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Post by shamwow on Jan 13, 2017 12:55:27 GMT -5
At least you have some friendly companionship next to you. Our dog won't sleep in the same bed as us anymore come to think of it. I guess he feels the bad juju and would prefer the carpet. Right? The dog is way more affectionate and at least will cuddle, lol! Yeah, I think ours is aware of the tension and is saying: "You want me to sleep in the demilitarized zone? Nah, I'm good." |
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Post by jim44444 on Jan 13, 2017 13:43:44 GMT -5
Same queen bed for us. There is plenty of room to not touch but still conducive to cuddling. We have 3 other empty bedrooms so there is no overriding need to sleep in same room except we like to. novembercomingfire, are you saying that you must wear clothes to bed? Is that your choice? I have slept naked since the day we were wed (TMI?), the W about half the time. It would seem that our spouses should get no say on what we wear to bed. |
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 13, 2017 13:57:40 GMT -5
Same queen bed for us. There is plenty of room to not touch but still conducive to cuddling. We have 3 other empty bedrooms so there is no overriding need to sleep in same room except we like to. novembercomingfire , are you saying that you must wear clothes to bed? Is that your choice? I have slept naked since the day we were wed (TMI?), the W about half the time. It would seem that our spouses should get no say on what we wear to bed. Agreed, but yes. Not my choice. It would make her uncomfortable and the kids might come in. SaveSave |
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Post by bballgirl on Jan 13, 2017 14:36:53 GMT -5
Same queen bed for us. There is plenty of room to not touch but still conducive to cuddling. We have 3 other empty bedrooms so there is no overriding need to sleep in same room except we like to. novembercomingfire , are you saying that you must wear clothes to bed? Is that your choice? I have slept naked since the day we were wed (TMI?), the W about half the time. It would seem that our spouses should get no say on what we wear to bed. Agreed, but yes. Not my choice. It would make her uncomfortable and the kids might come in. SaveSaveIf you want to sleep naked then you should get to sleep naked. I'm sure there's a blanket on the bed if the kids come in. Maybe start walking around your house in your boxers to help her assimilate. One thing for her to dictate what she can do with her body but she has no rights to your body if she's not fucking it! |
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Post by shamwow on Jan 13, 2017 14:59:25 GMT -5
Same queen bed for us. There is plenty of room to not touch but still conducive to cuddling. We have 3 other empty bedrooms so there is no overriding need to sleep in same room except we like to. novembercomingfire , are you saying that you must wear clothes to bed? Is that your choice? I have slept naked since the day we were wed (TMI?), the W about half the time. It would seem that our spouses should get no say on what we wear to bed. That's kind of ironic. My wife hasn't slept naked since we got married. Even after sex, she changes back into her clothes before I can get any other ideas. She's faster than Superman in this regard. Honestly, though, I couldn't imagine how frustrated I'd be sleeping naked next to my refusing wife (especially if she was naked half the time too). I'd lose my fucking mind. It's boxer shorts for me, brother. |
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Post by thefullmoon on Jan 13, 2017 15:36:42 GMT -5
Different bedrooms for more than 10 years
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Post by Isabellas39 on Jan 13, 2017 15:49:08 GMT -5
We've had different bedrooms for a few years .
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Post by GeekGoddess on Jan 13, 2017 16:06:57 GMT -5
My Ex and I slept in the same king size bed until near the end. The night-clothes changed along the years. When he got incontinent (only some, not bad - but a byproduct of the prostate removal surgery) he started wearing shorts to bed so he could have the pad on him. When healed though, the shorts stayed. So I added a nightie (longish t-shirt type usually, no longer the silky sort I once had when younger). In between my two clothing extremes, we went years going to bed naked. This works best for temperature control (I have RA and will sometimes get sweats while sleeping if I have a nightie on). His night sweats were signs, at different stages, of having undiagnosed Diabetes and later of undiagnosed prostate cancer.
Anyway - the day I read him my decision and said I was moving to the guest room, he asked if I would stay in the bed that night for one night and then he'd understand that I was moving to the guest room - and I did agree to this. I nearly laughed that night when I got in bed first - donning a silky sort of nightie - and laying on "my" side of the bed....and when he came to the bedroom he kept on gym shorts and climbed in on "his" side - with our very generous demilitarized zone as large as it had ever been. Oh the sentimental fool even leaned over to give me my customary peck on the lips before turning to read his book.
It was a strange twilight zone type of experience - having agreed to spend the night there, I guess I thought it was to cuddle one last time, or at least sleep closer than usual. None of that.
Originally, when we purchased that king size - the point was for rolling around in our romp - but at the end, he was on one far side and I was on the other. And even "one last time" - we were just as far apart physically as ever.
It spoke volumes to me that I had made the right set of decisions. And true to form, I have no idea if he even noticed the symbolism or noted the meaning of it.
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Post by nancyb on Jan 13, 2017 17:26:07 GMT -5
Separate beds for over a decade. It was my preference. I found it too hard to be celibate in bed with him. Once he woke up when I was masturbating and told me to stop shaking the bed. I moved to my own room shortly after that.
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Post by cagedtiger on Jan 13, 2017 18:34:28 GMT -5
She gets upset and takes it personally if I don't sleep in the bed, but she's spent the vast majority of nights in the last year sleeping on the couch or in the spare bedroom.
At least when I wake up in bed without her there, my dog is stretched out next to me, if the cat spent the night inside he's usually on a pillow, and if her dog can make the jump (she's 14 after all), she's usually curled up at the foot of the bed. Or on top of my dog. Or on top of me.
Those rare occasions we have been in the same bed in the last couple of years, we definitely sleep as far apart as possible.
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Post by beachguy on Jan 13, 2017 21:42:50 GMT -5
Nature taking its course in an SM
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Post by obobfla on Jan 13, 2017 21:58:29 GMT -5
Different beds for about six years. Until last year, I slept on the couch - my choice. My wife insisted on taking the side of the bed nearest the door so she could easily get up and go the bathroom. That left me to trip over stuff in the dark getting in and out of bed. Plus, she goes to bed earlier than I do and sleeps in later. She also moves around a lot in bed and takes the covers.
When we moved from a two-bedroom apartment to one with three rooms last year, I set up a room with my computer desk and a twin bed. I now have my own room. She sleeps with one cat, and I sleep with the other. I can stay up late, watch shows on the iPad, and talk to you people while she snores away.
If we're not having sex, there is no reason why we have to share the same bed.
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Post by thebaffledking on Jan 13, 2017 22:28:28 GMT -5
Nope - separate rooms now for over eight years, and THANKFUL for it in hindsight!
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Post by RumRunner on Jan 14, 2017 20:55:13 GMT -5
No and haven't for nearly 20 years. When the relationship went sexless and "was gross" (her words), I didn't feel right sleeping in the same bed. I had moved to a recliner and most recently now sleep in a bed in a camper in which now I can sleep better. We get along most of the time, but it is not that of a husband/wife type of relationship and it will never be.
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Post by Chatter Fox on Jan 14, 2017 21:38:40 GMT -5
We sleep in the same bed. It's always had this odd invisible barrier running up the middle of it. The great wall was constructed the first year or two of our marriage. I'm not sure how, but somehow the division was created. I managed to break down that wall a few years ago. That's when I realized that the wall in the bed could be crushed with a lot of work but the wall around her heart was impenetrable. Now the great wall down the middle of the bed has returned in full force. Partly of my own construction this time. I don't want to touch her if she doesn't want me touching her. For me, I'm thinking I'd prefer an actual real, literal, wall by sleeping in a different room. I think I sleep better when she's not in the same bed as me anyway.
Funny story about this. Back in 2009 or so, I was on a business trip with a coworker. One morning he says to me, "how are you sleeping in an empty bed?". It seemed oddly silly to me. The answer, of course, was "as well as I do with my wife in it". He was telling me how it's hard for him to sleep in an empty bed without his wife by his side. It seemed strange to me that it mattered. To me, it just meant more room to spread out. That was just one eye opening moment for me. I've had many others.
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