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Post by warmways on Oct 6, 2016 18:45:41 GMT -5
Please be safe greatcoastal. Wishing you all the best during this storm. ✨
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Post by greatcoastal on Nov 22, 2016 15:31:26 GMT -5
I got a visitor today. A brighthouse representative came to the house. Our bill is 1 1/2 months due. It's magically now in my name. I have never signed, asked, agreed for brighthouse service (except to call them for repairs when the power goes off) . This affects all nine of us, perhaps me the least. brighthouse says Ms GreatCoastal will have to call them and change the name, that's the only difference we see, it's not your S.S no. it's been in her name since 2011.
That means communicating with my non-communicator. If I am not on here for a few months that will be the reason why.
My STBX a manipulative controller? NNOOOO.....must be brighthouses screw up...yea....that's it.
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Post by bballgirl on Nov 22, 2016 17:09:45 GMT -5
I got a visitor today. A brighthouse representative came to the house. Our bill is 1 1/2 months due. It's magically now in my name. I have never signed, asked, agreed for brighthouse service (except to call them for repairs when the power goes off) . This affects all nine of us, perhaps me the least. brighthouse says Ms GreatCoastal will have to call them and change the name, that's the only difference we see, it's not your S.S no. it's been in her name since 2011. That means communicating with my non-communicator. If I am not on here for a few months that will be the reason why. My STBX a manipulative controller? NNOOOO.....must be brighthouses screw up...yea....that's it. I would call BrightHouse and demand that they change it back if it's not your SSN. What if she called and wanted it changed to Mickey Mouse? Would they have put that name on the account? I would tell the cable company that they do not have your authorization for your name and if they don't change it back then they will hear from your attorney for fraud. I would also say that to your bitch wife! I'd suggest her body being dumped in that wildlife refuge up the road from you but her having to give you an alimony check for life is trumps that! |
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Post by greatcoastal on Nov 22, 2016 17:16:05 GMT -5
After the brighthouse visitor, and going through another mediation postponement from my STBX changing lawyers just 4 days before mediation, another crazy holiday coming up, I get in the car thinking about it all ,and I hear the song "Roll With It". The right music at the right time!
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Post by greatcoastal on Nov 22, 2016 18:23:00 GMT -5
I got a visitor today. A brighthouse representative came to the house. Our bill is 1 1/2 months due. It's magically now in my name. I have never signed, asked, agreed for brighthouse service (except to call them for repairs when the power goes off) . This affects all nine of us, perhaps me the least. brighthouse says Ms GreatCoastal will have to call them and change the name, that's the only difference we see, it's not your S.S no. it's been in her name since 2011. That means communicating with my non-communicator. If I am not on here for a few months that will be the reason why. My STBX a manipulative controller? NNOOOO.....must be brighthouses screw up...yea....that's it. I would call BrightHouse and demand that they change it back if it's not your SSN. What if she called and wanted it changed to Mickey Mouse? Would they have put that name on the account? I would tell the cable company that they do not have your authorization for your name and if they don't change it back then they will hear from your attorney for fraud. I would also say that to your bitch wife! I'd suggest her body being dumped in that wildlife refuge up the road from you but her having to give you an alimony check for life is trumps that! I gave brighthouse a call earlier. I always have sympathy for the employee at the other end. I try to be polite and respectful. She did apologize, and seemed puzzled by it. I explained that the divorce is in the works. Somehow I am the "second " name on there, but my S.S no. is no where to be found, nor should it be,whatever that means. She mentioned a copy of the contract, going back to 2011,and if I could find the big green piece of paper. She still left me with "we can't change it unless we have her permission"., "she will have to call here". The bill is for $196. I only half want to mention it to my STBX. Right now the only thing I really need brighthouse for is my attorney reaching me. That could all be done by phone. Now, what affect would it have on the rest of the family?? Imagine my teens not having their screens? They would all be running for their friends houses! I would sit back and say," I don't know what happened, ask your mom, she's responsible for paying for it". There is also the fact that our mediation is coming up on Dec. 2nd. A fine time to bring up the name change, and the lack of payment? Every phone call to my attorney costs money, probably more than the brighthouse bill. Money that is ours to later be divided. Another learning experience. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 2, 2016 21:01:17 GMT -5
We had our first mediation today. My head goes in so many directions from what happened. Where to begin, how much to tell?
Well,very little progress was made. We came to an impasse. Money. So much is revolving around the money. My STBX's new attorney is trying to over litigate this case. those where the words from my attorney. Our mediator seemed to be doing a fair, honorable job. The man has 33 yrs experience as an attorney and has mediated over 600 cases. My attorney literally had to ask him with all sincerity, "is this the attorneys first marital divorce case? Can you take her out side of the room away from her client and explain the law to her?
I was not expecting that at all! My attorney said," now I know why your wife fired her other attorney, "J" would have told her like it is, straight up front, and she didn't want to hear that." "this is going to be over litigated.
The mediator came back in our room, and started with "your not going to like this, before you get upset with me, before you start lashing back, they want, such and such amount, from the first two years of 401k before they were married, blagh, blagh, blagh,...your not writing any of this down? your not accepting this? My attorney knows it is the most trivial nothing, that no judge is going to accept it,again she is questioning this attorney. I had to say, "I felt sorry for my wife." Yet there I go again. This was her choice, she threw away a good attorney.
Last moment I decided to get my inheritance papers from 5 yrs ago together, along with bank deposit statements. All things that I blindly left up to my wife to take care of and put in the bank. This brought up a whole lot of new un-answered questions involving $170,000. Not something you just give up on. 5yrs is not that long ago. The paper trail exists. My attorney is going to work on it. This involves all the money for rental homes leaving another $120,000 un-answered for.
My STBX is wanting to buy out the house and remain there. Part of the problem is that the house was purchased with......my inheritance money, without my knowledge. I always thought the money came from the sale of the other house. Which brings up the question, where did that money go?
There are also patents not shown. Meanwhile my STBX changed the cable bill to my name with her 6 digit income, me un-employed for 18 yrs, and her refusing to deposit any money for household expenses.
We barely got to talk about the time schedule for the kids. I suggested one week on, one week off. That got complicated a bit too by a lot of un-necessary litigation from her attorney.
Next step is to set a temporary relief hearing and go to trial. There may not be anymore meditations.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 2, 2016 21:38:50 GMT -5
I hope (and pray) that you've got truly tenacious legal representation and have the good fortune to get a reasonable and well experienced judge hearing your case. It sounds like its going to be an absolute shit-storm of a divore right up until the last moment just before the legal proceedings arr all over. Wishing you the strength and patients to make it through to the other side. Thanks friend! Patience comes from trials and tribulations. being married to a manipulative controller for 24 yrs., having my FIL live with us for 9 yrs, six children, I should be one of the most patient people on the planet! Going to keep lifting those weights too! |
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 3, 2016 8:36:01 GMT -5
Good luck GC. I hope this gets resolved quickly.
Trial may be the easiest way. Let a judge decide and hope he's fair.
You would think a 50/50 split of all assets would keep it simple.
The one week on and off keeps it simple with the kids too.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 3, 2016 9:06:49 GMT -5
Good luck GC. I hope this gets resolved quickly. Trial may be the easiest way. Let a judge decide and hope he's fair. You would think a 50/50 split of all assets would keep it simple. The one week on and off keeps it simple with the kids too. You would hope or think so. But in proving the amount of money remaining, or invested starts to uncover how much of the $170,000 inheritance money, was shifted to other banks, and spent on our own house deposit. Opening the door even wider to question where did that money go to? A thousand here a thousand there not worth squandering over. A hundred thousand, and more, egh... not so fast. |
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Post by becca on Dec 3, 2016 17:23:54 GMT -5
I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. I am just sorry after all the waiting and postponements that this is how it went. It is going to be so much more costly in the end when you are just wanting what is fair for you, her and the kids.
The good news is if you had any doubts at all, her behavior during this entire ordeal should let you know you absolutely made the right decision. For the sake of everyone, I hope it is resolved quickly. Hang in there!
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Post by JonDoe on Dec 3, 2016 18:07:51 GMT -5
I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. I am just sorry after all the waiting and postponements that this is how it went. It is going to be so much more costly in the end when you are just wanting what is fair for you, her and the kids. The good news is if you had any doubts at all, her behavior during this entire ordeal should let you know you absolutely made the right decision. For the sake of everyone, I hope it is resolved quickly. Hang in there! Divorce is almost never fair. Why should one spouse have to pay alimony for the rest of his or her life to guarantee the standard of living for the ex-spouse? I can see paying for a few years to help the other spouse make necessary adjustments, but I do not agree with our current laws. What standard of living did she provide to me for all these years? I'll end up paying thousands every month to my STBX for a very long time. Each month she'll get a nice fat alimony check and I'll get a swift kick in the nuts. I haven't finished the process yet, but one of the remaining items on the list is life insurance. Life insurance policies are often used to secure alimony. So I have to maintain a life insurance policy so she can continue to collect in the event of my demise? WTF? Who wrote these fucking arcane laws? |
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Post by DryCreek on Dec 3, 2016 18:09:44 GMT -5
greatcoastal - repeating an old suggestion... hire a forensic accountant. If you don't you're almost guaranteed to get cheated out of much more than the accountant would cost. You don't know where the money has flowed, nor whether she's disclosing all the accounts and assets. And it will be greatly to your advantage if any of her actions are found to be inappropriate / unlawful.
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Post by DryCreek on Dec 3, 2016 18:14:44 GMT -5
So I have to maintain a life insurance policy so she can continue to collect in the event of my demise? WTF? Who wrote these fucking arcane laws? Seriously? There's no legal requirement for you to have life insurance while you're married, but now that you're divorced you have to? And it gets crazy expensive as you age. If you have any latitude to argue, I'd say there's a legitimate case that she should be allowed to buy a life insurance policy against you, but at her own expense. That's not a reasonable burden for you to bear. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 3, 2016 18:47:36 GMT -5
greatcoastal - repeating an old suggestion... hire a forensic accountant. If you don't you're almost guaranteed to get cheated out of much more than the accountant would cost. You don't know where the money has flowed, nor whether she's disclosing all the accounts and assets. And it will be greatly to your advantage if any of her actions are found to be inappropriate / unlawful. That floats around my mind, a lot. My attorney was open to hiring an accountant from the beginning. It was a wait and see if it's necessary. Since my STBX had full control over so much off the finances, the trail is on the computer. This mediation opened the door to a deeper investigation of the handling of inheritance money and all other accounts that were put in her name only without my consent, or knowledge. Sound like an accountant will be the next step. I'm sure my attorney has used several. The more she nitpicks over small amounts that she claims belongs to her, the more it reveals large amounts that exist without my knowledge. So far all it's taking is bank statements, and tax forms to expose more than just money. My attorney took advantage of the evidence to tell the moderator of the cancelling of credit cards, and moving household billls to my name. Great to hear from you! |
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Post by DryCreek on Dec 3, 2016 19:30:06 GMT -5
greatcoastal, there was a case I recall where a suspecting spouse seized her husband's work laptop (in her case, looking for evidence of cheating). It caused him much trouble in trying to continue operating the business, but it turned out she was entirely within her legal rights. The interesting detail is that he was self-employed, making his laptop a marital asset and not an employer-owned asset. You are in the same boat. Aside from the forensic accountant, consider taking relevant computers to a pro and having the hard disks duplicated for examination, then subpoena her for passwords to any financial records (Quicken, QuickBooks, etc.). This could be done in the course of a day if you arrange it in advance and not have a great impact on her. Yes, it's an offensive move, by more than one definition. But if you don't do this, you're subject to the info she chooses to provide, on the timeline she chooses to deliver it. It also gives her opportunity to delete inconvenient records. Having been on the other side of this table, if one is willing to defy court orders, there is much they can hide. But, of course, this opens Pandora's box and may subject you to similar actions, so beware. As always, act on the advice of your lawyer.
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