Money, money,money,....MONEY!!!

Fair enough. Again, a forensic accountant will be able to stitch a lot of that together, though it would be awfully handy to have the original computer records, which are likely to have her notes for each transaction - it'll prevent her being able to spin a different explanation later. (i.e., those records contain more info than just the money movement that bank statements can provide; plus they'll go back further in history.)  If she uses products like Quicken, it will also greatly speed an accountant's analysis of money movement to have the original data files.

Yup. My point was about seizure of various personal items (iPad, phone, etc.) - if you take action on the computer, she would probably retaliate in kind just to be an ass.

In some states there's a breakpoint of like 60% custody that becomes financially significant for child support. If she tries to push that threshold, you can rest assured that it's financially motivated, not for love of the kids.

This is a good thing, I'd think, as long as the price is right. It makes for an easy break for you and the kids, and it avoids what is always an ugly mess trying to get the house sold when the party living in it isn't motivated to show it well.

JMX might have some advice for you on this (she's a realtor). Zillow estimates seem to strike me as optimistic, not accounting for the kinds of repairs you see are coming. Their high estimate may be a good number to negotiate from.

This is easily handled - list it all in the assets and let it balance out in the cash settlement. In the grand scheme it sounds like this might be a drop in the bucket for negotiating points, though.

Spoke to a realtor friend today. She said, "Zillow prices can go all over the map, I'll get you an appraisal, and for the rentals as well."

It's good to have connections. It's like a Gyco commercial, "saves you hundreds of dollars."

Back to MONEY issues for the holiday. My STBX has managed to put off me getting any kind of regular funding. I am left with daily digging in to the amount I withdrew at the beginning of the divorce 5 months ago. That money was supposed to remain unspent so It could be divided.

Here's a classic manipulative control issue, she sends me an email asking me, " how do you want to handle buying christmas gifts?".

What's wrong with that? We live in the same house, she can speak to me anytime. I have the oldest hand me down ipad with a cracked screen, it hasn't worked in weeks, her message was 8 days ago. I have no money to replace it. I hardly use emails for anything.

I am so paranoid that anything sent to me on line is her way of setting me up to fall.

Showing that she "communicated" and I don't respond. I am not buying it!! Plus my responses would go digging into her past of controlling Christmas and spending anyways, and my opinion being ruled over.

Then there's the hypocrisy of her latest email. I put some gifts under the tree last night. I limited my spending drastically from in the past. What do I discover this morning, this.....
Her email said, "It is now Christmas Eve and since I haven't heard from you about how you want to handle the presents for the kids, I will go buy something for them so they have something under the tree."

I could have spent thousands on each teenager, and depleted my funding for attorneys. I am not going to buy their love, and do foolish stunts.!

I am not falling for it, or going to respond to it. I will not take the blame for it, like I forced her to wait till Christmas Eve? No......imagine if I ever had that kind of control over her!! I have been watching her take the kids out shopping left and right for days! The kids are asking her for help constantly about getting things for each other! She takes her daddy out shopping.

She sent me an email saying," since I haven't had any input from you on decorating the house, I'm going to go ahead and hang up the Christmas stockings over the fireplace today."

Well....now there are 10 stockings to be filled! Who's going to do that? Who's going to buy all that stuff? (that's a lot of coal!) Just more commercialism, more spending, more "what do I get". And all from emails that I hardly look at! She and the kids probably have a load of things to put in them already.

In a few days it will all be over with! Next year will be different, very different.

Others have far greater problems, thanks for the vent!

I doubt it. If you were the judge, would you care who decorated the house for Christmas? Or whether a divorcing couple was unable to collaborate on Christmas shopping?

I would think you'll get further in your case if you avoid the petty details. The court must get sick of hearing all the bickering and whining.

But, it's an easy question to ask your lawyer if there's any value in you forwarding them to her.

I was sent an email from my STBX's new attorney the other day asking me for supplemental interrogatories. 24 questions. All about money. Money deducted from taxes for rental properties, salaries and hourly wages going back to 1980. Most of my answers where simple. No, No, none, zero, All listed on our tax returns.

My attorney had to email the new attorney stating Florida law telling her that only ten questions can be asked, objecting to the 24 questions, and that any information dating back that far is a breach, and would require subpoenas which my STBX will have to pay for. That ended that. It also showed that her attorney does not know what she's doing, and they are grasping at straws.

My temporary relief, (long overdue) and a request for a speedy trial is coming on 02/28. Finally! The long delay just gives me more evidence to my STBX's behavior, and opportunities to uncover more and more illegal moving of funds.

Congrats on the progress, and good luck!

It seemed really likely at the outset that she was hiding things - what have you discovered?  Have you hired the forensic accountant yet?


Incidentally, I read a story recently about a woman who won a chunk of money in the lottery and immediately filed for divorce.  But she hid the fact that she'd won the lottery.  When it later came out, the court awarded 100% of her winnings to the ex for trying to conceal funds.

True it does get expensive and has not been a black and white issue....yet. There seems to be more waiting, and more proper questions that need answering. When I have spoken to a forensic accountant, and a financial planner, they both advised me to wait. Wait until there's a better understanding of what exact information my attorney will need, and when. It will most likely require information and cooperation from my STBX. That could mean more subpoenas, and interaction with her attorney. Just a trip or two to the bank has uncovered quite a lot, and our tax returns dating 4 to 5 yrs ago will show much of what's needed.

Come tomorrow I hope that my attorney will have a better understanding of what the judge is looking for and we can proceed forward.