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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 24, 2018 15:20:45 GMT -5
Well the last item was moved from the house today. Their is no more reason to return.
Before I tell my little story of moving the washer and dryer I just want to say, "it's just so sad and comical to watch her behavior and realize she doesn't know how blatantly ridiculous she sounds!"
An old friend was over the house to help me wheel out the washer and dryer after the gas man was there to cap things off.
My ex stood a couple of feet away as I unhooked and unplugged things. once we got outside I said to my friend," did you see her there watching everything? what else does she think I'm going to do?" What else am I going to do, take a bottle of fabric softener? Never mind that I could have written down and split every last article like that.
Then we went back in to take the washer. I needed to get some duct tape so the cord would not be in the way, (I left plenty of tape with her, you can never have enough duct tape) I come back in, and she is in the room with her head behind the washer telling my friend where to disconnect the hoses!
I had my back turned to her as I disconnected the hoses and she said, " those hoses are not part of the washer and dryer, you said specifically you wanted the washer and dryer, you never mentioned the hoses".
I just remained quit I could barely hold back the laughter, I had a smirky grin on my face. I was thinking, "you foolish bitch! don't you even realize how petty and childish you are being, having to feel like you are always the winner, always in control, that something, anything, HAS to be your way, and your way only? I left you with an abundance of things and you HAVE to bicker over two little hoses?"
It got worse. The next hose was connected with a clip to the washer and went into the wall. She insisted that the clip comes off. My friend spoke up and reminded her, " it's part of the washing machine, it comes with it". Then he backed off and said,"it's up to you weather you want it or not?" My back was turned to her and I said,"we will take it with us".
My other friends hear that and they say," that's just like her to do that".
It's done!! Finally!!
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Post by hopingforachange on Apr 24, 2018 18:06:18 GMT -5
Really she was fighting over $20 hoses. She will get a new set with the new washer and dryer anyways. 😂🤣😂🤣
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 24, 2018 20:13:07 GMT -5
greatcoastal, just chuckle to yourself and imagine karma bursting one of those hoses and her scrambling to stop the flooding after she was so petty about keeping them. Considering that she almost certainly screwed you on the asset split, you'd think that *somewhere* she'd reach a point of satisfaction, where she didn't feel the need to dominate the minutiae. Let it go, woman. She sounds likely to die from self-induced stress before anything else. Speaking of which, update all your beneficiaries on bank accounts, will, life insurance, retirement funds, etc. Then be a whole lot more chill than her. You succeeded. You're free.
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Post by baza on Apr 24, 2018 20:22:36 GMT -5
I was half thinking that you could have shown what a highly fair minded bloke you are, by draining the residual water out of the hoses and put it in a bucket and solemnly presented her with "her" water.
How to ensure she gets her right whack out of the air in the house might be harder to handle. Maybe you could run a vacuum cleaner into a large plastic bag and present her with "her" air too.
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 28, 2018 6:05:03 GMT -5
Another unforeseen solvable problem has emerged. It takes 6 to 8 weeks for the public school system to transfer my kids to another bus after we have moved.
I thought it would take a day. No attorney, judge ,or neighbor informed me of this until I went to the school to get the paperwork.
1) The paperwork. I needed to bring my copies of my dissolution of marriage. It then has to be faxed to the county school system for review. (It wasn't like that back in my day. You just got on another bus and rode over to friends houses, if there wasn't enough seats you where alowed to stand about 12 people in the isle!)
2) we only moved two miles away, my daughter may end up riding the same bus. It still takes 8 weeks.
3) The lady at the school was very understanding. She thought the school system was way behind the times, for it to take that long.
4) Even If I had attempted to put in the paperwork 8 weeks (or more) in advance, I had no idea which house I was going to end up buying,when the closure on the house would happen, when the move in date was going to be, or when the court case would finally be over, and if the parenting plan would remain the same.
5) Fortunately their is only 3 more weeks of school left until summer vacation. If I insist that our first day of having the kids live with me, start with the even weeks I will only have to deliver my daughters to the school (or two miles down the road to their other bus stop) for one week.
6) Right now I have the time. My goal and plans are to enroll in school 5 days a week. Taking my kids to school ends all that. Postponing school for another 3 weeks. This postpones and delays my loan application. I only have a small time frame or I am out about $20,000 due to withdrawal fees from my IRA. Another unforeseen problem that might be fixable.
7 ) I'm working on it! At least the following school year all will be well for transportation.
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Post by baza on Apr 28, 2018 6:45:35 GMT -5
These are most vexatious problems that have been thrown up for you to solve Brother greatcoastal . But for all their complexity and annoyance, they are waaaay better problems to have than being in an ILIASM shithole. And, from your empowered position as a single bloke without the dead weight of a dud spouse around your neck, you will - and are - handling them well. |
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Post by hopingforachange on Apr 28, 2018 7:27:10 GMT -5
greatcoastalDon't take, it takes 8 weeks bullshit line from the administration. Walk into the school and ask who your need to talk to, to speed up the process. The transfer process should take under a week, usually it is immediately.
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Post by hopingforachange on Apr 28, 2018 7:30:10 GMT -5
I would be tempted to drive them to thier be school on Monday and do the registration right then and there. It should take guidance only an hour to figure out the class schedule.
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 28, 2018 7:35:13 GMT -5
I would be tempted to drive them to thier be school on Monday and do the registration right then and there. It should take guidance only an hour to figure out the class schedule. I'm going to be there Mon. with paper work in hand. My fear is I will have to drop it off and wait. One child one seat for the remaining one week of school, two miles away from the other bus, why does that have to be so difficult? |
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 28, 2018 9:50:35 GMT -5
greatcoastal, thinking outside the box... for only a week of need, virtually any transportation option would be cheaper than the penalty you're trying to avoid. Hire someone trusted (perhaps a sibling who isn't under Mom's thumb), a friend, or an Uber if you feel the kids are old enough. Even a private car service would be cost-effective.
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Post by greatcoastal on May 1, 2018 9:17:05 GMT -5
My fears and worries of 8 weeks to get my daughter on the bus turned into a mild concern. However it did take action on my part. It's interesting what two different people who work in the same department can tell you? (that's a whole nother thread!!)
In less than 24 hrs. my daughter is approved for two buses, and it will continue into her next school year and for her younger sister. The bus stop at my new home is 6 houses down the street!
Why did 8 weeks turn out to be less than 24hrs? I asked. I was told " Not sure why she told you that, a lot has to do with the time of year. You chose a good time near the end of the school year."
It's nice to share some good news!I hope it gets even better, my daughter is the kind who will make even more new friends to have over the house in her new neighborhood.
We did get a nice bike ride out of it together, timing how long it would take and where to put her bike.
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Post by saarinista on May 1, 2018 14:46:09 GMT -5
Bureaucracy! Ugh. It never hurts to suck up to multiple bureaucrats, though. If you don't like what one tells you, talk to another one, greatcoastal. Sorry about the bumps along the way, but I'm quite certain you're going to be fine. As for your boys, well. boys will be boys. I'll throw those urchins on my prayer list and ask God to grant them wisdom. It's all good! By the way, if you give her a bag of "her" air back in a plastic bag, be sure to heat it up with a hair dryer first. (smirk) Just kidding, don't do that, but it would be tempting, eh? |
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Post by greatcoastal on May 1, 2018 14:53:25 GMT -5
Bureaucracy! Ugh. It never hurts to suck up to multiple bureaucrats, though. If you don't like what one tells you, talk to another one, greatcoastal . Sorry about the bumps along the way, but I'm quite certain you're going to be fine. As for your boys, well. boys will be boys. I'll throw those urchins on my prayer list and ask God to grant them wisdom. It's all good! By the way, if you give her a bag of "her" air back in a plastic bag, be sure to heat it up with a hair dryer first. (smirk) Just kidding, don't do that, but it would be tempting, eh? Maybe I'll take the dog for a run in the ocean and the beach before I return him! LOL  (poodles hold a lot of sand!) |
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Post by greatcoastal on May 6, 2018 15:49:49 GMT -5
My 3 teens will be coming to spend their first week with me in the next hour. I'm nervous
and happy at the same time. It really shouldn't be all that different than life at the other house. There was so much that I DID as the "house Dad" that will come natural...yet still?... This is all new.
My teens have seen the house and had a voice in choosing it, however it's been all me getting it ready over the last two weeks.
So many things that you don't bring with you after a divorce. I started with an empty fridge, pantry, cleaning supplies, no pillows (19 of them, who knew?) pots , pans, silver ware, cups, etc.....
The things I've been buying lately! I'm proud of my savings (yard sales, thrift stores, WalMart,Biglots, Aldis) yet the money sure goes fast!
I don't expect my teens to notice how prepared I have everything for them. I wan't their transition to be a smooth one. I must confess, their is a sence of 'competition' going on.
My teens have told me, "mom has us straightening and cleaning everything". It would be so, so tempting to say, "that's just like your mom! Has she done anything, or just direct?. Where are your older brothers during all this? Has she replaced anything yet? Is she going to spend anything on you? Is she feeding you? Are you still having to do things for grandpa? etc...
Instead I'm doing my best to not coerce them into thinking they constantly have to report negatives every time we are together. Instead , if all goes well In the next few days ,that will be a big enough compliment. can't expect my teens to say, " wow, Dad you got everything ready, it's all so nice and organized, and clean, thank you!"
Instead I believe time will show them more of that, and the less stress in my household.
Part of me is too concerned with, "what are we all going to do together? But I expect them to retreat to their rooms and continue with their teen independence ie( their cell phones).
PS. It's the dogs first day too! They tell me he has been staying in his crate acting very lonely, sad and confused. He is going to have a much bigger yard to run around in, like never before!
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Post by northstarmom on May 6, 2018 17:10:13 GMT -5
Greatcoastal, it is wonderful that you are making the transition to your place easy for your kids.
Now that you’ve prepared your house for them, what will their responsibilities be in terms of maintaining your home’s orderliness?
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(poodles hold a lot of sand!)
