|
Post by worksforme2 on May 16, 2023 7:16:16 GMT -5
I think you mean 0.2ml You are correct. Typo error,....
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on May 10, 2023 9:15:14 GMT -5
Thanks. that is real helpful advice. Something else recommended by my urologist is a device somewhat like a cockring, it does seem to be pretty effective. www.xialla.comI don't know about this device for me. I don't (haven't) had an issue with leakage. I have always been somewhat long winded when it comes to an erection. I usually take 30-45 minutes to ejaculate, ocassionally longer. I have had partners that didn't enjoy going for that long. So I am thinking for me the issue is if I don't ejaculate I am going to need a mechanism to make the erection go down. It can be both a blessing and a curse.
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on May 9, 2023 13:44:25 GMT -5
That is really interesting, thanks for sharing. I actually got a prescription for tri-mix last week, tried out the (Dr Recommended) dose of .2ml, worked like a charm and got a boner of hardness I haven't seen for quite some time. I did ejaculate OK (well sort of, I tend to shoot blanks these days) and boner went away right after. (This was a solo session btw, purely as an experiment as I was super curious to see how well it worked ) I intend to try it with my lady friend either today or tomorrow and I think I will increase the dose a little, possibly up to .25 ml. I am hoping this is the answer as Viagra and Cialis have both had minimal effect. Sounds like you are doing well. Did your doctor say anything about Sudafed or Sudogest or other medications if your erection does not want to go away. Also if that happens an ice pack applied to the erection or just below the scrotem is supposed to be effective. I have read that a cold shower also works. IAt my age (74) a dose of 2ml is appropriate, but that doseage is way too much for me, as is 1.5 ml it seems. I will be trying a dose of .5ml later this week to see how that goes. If you want to keep some Sudafed or Sudogest aroung just in case, it's really cheap Just be sure you get the medication that is behuind the counter that you have to sign for. Don't get the stuff that is on the shelf with all the other otc cold medicines.
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on May 9, 2023 6:34:36 GMT -5
Correct, I am trying the injectable form. Figureing out the correct dosage is taking considerable time. Not concerned about my partner being in contact with this medication. But there are other considerations. Haing a prolonged erection (over 4 hrs) can be damaging to the penis, possibly resulting in losing the ability to have an erection. So the amount of foreplay time, oral sex for her time all weigh into it. Information about how long it takes to loose the erection is really scarce. Nothing so far as to does ejaculating help the erection go down or not. I am probably going to have to see the Urologist again to get my questions answered. Nitroglycerin therapy is something I haven't heard of and the Urologist didn't mention it in either of our meetings. I will read up on this. Thanks....
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on May 8, 2023 12:23:58 GMT -5
Getting a boner has been steadily becoming more difficult as time passes. Pills often don't do the job anymore. So I saw a Urologist about a month ago. After the initial visit and answering a bunch of guestions I was evaluated as being moderate on the ED spectrum. After a follow up and discussing the various treatment options we agreed to go with TriMix, a combination of 3 drugs often prposcribed for ED.I was told it would be a trial and error thing to figure out the right dosage for me. I initially started witha dosage of .1 ml. Had zero effect. So a week later I increased the dosage to .2 ml. DAMN !!!!! I had what was probably the biggest and hardest erection in my life. And when I ejaculated I nearly called out to my God for help. But then my erection didn't want to go away. Fortunately the pharmisist who compounded the TriMix had included a medication called Sudoget, a nasal decongestant of all things. After about an hour and 30-40 minutes my erection slowly disappated. So 2 was too much. I next tried 1.5. Again I had a great erection. But I was unable to ejaculate, and I really had trouble getting the erection down. It took 4 hours and 6 pills before my penis stopped pointing skyward. ( 2 pills worked the 1st time) I don't know if not ejaculating played a role in how long it took for my erection to go down or not. I need to do more research to see how important the role of an ejaculation is. Talked with the pharmisist who compounded the TriMix. He said to drop it to .5 ml on my next try. He also said he would call my Urologist and recommend a prescription for phenylephrine. It's what I would get at the hospital if I ended up there in dealing with my erection issue. This is turning into a hell of a learning experience..... On the positive side I am getting pretty good at talking to female pharmisists (3) about dealing with a stubborn erection.....
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Apr 29, 2023 8:45:23 GMT -5
BIG question; do you LOVE her or just her ability to provide sex ? IF you DO, learn to cope and encourage her to participate to the best of her ability. IF she LOVES you, she will. If NOT, leave. I was in your circumstance 40 years ago .....EXACTLY. Realized I deeply loved her and every single thing about her with the exception of her asexual nature. She loved me as much and we compromise. NO REGRETS !!! I went back to read your initial posts. This is quite a dramatic change from your origional feelings. What does the compromise consist of, that you are now willing to accept what was before not acceptable for you? Or was her part of the compromise a dramatic shift from her previous actions/inactions?
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Apr 27, 2023 9:27:38 GMT -5
The irony of this also struck me. But I am giving her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she sees the car and house as means to an end. Both seem necessary if one is to thrive in our society. I've been reading this woman's stories for over two years now, and know that her ex narc H was extremely successful at taking everything. So a car and a house are reasonable goals. Then there's the other 99% of her article that I liked reading and agree with! Was there anything about her article that you liked? or agreed with? I like the way she surmised the years of struggle as non profitable. I also think I looked at my SM as nonprofitable. What should have been a really good pairing ended as a loss for both of us. Her loss for being unwilling to favor me and my needs as opposed to favoring the opinions of her sexless soriety sisters. And a loss for me for not finding a way to get my sexual and intimacy needs met while remaining in the marriage. And I liked the tenacity with which she clung to being the person she really was inside. In my case I did basically the same. I refused to become the sexless male she wanted. I ended the scenerio where she made all the decisions regarding my emotional and physical needs, and returned to persueing the things that went a long way toward a more fulfilled life for me. I am still doing that.
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Apr 26, 2023 5:29:39 GMT -5
"I am the girl who grew up in the country outside of metropolitan Washington, D.C. chasing the magic of fireflies, dogs, and horses."
She has a vision board. When she decided to add pictures to resurrect her old self, she chose a car and house. The irony of this also struck me. But I am giving her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she sees the car and house as means to an end. Both seem necessary if one is to thrive in our society.
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Apr 24, 2023 7:31:54 GMT -5
While worksforme2's suggestion to have his t-level and thyroid level checked is good in that problems with either can cause low libido, your man doesn't seem troubled by his low libido. To me, that indicates that he never has been a sexual person. This is just the way he is. My experience has been that men who love sex will seek help if their libidos drop. They don't feel like men if they aren't sexual. At least that's the way my post-SM partner has been. He'd always been a high-libido person, but when his libido dropped, he saw his doctor, got his t-level tested, started taking testosterone, and uses Cialis, too. He wasn't even involved in a relationship then. He did it because he didn't feel like himself. I've also seen a doctor when my libido dropped even when I was sexless in a sexless marriage. I didn't feel like myself. Thus, I think if you have to push your low libido man to get checked out, he's probably just not a sexual person and is happy with being low libido. Thus, he's not compatible with you, a high-libido person.His lack of sexual interest isn't your fault nor is it something you can change. You can set yourself free to find a partner who is sexually compatible. It could well be that he has always been low libido. If that is the case then he may well not recognise his condition for what it is. He may think he is perfectly normal and that it is his W who is over active. I am just speculating but if he doesn't have period in his life where he was very sexually active then he would have no reason to think his testosterone may be low or his level of lack of desire for sex was not normal.
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Apr 21, 2023 8:03:57 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Apr 20, 2023 10:10:04 GMT -5
mirrororchid has an interesting point. the cultural expectations that can come into play when east meets west. what is the background of your W I may ask. and what is your family history? is she hispanic, far east, middle eastern, arab, african? it could go some way in explaining her lack of desire for you.
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Apr 18, 2023 9:01:15 GMT -5
welcome to the forum jr. sorry you find yourself here in this predicament. The 1st thing thast suggests itself to me is that this woman clearly no longer sees you as an attractive or desirable mate. whether she ever really did I won't venture a guess, but she clearly doesn't now. your W is in her 30's as are you I assume. she should be at the peak of her sexual desire, yet she is content to go without for months. if you have read much here you know that the 1st yrs in a relatonship are generally the most sexually active. that being the case it doesn't bode well going forward. you don't mention the possibility of there being a medical condition that might be causing the problem. I suggest the 1st thing you need to do is eliminate that possibility. if she is medically fine then it's time for a sit done and make it clear to her what her actions and inaction are doing to the marriage. she has to know in no uncertain terms she is running the marriage into the ditch. does your W love you? my gut feeling is that she does not. sorry to be so blunt. you might consider seeing a marriage counsellor or a sex therapist, but the overall consesus for that approach has not been very positive. she may have married you because she heard her biological clock ticking and you appeared to be the only game in town.
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Apr 18, 2023 5:07:05 GMT -5
I am in agreement with pretty much everything my fellow ILIASM members have posted above. My contribution to the discussion would be to have his testosterone checked along with perhaps his thyroid. At 45 his T levels could be on the low side resulting in low desire. This would be an easy fix with testosterone suppliments. I can testify to their effectiveness on a mans libido. If he checks out hormonily as OK then you are back to mismatched libidos. If you want to continue on with this man, that leaves you with the decision to suck it up, and rely on the toys to address your sexual relief, or add another partner into the mix.
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Apr 12, 2023 17:23:03 GMT -5
Clothing makes the man....Naked people have little to no influence in society......Mark Twain
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Apr 10, 2023 16:27:14 GMT -5
Escaped about 7-8 yrs ago Married for 5yrs. Sexless -3yrs. Sort of in between partners at the moment. NC is my home.
UPDATE: Oct. 30... Just met someone. Looks pretty promising. Widow with little experience other than piv and giving her H oral when he developed ED. Looking forward to teaching her how to deep throat, how to enjoy anal sex and giving her the 1st experience of being on the recieving end of oral sex. Oh yeah, musn't forget,....she says she most often swallows unless she decides to spread it over my penis and then lick it off. Looking forward to the coming months.....sorry about the pun..
|
|