saying "I love you." I don't feel that way right now about her. We're room mates and co-parents by her actions (or lack thereof)
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Post by GeekGoddess on Feb 14, 2017 9:05:54 GMT -5
Seeing as I asked for divorce on Sunday I anticipate a damn depressing Valentines Day. Not the response I feel I would be having. For me: RELIEF that I don't have to "fake it" any more... not with a card, not with anything. THAT is what I resent about the "holiday" while in an SM... the "faking it"! Then please stop faking. Get the roommate status out in the open. Acknowledge that yours is a business partnership for the benefit of the kids. |
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Post by McRoomMate on Feb 14, 2017 12:20:41 GMT -5
I am glad my parents are still alive and I have children at home to celebrate Valentines Day with. I cherish every moment with them now, knowing they will be off to college in a couple years or in the case of parents off to the afterlife. Buying a card for my wife is tough. I don't want to lie, she is not the "best thing that ever happened to me" or my "soul mate." She doesn't "lift my spirits" nor "make my heart sing with joy." I try to walk a fine line between something cute and friendly that allows me to avoid saying "I love you." I don't feel that way right now about her. We're room mates and co-parents by her actions (or lack thereof) FLOWERS ONLY - NO CARD - absolutely. I am just over 1 week from agreeing to a divorce with my W and then we had mad passionate sex within 6 hours - seems like a "RESET" I got her 12 roses and deliberately did not get a card. During our argument which led to the divorce agreement 2 Saturday nights ago (now rescinded). She said she still loved me and I said I had to think about it. Well honestly, I can only say "Deep appreciation" but definitely not "in love" - so no card. I am going to start to be honest with her about my feelings or better, my lack of feelings . .. she must sense this because she does not say anything to me about the "L" word so it must have hit home. My silence might be deafening but I am not going to lie period. |
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Post by McRoomMate on Feb 14, 2017 12:26:09 GMT -5
Not the response I feel I would be having. For me: RELIEF that I don't have to "fake it" any more... not with a card, not with anything. THAT is what I resent about the "holiday" while in an SM... the "faking it"! Then please stop faking. Get the roommate status out in the open. Acknowledge that yours is a business partnership for the benefit of the kids. @geekgoddess "Stop faking . . . Get the roommate status out in the open. Acknowledge that yours is a business partnership for the benefit of the kids." Business partnership for the benefit of the kids. I want to say that over and over again. The courage to say something this HONEST and TRUE as I gaze into both Heart and Mind. Such power in Truth. Destructive and liberating - but TRUE as true can be. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Feb 14, 2017 12:29:30 GMT -5
...when your dad, in his rush to "help," emails both you and your estranged wife all of 1 Corinthians 13.
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Post by shamwow on Feb 14, 2017 12:44:13 GMT -5
...when your dad, in his rush to "help," emails both you and your estranged wife all of 1 Corinthians 13. Is that one that love is patient, love is kind, love from parents means they should mind their fucking business? Sorry for the paraphrase |
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Post by cagedtiger on Feb 14, 2017 12:56:42 GMT -5
...when your dad, in his rush to "help," emails both you and your estranged wife all of 1 Corinthians 13. Is that one that love is patient, love is kind, love from parents means they should mind their fucking business? Sorry for the paraphrase He hasn't gotten that hint the last two times I've told him that either.... |
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Post by shamwow on Feb 14, 2017 13:09:08 GMT -5
Maybe when he wants to talk about it you should just tell him you're not interested until he has your back.
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Post by Carol on Feb 14, 2017 13:46:28 GMT -5
I hate this day. It just reminds me how miserable I am. I made us a very nice dinner over the weekend and we'll go to dinner to a very casual place later tonight so I don't have to cook but that is it. No sex once again. He did get me a bracelet that I wanted which was nice but it was still one of those "what do you want" gifts. I was looking at cards the other day and it made me sick to my stomach. I tried to find the most generic, non sappy card I could find. I couldn't give him something about how much I loved him, how wonderful he is, what a great husband he is, etc. because it's a damn lie. I just spoke to him a couple of minutes ago and he started fishing around for the "Happy Valentines Day" and the I love you" but I didn't bite. The hardest part of all this is there is someone else I wish I could be with today but it would impossible. A totally un-requited love. So once again I will to have to imagine the fantasy instead.
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Post by ggold on Feb 14, 2017 15:13:56 GMT -5
Thumbs down to Valentine's Day!!!!! Why did I even bother looking at Facebook today?  UGH!! The pictures of the couples...bleh! (I'm sure some of them are truly happy. If they are, God bless them!) I got him a gift and cards from the kids. IDK if I'll ever "celebrate" Valentine's Day again. I'd rather celebrate true love, passion, and having a soul connection with my partner ALL YEAR ROUND!!!!! sigh...... |
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Post by McRoomMate on Feb 14, 2017 15:19:46 GMT -5
...when your dad, in his rush to "help," emails both you and your estranged wife all of 1 Corinthians 13. In 1 Corinthians 13, Saint Paul is ONLY speaking about "LOVE" = Translated from the Greek original is "AGAPE" which means DIVINE LOVE . . . Not Romantic Love. In Ancient Greek (the language of Saint Paul's Letters) - there are 4 kinds of Love and all get translated sloppily into English as simply "love". It is lost in translation and cause for confusion. 1. Agape = means the love God has for humanity and the love Humanity can have for God - it has NOTHING to do with romantic love between Husband and Wife in particular. 2. Eros = Erotic love / like Sex 3. Philia = Brotherly Love 4. "Storge" = Affectionate Love between family members - possibly can include long term affectionate love between H and W (debatable). Finally notice that Saint Paul does NOT mention the "LOVE" (agape) between Husband and Wife - go look at 1 Corinthians 13 where is the reference to H and W's Love - there is none because it is about Divine Love "Agape". I would say frankly that 1 Corinthians 13 is NOT appropriate about "Love" (Romantic love or affection in English) when it speaks of Love (Agape: Love as in divine between God and Man) and frankly, your father like many Good Christians is not aware of the nuances of the original Greek that is lost in translation when in English. Here is the Greek / English Interlinear Translation biblehub.com/interlinear/1_corinthians/13.htm |
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Post by cagedtiger on Feb 14, 2017 15:22:02 GMT -5
I think when i get home tonight I'll have to tell the story of my Best Valentine's Day Ever (I was single ) in a Sexually Speaking thread...
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Post by Carol on Feb 15, 2017 0:54:10 GMT -5
I need some advice from all of you out there..... We gave each other V-Day cards. His wasn't a card but a letter telling me how much he loves me, that I'm the only woman for him, that he's sorry for all he's put me through, that he's learned so much in his sex therapy ( it's been one session!) and that he will continue to work to be the husband I deserve. I cried when I read it.
When I gave him my very generic card, his response was "Well, this is interesting. Was this card supposed to be to a husband?"
I guess I'm trying to figure out if he is really sincere or just laying another guilt trip on me? Any thoughts?
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UGH!! The pictures of the couples...bleh! (I'm sure some of them are truly happy. If they are, God bless them!) 
