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Post by obobfla on Jul 9, 2016 14:44:08 GMT -5
I would join you, but I think I joined the wrong running organization
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Post by obobfla on Jul 8, 2016 20:47:59 GMT -5
Glad to have you around, Rob. I am in Florida now, but I remember the Jersey shore when I was a kid.
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Post by obobfla on Jul 8, 2016 16:37:53 GMT -5
unkakris, it sounds like your wife has both medical and emotional issues, and her son is not helping at all. I am in the same situation with my wife, as she is seriously mentally ill. Her fears and anxieties have killed our sex life, and I am trying to find a graceful exit. In the meantime, I have used this group and other support groups for help. If you have trouble confronting your wife, you may seek out CODA. For mental and emotional issues, I highly recommend giving your local NAMI chapter a call. I also take some time for myself when I can, even if it means finding someone else. It's like when you are on an airplane - you give yourself oxygen first before you give it to others. Otherwise, you would kill both of you. The same goes for caregivers.
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Post by obobfla on Jul 6, 2016 22:14:27 GMT -5
"Dear, why do you keep renaming the bird?" Hilarious!! Or How many birds are you going to buy? I think I'm going to get me some fish. I can have a whole bunch of names. I wonder if my wife will think it strange that all the fish have female names?
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Post by obobfla on Jul 6, 2016 21:40:35 GMT -5
As a side branch to this thread, I'd like to know how people get over the depression that comes with LIASM, while still living in it? Most of us don't sound like we would be " the happiest, most jubilant person to be around". Perhaps I speak only for a few. I know the amount of recovery time has been discussed. How many discovered that (outsourcing/sex/relationship) is something they are not going to be ready for until long after the divorce? I outsource!
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Post by obobfla on Jul 6, 2016 18:21:56 GMT -5
Funny, I do like the pleasure of my own company over others. I have no qualms about doing things by myself. Going to restaurants or out to a movie by myself is no big deal.
But when I was single, I had nightmares about dying alone. I would get a panic attack in the middle of the night and wonder who would call the hospital if it were a real heart attack. Then I got married. As I have said many times here, I needed to go to the emergency room twice last year, and both times my wife was reluctant to take me.
While I like my space, I want somebody there. Maybe it's because I come from a big family and have always been used to having people around. I can handle having sex with only one person. But I chose wrong the last time, and this time I want to be sure to get it right.
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Post by obobfla on Jul 3, 2016 17:30:23 GMT -5
Caris, I have had plenty of platonic female friends. At first, I may have wanted to sleep with some of them. But I am glad I didn't. Having a platonic friend of the opposite sex has been one of the best experiences of my life. When I got married, I did not give them up. My wife had to accept them if she was going to accept me. How have I kept them platonic? We've gotten to know each other so well that we wouldn't want a sexual relationship. It wouldn't work. We would end up hating each other. But we can talk about sex, relationships, and other matters. Trust me, I have learned a lot from them. I understand why you would want to wait on getting into a relationship, and I don't blame you. But if you make friends, let your friends know what you want. Just don't expect any princes to come rescue you and live happily ever after. Work on being happy for a day first.
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Post by obobfla on Jul 3, 2016 16:56:49 GMT -5
wewbwb is absolutely right, @andie . Short, declarative statements like with "Please do xyz" work best with men. In every situation. It's communication with men 101. Just like a pooch. Sad, but true. LOL I have the milk bones ready for reward. Bacon works wonders in regards to men, especially since yours doesn't respond to sex.
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Post by obobfla on Jul 3, 2016 9:50:46 GMT -5
@andie, this will let you know one way or another to stay in your marriage. I had been sitting on the fence before I need to go to the emergency room twice last year. The fact that I had to beg my wife once and call an ambulance on the other, that convinced me that she was not the right woman to grow old with. You need someone to be there. If your husband can't be there, find another.
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Post by obobfla on Jul 1, 2016 18:31:25 GMT -5
I forgot she was Canadian too!
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Post by obobfla on Jul 1, 2016 17:04:08 GMT -5
I can get into Canadian music
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Post by obobfla on Jul 1, 2016 16:43:40 GMT -5
Happy Canada Day to our friends in the Great White North! Thanks for the music (except for Justin Bieber)
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Post by obobfla on Jul 1, 2016 16:30:44 GMT -5
I have not slept in the same bed as my wife for almost 5 years. She snores, moves all over the bed, and steals the covers. Not even the cat sleeps with her.
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Post by obobfla on Jun 29, 2016 18:42:40 GMT -5
tamara68, how far are you away from Geel. I have heard there are some excellent psychiatric facilities there. Perhaps there is some family support organizations there as well.
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Post by obobfla on Jun 29, 2016 11:28:55 GMT -5
Salon does sensationalize, but I sort of get the article's point. What the article sees as narcissism is actually someone's inability to connect or relate with other people. I see it a lot with severely mentally ill people, including my wife. She is so overwhelmed by her illness that she can't see what others want or need. We all have a little bit of that, but those of us who are emotionally healthy can relate to others. My wife and those like her can't.
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