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Post by Isabellas39 on Nov 30, 2016 17:34:40 GMT -5
This is so raw and true ! I definitely understand wanting out because I feel it too often. Being in a SM can definitely have some very negative effects on our emotional well being... I think when you feel like there's contempt ,and not even a friendship remains then that has to be hell ..I'm sorry, and I hope you get out and find your happiness!
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Post by Isabellas39 on Nov 22, 2016 20:26:19 GMT -5
Holiday or any kind of sex ended about 9 years ago..I have no idea the exact number because I stopped counting....
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Post by Isabellas39 on Nov 19, 2016 10:53:57 GMT -5
I would say no if I knew it would become a sm,however, I am torn because my son came from this union..Marriage has taught me a lot and it's something I will not do again.I regret losing myself, and staying out of the workplace for so long. Sometimes, I feel I revert to the depress teen version of myself where I had very little control over my life. I know it's all in my head and I can start over, but it's difficult... I do agree with Baz when he said we are writing our history each day with our choices, or non choices..It's a healthier way to view life!Each day is a chance to become the person I long to be....
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Post by Isabellas39 on Nov 11, 2016 14:11:15 GMT -5
I am very thankful to those that stick around and share their experiences. It is a great help for me, it helps me to understand the things I should work on, and it gives me some hope..Heck, I quote some things I read here when chatting with my best friend about relationships in general.I also learn something from the dating stories, and the self discovery that comes with it .
Thank you to all that stay, and share with us who are still stuck in SM hell....
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Post by Isabellas39 on Oct 13, 2016 20:16:41 GMT -5
We come here, we shout and scream, we are the victims we have the evidence, we have EP and Dearabby. We talk and make suggestions but the one thing we don't do is question our spouses or hold them accountable. No on here says "why wont you fuck me" they will give you it's not the right time or they wouldn't understand or so many reasons.............. so tonight just ask the question " why wont you fuck me" and post your response In the beginning I asked this question many times...I have zero interest in asking again.
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Post by Isabellas39 on Oct 6, 2016 8:50:26 GMT -5
Bballgirl, I love the way you think ! It's so empowering and it's something I strive to daily..
Celt, I believe she definitely dodged a bullet...A supposedly married man trying to control another woman while refusing to give his last name, and lying about his age ? Ridiculous!
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Post by Isabellas39 on Sept 27, 2016 10:37:08 GMT -5
It's possible,even though,I've never seen any proof of cheating. I just don't believe he would, but I would be royally pissed if I found out he was cheating from the start. I would be mad because of all the times I've expressed how this made me feel...If you simply don't want me, then let me go !
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Post by Isabellas39 on Sept 25, 2016 11:52:23 GMT -5
One thing that I realize in retrospect is how much dishonesty there is in a SM. We lie to ourselves that it's not so bad, that's it's all good bar the sex, that it will magically improve. Our spouses lie to us by pretending the same, by reset behaviors that they know are not meaningful indicators of change. And we lie to them by omission, by not calling them out and being honest about our needs. My resolution now is to cut the bullshit completely. If your spouse can't handle honesty, then there is a problem in the marriage. This is very true ! So much dishonesty because you need to keep the peace.. My husband says I love you a lot, and it drives me batty.. When I can't take it anymore I respond with, "Do you want to have that discussion about what the word love means to both of us again?"..This usually brings about some silence, but just for a short while. I don't respond to I miss you much, and if I do I say the kids miss you...I just don't understand how you can feel love when there's no intimacy...I just don't get it.
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Post by Isabellas39 on Sept 21, 2016 18:51:30 GMT -5
Hateful people ! I don't understand why anyone would say those words to someone they care about. None of us remain young forever..If my husband ever said that to me then that's my cue to leave and never look back ...A real friend lifts you up when you're down , I just don't understand . A stranger going out of their way to say something unkind is just insane. I think that's someone with some serious issues.
I'm sorry you're having a tough time, and I hope you're home safe...
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Post by Isabellas39 on Sept 20, 2016 12:35:54 GMT -5
I missed a lot here..I have read the thread and I understand what the mods were trying to do. I have only had good experiences here..I may not share the same views as some, but that's life. I don't think you can please everyone every time, and some may disagree ..I think discussions should play out because we all wouldn't always agree.
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Post by Isabellas39 on Sept 17, 2016 8:27:06 GMT -5
I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but I think when I tell my wife I love her, there's an asterisk on the end, and fine print at the bottom that says something to the effect of, "but not really in a husband- wife way, more like a friend you've known for a long time kind of way." This is very true for me also..I don't like saying or hearing those words anymore because to me it should mean so much more..
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Post by Isabellas39 on Sept 3, 2016 8:29:10 GMT -5
Congratulations!! I look forward to reading your stories from oppositeland.
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Post by Isabellas39 on Sept 3, 2016 8:23:09 GMT -5
Smartkat, I'm sorry for your loss xx
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Post by Isabellas39 on Sept 2, 2016 9:39:39 GMT -5
Love this song !
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Post by Isabellas39 on Sept 1, 2016 15:47:45 GMT -5
I don't believe the bible endorses rape,slavery, or murder... When Cain killed Abel he was punished ..The bible will speak of the past as any history book would, and I don't think anyone believes the history books condone all the things mentioned. Christians live in the New Testament ...Jesus preached about loving one another, and treating others the way you would want to be treated.. There are quite a few Christian churches that emphasizes the need for intimacy in marriage in their couples classes... I think people lump Catholics and all others that follow the bible into one whole group..People can read the same book and have very different views. There are grounds for divorce in the bible , and again there are many Christians who are divorced and living their lives without worrying about eternal damnation..Heck, my church has groups for those going through divorce. I'm not trying to convert anyone to my way of thinking, I'm looking for my people. In real life I don't have a space to go to meet with like-minded people. In fact it doesn't feel safe to say I am a non believer to most people in my real life. I have close friends who are devout believers of various sects and faiths and I leave them with their beliefs and stay in the closet about my own because while their beliefs don't prevent me being their friend, expressing my beliefs would prevent them being mine. Our beliefs can coexist I believe, as long as you don't impose your values on me, I won't impose mine on you. After this thread I'll be back to my usual closet, no worries. Helen, it doesn't bother me at all that we have different views on this topic. I just gave my opinion. We actually are similar when it comes to live and let live ..I agree wholeheartedly, that people can coexist .I do believe that online we get to speak our truths and sometimes we may disagree, but in no way it means we can't be friends .
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