I think the sexuality of human beings is both very complex and very versatile. Tori, if your hubby was attracted to men but did not act on those desires and was committed to you and showed you love, affection and gave you pleasure, he would be a good man. Maybe bi, maybe even gay, but a good man. And, maybe a keeper. If he acted on the desires, but then changed and embraced monogamy with you - he'd be a flawed man who changed for the better, and worth [though not entitled] to be forgiven. It would be your call.
You are a victim, no question. You have our support.
He is also a victim. But for his upbringing and version of Christianity that is frankly not Christian , he might have a happy life married to a man.
Edging is getting very trendy among guys in the internet era. They sit down, drink in the stimuli, teasing themselves. It makes the sensations last, and last. Gives a guy a good dopamine fix. Like so many things, it could be a bad thing or a good thing. For a guy with PE who does this with the help of his wife, it might help make him last longer.
Just go on chaturbate. A bunch of horny guys [and a few ladies] in sexless marriages trying to get their fix. Its very easy to become bi-erotic too.
Its a case of making the best out of things. And, its a two-way street. Tis the season for sinus colds - and the medication, well the headaches are gone but now I couldn't fulfill my "husbandly-duty" anyway.
If I could do it over, I would have had a heart-to-heart talk with my now wife when we were dating and had become serious. As in, we're having lots of sex now and its awesome, but what do we do if and when things change and one of us wants it and the other does not - long term. Of course I don't expect sex when one is sick. Or pregnant where miscarriage is a real possibility. Or tired. But where there is no interest long term - what's the plan?
In my case, by me no longer requesting sex, my wife has become closer. When I would ask and she would say no, we were on edge. Now that I am in sexless marriage acceptance mode, we kiss, snuggle and are close. I love that. The marriage overall has improved a lot. I have changed my expectations and since sex is no longer expected she feels she can allow herself to get close. If my libido crashed, I'd call it a perfect marriage. But, with my libido high, its tough. But, I'd rather have zero sex and be "close" than sex 4 to 6 times a year and be distant. I can survive without sex, I have to have some level of intimacy.
I always considered myself a big fan of monogamy and where a marriage is sexually functioning well its the way to go. But, what if the marriage is otherwise solid but the sex is broken? Yes, you can try to fix it, but what if a refuser is happy not having sex - wants it that way. What if you are great friends, kiss and snuggle, share a life and a bed, but she won't got beyond kissing and cuddling.
Thus, I have an open mind.
If I were young, marriage minded, shopping around [lol] for a wife e.g. dating and starting to get serious, maybe I'd want to have a discussion about a bunch of "what ifs".