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Post by Rhapsodee on Apr 17, 2016 20:25:39 GMT -5
I'm not cursed with a desire to control anyone, but I do have a resistance to being controlled.
I tread my own path. ;-)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2016 21:59:06 GMT -5
I'm not cursed with a desire to control anyone, but I do have a resistance to being controlled. I'm slippery. If you push me, I take evasive action. Corner me and I throw up a wall. What appears to be submission is simply me regrouping. I am who I am. I tread my own path. ;-) And now I'm convinced that you and I were separated at birth! I don't want to be the boss. I don't want to be bossed around, either. In my ideal relationship, the man and I would be united *against* other bossy people! |
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 17, 2016 22:07:16 GMT -5
If everyone just agrees then how the hell is anyone going to have makeup sex??!!! If I knew there'd be makeup sex, I'd probably start the fights... I've never had it either, but I hear it can be amazing! I hear ya!! I've heard the same thing maybe one day. Seriously if I ever have another relationship after our first argument/ disagreement no matter what I will initiate! |
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Post by Rhapsodee on Apr 17, 2016 22:19:55 GMT -5
I've never had makeup sex either. I guess you have to have a passionate love to do that.
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Post by Rhapsodee on Apr 17, 2016 22:21:56 GMT -5
I'm not cursed with a desire to control anyone, but I do have a resistance to being controlled. I'm slippery. If you push me, I take evasive action. Corner me and I throw up a wall. What appears to be submission is simply me regrouping. I am who I am. I tread my own path. ;-) And now I'm convinced that you and I were separated at birth! I don't want to be the boss. I don't want to be bossed around, either. In my ideal relationship, the man and I would be united *against* other bossy people! LOL! |
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 17, 2016 22:23:07 GMT -5
I've never had makeup sex either. I guess you have to have a passionate love to do that. I guess or how's about this: " I'm so glad we made up let's fuck now!" |
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Post by TMD on Apr 18, 2016 11:36:46 GMT -5
Wow. First,thanks for to link to your EP story. Second, I identify strongly with your response. I was raised in a Christian household, which I railed against slightly, and later completely rejected. With the exception that I strongly believed that when I committed to marry, I had to stick to it at all costs. ((Silly me.)) And I was aligned with feminism. Also an error because I lost a balanced perspective for my life. instead of marriage counselling all new couples should be evaluated by the Gottmann Institure for their % of success in marriage. That is evidence enough for any future relationship I might commit to. Wait, you lost me on being aligned with feminism being an error. How does the belief that women are people and should have the same opportunities and responsibilities as men so we can take care of ourselves and our families become an error? I know that was not articulated clearly, Helen. Feminism is NOT an error. However, I think *I* took it to the extreme. That, or I'm far too independent to work well in a relationship. OR I was simply in the wrong relationship. My spouse has always been supportive of my endeavours. He is a fair man. He's gone on record saying, "when you make up you're mind, there's no changing it." But it is not a healthy relationship and my need for independence left him in the dust. Where *I* went wrong is leaving him behind without engaging him in a candid dialogue re: state of affairs in this wreck of a marriage. I thought I had to shoulder it all. And a part of me *thought* that it was my responsibility/right/etc as a feminist. Obviously, somewhere along the way, I feel I either took it to the extreme OR I didn't fully understand the rules/parameters. Because it didn't work. And the biggest lesson learned? TALK and clearly ask for help. Does that make sense? Sort of? ETA that JMX 's post/response about "young" feminists hit the nail on the head. I felt she was talking about me, the person I was when I married the Roommate (although, I'm not whiny). |
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Post by JMX on Apr 18, 2016 11:53:58 GMT -5
Wait, you lost me on being aligned with feminism being an error. How does the belief that women are people and should have the same opportunities and responsibilities as men so we can take care of ourselves and our families become an error? I know that was not articulated clearly, Helen. Feminism is NOT an error. However, I think *I* took it to the extreme. That, or I'm far too independent to work well in a relationship. OR I was simply in the wrong relationship. My spouse has always been supportive of my endeavours. He is a fair man. He's gone on record saying, "when you make up you're mind, there's no changing it." But it is not a healthy relationship and my need for independence left him in the dust. Where *I* went wrong is leaving him behind without engaging him in a candid dialogue re: state of affairs in this wreck of a marriage. I thought I had to shoulder it all. And a part of me *thought* that it was my responsibility/right/etc as a feminist. Obviously, somewhere along the way, I feel I either took it to the extreme OR I didn't fully understand the rules/parameters. Because it didn't work. And the biggest lesson learned? TALK and clearly ask for help. Does that make sense? Sort of? ETA that JMX 's post/response about "young" feminists hit the nail on the head. I felt she was talking about me, the person I was when I married the Roommate (although, I'm not whiny). You explained this better than my vodka-soaked reasoning  |
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Post by TMD on Apr 18, 2016 12:02:23 GMT -5
JMX, Your thoughts were well articulated. And I wonder what it will be like for my daughters -- will feminism be better defined for them? Guess I should get to work on that.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2016 12:31:33 GMT -5
Do you submit? Yes. Every day. You pay taxes. You stay within speed limits.you submit to a police officer.you submit to your boss. You pick up after yourself and put trash away. You submit to your teacher. You submitted to your coach. You submit to your teacher. When you are riding in a car with someone else, you submit to there driving. When you eat food at a restaurant you submit to there cooking. When you buy things at the store you submit to the total at the register. GC, Thanks for opening such a can or worms. You rock dude. And everyone else, thanks for engaging thoughtfully in such a spirited discussion. I've enjoyed this one. The good news for everyone here is that unlike the IRS or Kim Jong-un, submission to God is fully voluntary. You can be your own dog. To choose or choose otherwise. I'd caution anyone that desires any relationship with other human beings (marital, business, or any other kind I can think of) or especially a deity (any of these I can think of) that wants to take a ME-centric or even a "Give and Take" attitude into it to re-think that. You will find it never works, and you will ALWAYS be on the short end of the ledger. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 18, 2016 14:25:21 GMT -5
I'm not cursed with a desire to control anyone, but I do have a resistance to being controlled. I'm slippery. If you push me, I take evasive action. Corner me and I throw up a wall. What appears to be submission is simply me regrouping. I am who I am. I tread my own path. ;-) I would like to point out to you in a loving kind helpful manor, that you just contradicted yourself. I have no desire to control anyone. I resist I am slippery i am evasive i regroup i will tell you , I don't understand, even when you use my own words. you either want to control your environment ( like with your husband, the way he wants to settle down after work) or you want nothing new to happen and you want to be in control of keeping things the same. Do with it what you like. I have read your posts for months. This may be our first disagreement on anything, I remember all the positives! |
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Post by Rhapsodee on Apr 18, 2016 14:30:03 GMT -5
I'm not cursed with a desire to control anyone, but I do have a resistance to being controlled. I'm slippery. If you push me, I take evasive action. Corner me and I throw up a wall. What appears to be submission is simply me regrouping. I am who I am. I tread my own path. ;-) I would like to point out yo you in a loving kind helpful manor, that you just contradicted yourself. I have no desire to control anyone. I resist I am slippery i am evasive i regroup i will tell you , I don't understand, even when you use my own words. you either want to control your environment ( like with your husband, the way he wants to settle down after work) or you want nothing new to happen and you want to be in control of keeping things the same. Do with it what you like. I have read your posts for months. This may be our first disagreement on anything, I remember all the positives! Yup. You're right. I'll need to work on that one. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2016 14:33:32 GMT -5
I've never had makeup sex either. I guess you have to have a passionate love to do that. I guess or how's about this: " I'm so glad we made up let's fuck now!" Ok, this is one of the nicest things I could ever imagine hearing. My refusing cheater used to say she hated to make up. |
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Post by unmatched on Apr 18, 2016 18:22:51 GMT -5
Do you submit? Yes. Every day. You pay taxes. You stay within speed limits.you submit to a police officer.you submit to your boss. You pick up after yourself and put trash away. You submit to your teacher. You submitted to your coach. You submit to your teacher. When you are riding in a car with someone else, you submit to there driving. When you eat food at a restaurant you submit to there cooking. When you buy things at the store you submit to the total at the register. GC, Thanks for opening such a can or worms. You rock dude. And everyone else, thanks for engaging thoughtfully in such a spirited discussion. I've enjoyed this one. The good news for everyone here is that unlike the IRS or Kim Jong-un, submission to God is fully voluntary. You can be your own dog. To choose or choose otherwise. I'd caution anyone that desires any relationship with other human beings (marital, business, or any other kind I can think of) or especially a deity (any of these I can think of) that wants to take a ME-centric or even a "Give and Take" attitude into it to re-think that. You will find it never works, and you will ALWAYS be on the short end of the ledger. What do you mean by the last sentence, with regard to human beings especially? |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2016 18:33:55 GMT -5
What do you mean by the last sentence, with regard to human beings especially? Punctuation. Deities seem especially partial to selfless dedication to others. Particularly after they've created the universe and all. But people are no less demanding. Particularly after they've provided you with context for your miserable existence and all. |
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