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Post by eternaloptimism on Jan 19, 2017 16:55:05 GMT -5
a judge will probably say how much I need to pay for his living. But the rent is a different story. We have both signed the contract and even though a judge might think that I don't have to pay it, legally it is half my responsibility. Of course I can stop paying and than it takes several months until stbx gets evicted. But if I am the only one with money, I will probably have to pay for those costs. Stbx probably thinks that I have to keep paying and next time I will again pay as ordered. But I was thinking I could pay for a few months half of the rent, the debt grows slower so that gives stbx more time to do something. but still the end is inevitable. That is something to look at after the next court session in February. I am not going to decide anything now. I think I'll end up with similar issues to you Tamara. We rent in both our names. Although the agents understand I'm the payer! if he won't budge and I end up going, I'll be responsible for the rent too. I need to speak to them to find out for sure what I can do. |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Jan 19, 2017 17:01:02 GMT -5
eternaloptimism - you could ask now, just on the sly, for them to remove his name? You could say it is a credit rating thing or something? Although - they may want him to sign off on that. Still - if you come to a renewal spot, you could make the lease in your name only, maybe. Just as a precaution for future. Even if you aren't going to do anything "soon" on actual separating. It would be one detail that was in the "done" category.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 19, 2017 17:25:57 GMT -5
a judge will probably say how much I need to pay for his living. But the rent is a different story. We have both signed the contract and even though a judge might think that I don't have to pay it, legally it is half my responsibility. Of course I can stop paying and than it takes several months until stbx gets evicted. But if I am the only one with money, I will probably have to pay for those costs. Stbx probably thinks that I have to keep paying and next time I will again pay as ordered. But I was thinking I could pay for a few months half of the rent, the debt grows slower so that gives stbx more time to do something. but still the end is inevitable. That is something to look at after the next court session in February. I am not going to decide anything now. I think I'll end up with similar issues to you Tamara. We rent in both our names. Although the agents understand I'm the payer! if he won't budge and I end up going, I'll be responsible for the rent too. I need to speak to them to find out for sure what I can do. As a landlord, (and not an attorney) here in the good ol' USA, there are different ways to approach this. When I rent a house, there is the part that anyone living there over 18, is responsible for the rent. One of my homes has 4 ladies. One has never worked. The advantage of their combined incomes, is that it qualifies them to afford to pay the rent, 1/3rd of there net income. (So a $1000.oo a month rent needs a $30,000 a yr. income) .All of their incomes have fluctuated over the years. They all signed a one year lease. I have the right to sue all of them if the rent is not paid. Who pays what percentage is left up to them to work out. If any of them choose to move out at any time, their name is still on the one year contract. Two other men have lived there on and off. Family members. The lease says, "guests can stay no longer than two weeks at a time, or they are considered tenants, not on the lease." I do not enforce that. It's not worth it. It has not caused any problems. perhaps you could take this path in the future. Your name only, and your STBX is your guest. Or do not even mention him. That comes with the risk of getting evicted. I do not do monthly. Here in the USA a tenant is allowed to "squat" for months and get away with all kinds of damage. Court dates can be dragged out while the tennant is allowed by law to remain there . However the rent can be changed monthly. Most yearly contracts have a percentage increase built in (2 to 3 % yearly). This covers wear and tear, and tax increases. |
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Post by unmatched on Jan 19, 2017 19:18:58 GMT -5
a judge will probably say how much I need to pay for his living. But the rent is a different story. We have both signed the contract and even though a judge might think that I don't have to pay it, legally it is half my responsibility. Of course I can stop paying and than it takes several months until stbx gets evicted. But if I am the only one with money, I will probably have to pay for those costs. Stbx probably thinks that I have to keep paying and next time I will again pay as ordered. But I was thinking I could pay for a few months half of the rent, the debt grows slower so that gives stbx more time to do something. but still the end is inevitable. That is something to look at after the next court session in February. I am not going to decide anything now. I wouldn't pay half the rent - I don't think you get much benefit from it. From a legal (and landlord's) point of view, you won't be paying half the rent for the next 4 months, you will be paying all the rent for the next 2 months. So if he still refuses to or can't pay, all you are doing is extending the period before he gets evicted, and racking up a longer period of rent that you will be liable for. |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jan 20, 2017 1:17:41 GMT -5
eternaloptimism - you could ask now, just on the sly, for them to remove his name? You could say it is a credit rating thing or something? Although - they may want him to sign off on that. Still - if you come to a renewal spot, you could make the lease in your name only, maybe. Just as a precaution for future. Even if you aren't going to do anything "soon" on actual separating. It would be one detail that was in the "done" category. I should have done that in November really GG but I got swept along into renewing for another year. Grr. I drove past last night when I was shopping but they were closed. I will go in though xx |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jan 20, 2017 1:20:21 GMT -5
I think I'll end up with similar issues to you Tamara. We rent in both our names. Although the agents understand I'm the payer! if he won't budge and I end up going, I'll be responsible for the rent too. I need to speak to them to find out for sure what I can do. As a landlord, (and not an attorney) here in the good ol' USA, there are different ways to approach this. When I rent a house, there is the part that anyone living there over 18, is responsible for the rent. One of my homes has 4 ladies. One has never worked. The advantage of their combined incomes, is that it qualifies them to afford to pay the rent, 1/3rd of there net income. (So a $1000.oo a month rent needs a $30,000 a yr. income) .All of their incomes have fluctuated over the years. They all signed a one year lease. I have the right to sue all of them if the rent is not paid. Who pays what percentage is left up to them to work out. If any of them choose to move out at any time, their name is still on the one year contract. Two other men have lived there on and off. Family members. The lease says, "guests can stay no longer than two weeks at a time, or they are considered tenants, not on the lease." I do not enforce that. It's not worth it. It has not caused any problems. perhaps you could take this path in the future. Your name only, and your STBX is your guest. Or do not even mention him. That comes with the risk of getting evicted. I do not do monthly. Here in the USA a tenant is allowed to "squat" for months and get away with all kinds of damage. Court dates can be dragged out while the tennant is allowed by law to remain there . However the rent can be changed monthly. Most yearly contracts have a percentage increase built in (2 to 3 % yearly). This covers wear and tear, and tax increases. Thanks GC. Useful to know! X |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Jan 20, 2017 7:12:41 GMT -5
eternaloptimism - you could ask now, just on the sly, for them to remove his name? You could say it is a credit rating thing or something? Although - they may want him to sign off on that. Still - if you come to a renewal spot, you could make the lease in your name only, maybe. Just as a precaution for future. Even if you aren't going to do anything "soon" on actual separating. It would be one detail that was in the "done" category. I should have done that in November really GG but I got swept along into renewing for another year. Grr. I drove past last night when I was shopping but they were closed. I will go in though xx Seems worth asking what it would take anyway. Just to know the facts. Good luck! |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jan 20, 2017 8:33:59 GMT -5
GeekGoddess Yeah I deffo need to talk to them. I've been putting it off a bit if I'm honest... I'm nervous about what they might say!
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Post by tamara68 on Jan 20, 2017 8:48:41 GMT -5
Big lesson out of this particular aspect of proceedings is for newbies - and that is - "don't co-sign or act as guarantor for an idiot spouse" Anyway Sister tamara, things are moving. Unfortunate that you have to pay this rent, but by doing so as a result of the judges ruling it is all on the record and will form part of the picture for his ultimate judgement and orders. Reading between the lines the judge seems quite sympathetic to you. This was not possible to avoid, since I am the only one with a salary. So it was either signed by me alone or signed by both. |
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Post by tamara68 on Jan 20, 2017 8:51:28 GMT -5
a judge will probably say how much I need to pay for his living. But the rent is a different story. We have both signed the contract and even though a judge might think that I don't have to pay it, legally it is half my responsibility. Of course I can stop paying and than it takes several months until stbx gets evicted. But if I am the only one with money, I will probably have to pay for those costs. Stbx probably thinks that I have to keep paying and next time I will again pay as ordered. But I was thinking I could pay for a few months half of the rent, the debt grows slower so that gives stbx more time to do something. but still the end is inevitable. That is something to look at after the next court session in February. I am not going to decide anything now. Do NOT pay anything unless ordered to by the court or at the very least, speaking to (and getting approval from) your lawyer. I am waiting till court now. I really hope that will make a change. I am getting very tired and stressed of this all. |
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Post by tamara68 on Jan 20, 2017 8:53:20 GMT -5
a judge will probably say how much I need to pay for his living. But the rent is a different story. We have both signed the contract and even though a judge might think that I don't have to pay it, legally it is half my responsibility. Of course I can stop paying and than it takes several months until stbx gets evicted. But if I am the only one with money, I will probably have to pay for those costs. Stbx probably thinks that I have to keep paying and next time I will again pay as ordered. But I was thinking I could pay for a few months half of the rent, the debt grows slower so that gives stbx more time to do something. but still the end is inevitable. That is something to look at after the next court session in February. I am not going to decide anything now. I think I'll end up with similar issues to you Tamara. We rent in both our names. Although the agents understand I'm the payer! if he won't budge and I end up going, I'll be responsible for the rent too. I need to speak to them to find out for sure what I can do. It is good to do that in advance and ask a lawyer about it. But if your stbx is only half as stubborn as mine, it should eventually be okay. lol |
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Post by tamara68 on Jan 20, 2017 8:56:47 GMT -5
a judge will probably say how much I need to pay for his living. But the rent is a different story. We have both signed the contract and even though a judge might think that I don't have to pay it, legally it is half my responsibility. Of course I can stop paying and than it takes several months until stbx gets evicted. But if I am the only one with money, I will probably have to pay for those costs. Stbx probably thinks that I have to keep paying and next time I will again pay as ordered. But I was thinking I could pay for a few months half of the rent, the debt grows slower so that gives stbx more time to do something. but still the end is inevitable. That is something to look at after the next court session in February. I am not going to decide anything now. I wouldn't pay half the rent - I don't think you get much benefit from it. From a legal (and landlord's) point of view, you won't be paying half the rent for the next 4 months, you will be paying all the rent for the next 2 months. So if he still refuses to or can't pay, all you are doing is extending the period before he gets evicted, and racking up a longer period of rent that you will be liable for. Yes, I have thought about that. But it could be acceptable because it would give stbx a bit more time to find something else, and it would also make it necessary to do something. I won't do this without discussion with my lawyer. |
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Post by tamara68 on Jan 26, 2017 15:03:26 GMT -5
Today I have received the defense and demands of my stbx that is going to be handled in court in 2 weeks.
It is packed with lies and distortion of facts. His alternative facts. It turns my stomach to read all of that. He paints a picture of me as a totally insane and agressive person and he is the poor victim who has always done so much. And he also denies the sexlessness of our marriage! He also denies having OCD. Easy to deny because there is no evidence.
He also demands a lot of money and uses wrong information to give an impression of me earning more money than I do.
And playing innocent, saying my daughter doesn't want to go to my house despite that he suggested that to her.
I find it very hard to not let it get to me.
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Post by baza on Jan 26, 2017 23:01:56 GMT -5
"If" push had come to shove in my old deal and we'd ended up in front of the beak to duke it out in the courts, I would have brought to bear all the shit I had on my missus. Her mental state, the gambling, the drinking, the kleptomania, police records and all.
Under such circumstances of a contested divorce I would want to put my best case forward.
And whereas I wouldn't tell deliberate lies, I might not be all that forthcoming about my own role in the dynamic.
I would certainly have been pushing the barrow that I was the reasonable party in the whole thing.
Your spouses antics might not be terribly honourable, but they are predictable. It is in his interests to try and screw every Euro he can out of you. So you can pretty much rely on him to do whatever he can to achieve that.
Hang in tamara.
You have exhibited great tenacity thus far.
The finishing line is near.
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Post by beachguy on Jan 27, 2017 1:31:14 GMT -5
eternaloptimism - you could ask now, just on the sly, for them to remove his name? You could say it is a credit rating thing or something? Although - they may want him to sign off on that. Still - if you come to a renewal spot, you could make the lease in your name only, maybe. Just as a precaution for future. Even if you aren't going to do anything "soon" on actual separating. It would be one detail that was in the "done" category. I should have done that in November really GG but I got swept along into renewing for another year. Grr. I drove past last night when I was shopping but they were closed. I will go in though xx Too late for you, but just an idle thought... can you be forced, under legal duress, to renew the lease? |
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