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Post by unmatched on Apr 17, 2016 8:21:19 GMT -5
That's not what the article, or Saul of Tarsus for that matter implies. The implication is that it should always be the man who leads and the woman who submits. Why? It could be regarded as a rule of thumb. Kinda like the rule that the Umpire is always right in a tennis match. It saves time and energy!  Seriously? You want to be in a relationship where the rule of thumb is in cases of doubt the man is always right? Why?  ? I get that it saves time and energy but at what cost! |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2016 8:51:55 GMT -5
It could be regarded as a rule of thumb. Kinda like the rule that the Umpire is always right in a tennis match. It saves time and energy! Well, Mathdoll - what a wonderful way to wrap it all up! Yes, ma'am! Yes it makes arguments shorter. What I don't get is why the man is always supposed to be the umpire. You're obviously a strong personality, very smart and creative, not afraid to change course, and solutions oriented. I hate to sound like a motivational speaker at a corporate retreat but you're a natural leader. Which is probably why this article resonated with you. Neither you nor the author are controlling Satanic bitches. You're natural leaders. So, assuming there needs to be a leader and a follower in a marriage, which I question, but say that's the case, I would think the leader should be the one most suited to the role. |
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Post by JMX on Apr 17, 2016 9:01:49 GMT -5
Well, Mathdoll - what a wonderful way to wrap it all up! Yes, ma'am! Yes it makes arguments shorter. What I don't get is why the man is always supposed to be the umpire. You're obviously a strong personality, very smart and creative, not afraid to change course, and solutions oriented. I hate to sound like a motivational speaker at a corporate retreat but you're a natural leader. Which is probably why this article resonated with you. Neither you nor the author are controlling Satanic bitches. You're natural leaders. So, assuming there needs to be a leader and a follower in a marriage, which I question, but say that's the case, I would think the leader should be the one most suited to the role. I think that is a fair point. I guess what I am saying is I don't want to be a leader in all things. I hope my future is connecting with someone that is a natural leader in some respects - in areas I know nothing about or don't excel. I hope that in this respect, my future partner will see that I respect him and his decisions in those areas and in turn, respects me for yielding. I want that reciprocal respect as well in the areas I excel. If both partners feel respected in their relationship, I can only imagine the sex would be hot. My husband has lost my respect and does not respect me. He won't communicate about anything. I may have utterly destroyed it with one mistake I didn't realize would affect him in such a way. Had I realized it from the get go - it wouldn't have happened and I may be in a different position. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2016 10:42:30 GMT -5
Yes it makes arguments shorter. What I don't get is why the man is always supposed to be the umpire. You're obviously a strong personality, very smart and creative, not afraid to change course, and solutions oriented. I hate to sound like a motivational speaker at a corporate retreat but you're a natural leader. Which is probably why this article resonated with you. Neither you nor the author are controlling Satanic bitches. You're natural leaders. So, assuming there needs to be a leader and a follower in a marriage, which I question, but say that's the case, I would think the leader should be the one most suited to the role. I think that is a fair point. I guess what I am saying is I don't want to be a leader in all things. I hope my future is connecting with someone that is a natural leader in some respects - in areas I know nothing about or don't excel. I hope that in this respect, my future partner will see that I respect him and his decisions in those areas and in turn, respects me for yielding. I want that reciprocal respect as well in the areas I excel. If both partners feel respected in their relationship, I can only imagine the sex would be hot. My husband has lost my respect and does not respect me. He won't communicate about anything. I may have utterly destroyed it with one mistake I didn't realize would affect him in such a way. Had I realized it from the get go - it wouldn't have happened and I may be in a different position. It's hard to imagine one mistake so catastrophic that it alone destroyed an otherwise solid marriage. Even if you did something unspeakably evil, which I doubt, was there no attempt at reconciliation and forgiveness? You don't have to drag yourself through it all again and actually answer but just a question to ask yourself. Ok you supposedly did something wrong. Well the wronged has to play a role in fixing it too. |
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 17, 2016 11:13:35 GMT -5
I think i'd grow bored with a woman who always submitted. In ALL things. However, if she "gave" herself to me at times, she would know that by doing that, she "took" me. I know its a bit off topic as the article implies submission in all of life, but sorry, who wants a partner who doesn't challenge? Insecure weak people. Exactly because then the life is like you have another kid instead of a partner and the sex is just boring. |
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 17, 2016 11:13:50 GMT -5
I may have utterly destroyed it with one mistake I didn't realize would affect him in such a way. Had I realized it from the get go - it wouldn't have happened and I may be in a different position. Wildly assuming for the moment that you're right here (though I would be inclined to disagree), from what you describe H has plenty of his own issues which fuel the marital strife. Beware of shouldering all the blame for your current state, just because you're the only one willing to take action. |
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 17, 2016 11:15:00 GMT -5
If everyone just agrees then how the hell is anyone going to have makeup sex??!!!
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Post by JMX on Apr 17, 2016 11:37:19 GMT -5
I think that is a fair point. I guess what I am saying is I don't want to be a leader in all things. I hope my future is connecting with someone that is a natural leader in some respects - in areas I know nothing about or don't excel. I hope that in this respect, my future partner will see that I respect him and his decisions in those areas and in turn, respects me for yielding. I want that reciprocal respect as well in the areas I excel. If both partners feel respected in their relationship, I can only imagine the sex would be hot. My husband has lost my respect and does not respect me. He won't communicate about anything. I may have utterly destroyed it with one mistake I didn't realize would affect him in such a way. Had I realized it from the get go - it wouldn't have happened and I may be in a different position. It's hard to imagine one mistake so catastrophic that it alone destroyed an otherwise solid marriage. Even if you did something unspeakably evil, which I doubt, was there no attempt at reconciliation and forgiveness? You don't have to drag yourself through it all again and actually answer but just a question to ask yourself. Ok you supposedly did something wrong. Well the wronged has to play a role in fixing it too. It is a long (and frankly, silly) story and even though it was an issue, I don't take responsibility for it anymore - it's his issue. Thanks Phin! |
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 17, 2016 12:24:40 GMT -5
Hey whatever floats your boat! For me this was about people, ( men included) that have a strong desire to control. And are against submission of any kind. Don't know why that is so hard to grasp. Maybe Larry Flint is easier to understand. I'll take your more than helpful, very considerate advice, for someone who is struggling with a manipulative controller in a SM. "Picture this. You’re at the mall, and you see a husband and wife who are obviously having an argument. Their body language is terse and their tone is sharp. The wife looks frustrated and angry, as she folds her arms across her chest and turns her back toward her husband. Should you, at that moment, approach this wife and suggest she submit to her husband? I know I wouldn’t. But this is exactly what God does in his Word. When I am the angry, terse wife, crossing my arms—convinced that my husband just doesn’t understand, God whispers softly, “submit.” But often, as that word clanks against my iron will, I bristle. It feels degrading and insulting. I’m to submit, simply because I’m a woman? How can that be right?" This article is not about people in general. It is advice to married Christian women on their Biblical duty to defer to their husband. The "control" here is nothing more than having your own mind and will. That's a bad thing. If that somehow benefits you, very well, but this is the last thing a person of either gender in a SM needs to hear. " But often ,as that word clanks against my iron will, I bristle." She is cursed with the strong desire to control! That is more than having your own mind and will, that is a bad thing. If you read the next article in the series in The Peaceful Wife, you may understand, that no man wants a non thinking, non acting wife! Something else to think about. A person who claims, " hey I agree with everybody, hey I am easy to get along with, hey I will do what ever I am told" is also a " controlling person. " how so!" You ask? The activity of the new disrupts the normal. This disrupts the people who are in control. We don't like being in control. Your in control of yourself when your painting yourself into a corner. Your hanging onto something you love, " normality"! Like that person who for 18 yrs has been going to work and sits in the same cubical, he is in control of it. Please don't talk about things that you don't know about first hand! It's called gossip! You hate to think! I'm sure you buy Penthouse, just for the articles, so it can help you think! |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2016 12:49:28 GMT -5
"Picture this. You’re at the mall, and you see a husband and wife who are obviously having an argument. Their body language is terse and their tone is sharp. The wife looks frustrated and angry, as she folds her arms across her chest and turns her back toward her husband. Should you, at that moment, approach this wife and suggest she submit to her husband? I know I wouldn’t. But this is exactly what God does in his Word. When I am the angry, terse wife, crossing my arms—convinced that my husband just doesn’t understand, God whispers softly, “submit.” But often, as that word clanks against my iron will, I bristle. It feels degrading and insulting. I’m to submit, simply because I’m a woman? How can that be right?" This article is not about people in general. It is advice to married Christian women on their Biblical duty to defer to their husband. The "control" here is nothing more than having your own mind and will. That's a bad thing. If that somehow benefits you, very well, but this is the last thing a person of either gender in a SM needs to hear. " But often ,as that word clanks against my iron will, I bristle." She is cursed with the strong desire to control! That is more than having your own mind and will, that is a bad thing. If you read the next article in the series in The Peaceful Wife, you may understand, that no man wants a non thinking, non acting wife! Something else to think about. A person who claims, " hey I agree with everybody, hey I am easy to get along with, hey I will do what ever I am told" is also a " controlling person. " how so!" You ask? The activity of the new disrupts the normal. This disrupts the people who are in control. We don't like being in control. Your in control of yourself when your painting yourself into a corner. Your hanging onto something you love, " normality"! Like that person who for 18 yrs has been going to work and sits in the same cubical, he is in control of it. Please don't talk about things that you don't know about first hand! It's called gossip! You hate to think! I'm sure you buy Penthouse, just for the articles, so it can help you think! Everyone should bristle at being told they *must* submit. Slaves obey your masters...are slaves being ungodly control freaks when they refuse to obey? I don't know if this woman is a control freak. Her struggle lies in the fact that her strong will and opinions make it hard for her to obey her sacred text's command for wives to submit to their husbands. This article is very esoteric. It is about how to follow the theology of a particular religion. It has nothing to do with anyone who is not in a Christian marriage. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 17, 2016 12:53:20 GMT -5
Here is an example that just occurred at our house minutes ago. ( the only thing this has to do with sex, is that I don't want to be with that person). I just came home with our weekly grocery run. My wife made all six of the teenagers re-arrange and straighten the pantry. She told them, " you need to put things away in there proper places, I will be here every time to supervise that this happens". That's great! Happy days are here again!
However, I was severely criticized for telling my oldest teen, " you need to put things away in there proper places, ie. his shoes all over the floor when he has a shoe wrack, clothes all over the floor when he has a laundry basket." Yet she claims, " he's a teenager, all teens rooms are messy, it's no big deal, it doesn't matter!"
" I did warn him for three weeks that what ever is left on the floor is going in the trash! I followed through with my threat,and she had a fit" the clothes are in the trunk of her car, she claims " he will have to buy them back" . That is very close to what I was doing in the first place. The results are the same. Yet due to a lack of communication, a lack of respect for my decision, A LACK OF SUBMITTING HER CONTROL IN THE LEAST BIT! The divide grows even deeper.
The hypocrisy ticks me off too! I share this hopping to help anyone else who experiences such behaviors.
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 17, 2016 13:02:07 GMT -5
" But often ,as that word clanks against my iron will, I bristle." She is cursed with the strong desire to control! That is more than having your own mind and will, that is a bad thing. If you read the next article in the series in The Peaceful Wife, you may understand, that no man wants a non thinking, non acting wife! Something else to think about. A person who claims, " hey I agree with everybody, hey I am easy to get along with, hey I will do what ever I am told" is also a " controlling person. " how so!" You ask? The activity of the new disrupts the normal. This disrupts the people who are in control. We don't like being in control. Your in control of yourself when your painting yourself into a corner. Your hanging onto something you love, " normality"! Like that person who for 18 yrs has been going to work and sits in the same cubical, he is in control of it. Please don't talk about things that you don't know about first hand! It's called gossip! You hate to think! I'm sure you buy Penthouse, just for the articles, so it can help you think! Everyone should bristle at being told they *must* submit. Slaves obey your masters...are slaves being ungodly control freaks when they refuse to obey? I don't know if this woman is a control freak. Her struggle lies in the fact that her strong will and opinions make it hard for her to obey her sacred text's command for wives to submit to their husbands. This article is very esoteric. It is about how to follow the theology of a particular religion. It has nothing to do with anyone who is not in a Christian marriage. Thank you, you just proved my point! Give some one enough rope..... opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one! |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2016 13:20:11 GMT -5
Everyone should bristle at being told they *must* submit. Slaves obey your masters...are slaves being ungodly control freaks when they refuse to obey? I don't know if this woman is a control freak. Her struggle lies in the fact that her strong will and opinions make it hard for her to obey her sacred text's command for wives to submit to their husbands. This article is very esoteric. It is about how to follow the theology of a particular religion. It has nothing to do with anyone who is not in a Christian marriage. Thank you, you just proved my point! Give some one enough rope..... opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one! Any time, glad to be of assistance. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 17, 2016 13:24:08 GMT -5
If everyone just agrees then how the hell is anyone going to have makeup sex??!!! Your not going to have makeup sex with someone who has a " I am wright, you are wrong, end of discussion attitude". Like the person who is cursed with a strong desire to be in control. Someone who is asexual and sees sex as a weapon to manipulate further control. |
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 17, 2016 13:46:54 GMT -5
If everyone just agrees then how the hell is anyone going to have makeup sex??!!! Your not going to have makeup sex with someone who has a " I am wright, you are wrong, end of discussion attitude". Like the person who is cursed with a strong desire to be in control. Someone who is asexual and sees sex as a weapon to manipulate further control. That person doesn't want sex period! I've never had makeup sex. I only know it exists, maybe one day! |
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? I get that it saves time and energy but at what cost!
