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Post by darktippedrose on May 5, 2016 18:24:41 GMT -5
doesn't sound like a good therapist to me. Yeah, I have been thinking of ditching her for a while now. I stick with her though because part of my overall self improvement goals is to learn to deal with conflict and to be more confident in myself. She challenges me in those ways since we don't see eye to eye on some things. It's good for me to use instances such as that to practice my ability to handle conflicts with someone in a calm and productive manner. Plus, she does have her strong points. Still, I'd love to go to a new one to get a new perspective on my marital issues. I may move onto another therapist some day in the near future. I'm not sure yet. I would highly suggest a new one. Any therapist that de-emphasizes your problems is not a good therapist. imho. Your problems are valid and they're just making it worse. Thats like electing a refuser as a therapist. ughhh
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Post by darktippedrose on May 3, 2016 1:55:54 GMT -5
I am curious if family makes SM worse for you?
Sometimes I confide in my family, or vent to them. But then I just end up getting grilled by them and I feel much, much worse.
My grandma will get an upset stomach. My aunt gets sooooo angry because he uses me. She says I have battered woman syndrome. I can admit how wrong he his, but the moment he's home I just freeze up. I have no idea why.
My aunt says He's a dog. She just found out I pay for all the billz with the kidz SSI money, otherwise we'd be on the streets. She's pissed. My great aunt lectures me on how I can live on my own. Theres no way I can make it on my own and get everyone, including myself to all the drs appointments.
my great great aunt just prays that one day, when the time is right, that God will take him from our lives forever.
Does anyone else's family take your venting and just make it feel 10x worse?
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Post by darktippedrose on May 1, 2016 21:18:48 GMT -5
It depends on the day lol. Some days I feel like L O V E is a 4 letter word used to manipulate people. Some days i feel like I'll never find it, that I've never been meant for it, and no one could love someone like me. Other days, I daydream that my husband is dead and that I have found my idea of a lover/best friend that actually gets me. I would go for door number C. (Only don't wait until he is dead!) I know I shouldn't, but it would be so convenient hehe
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Post by darktippedrose on May 1, 2016 21:17:28 GMT -5
I have been wanting to find pretty underwear and bras that make me feel cute. I prefer to feel cute and adorable as opposed to sexy. Idky.
but I'm also plus sized so its hard for me to find. and I have a horrible time finding a good bra.
my husband also hated lingerie. I wore lingerie under my wedding outfit, we went home, he told me he didn't like lingerie. He dind't know I had it on. He went to the masjid to pray and I felt so ashamed so I threw my lingerie away.
My husband now says that some things are for wives, and some are for the side (female dogs)
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Post by darktippedrose on May 1, 2016 19:50:58 GMT -5
It depends on the day lol.
Some days I feel like L O V E is a 4 letter word used to manipulate people.
Some days i feel like I'll never find it, that I've never been meant for it, and no one could love someone like me.
Other days, I daydream that my husband is dead and that I have found my idea of a lover/best friend that actually gets me.
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New EP
May 1, 2016 3:53:47 GMT -5
Post by darktippedrose on May 1, 2016 3:53:47 GMT -5
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Post by darktippedrose on May 1, 2016 3:33:47 GMT -5
So I went to my first REAL counseling session. The one before this was just Q & A and history.
I've always thought my husband might have Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Sociopathic Tendencies. I told my counselor this. My counselor/Psych Dr. thinks he has Anti Social Personality Disorder. Aka - a Sociopath.
Wow.
Generally thats just a person who has a complete disregard for other people's thoughts and emotions. Manipulates them and controls them. Doesn't see them as people. Very little conscience; doesn't feel bad or guilty for transgression, etc.
It is very much LIKE my husband.
It felt really good to talk to someone who doesn't already know my husband. He knows what role to play and when, what to say and how to say to whom.
And Mr. Psyche completely understood this. He said that I'm very overwhelmed. That I was stuck and he understood why I'm staying. He says that this forum is VERY therapeutic for me and to keep it up.
It felt really good to get some perspective.
And to realize my husband is worse than I thought, lol.
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New EP
May 1, 2016 3:19:55 GMT -5
Post by darktippedrose on May 1, 2016 3:19:55 GMT -5
you can now add friends but you can't message them yet. Features are being added again bit by bit.
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New EP
Apr 28, 2016 15:16:28 GMT -5
Post by darktippedrose on Apr 28, 2016 15:16:28 GMT -5
yes indeed. I think they opened up early so they wouldn't lose EVERYBODY. so many places, so much competition or whatever. I can't wait for more features.
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New EP
Apr 28, 2016 0:35:02 GMT -5
Post by darktippedrose on Apr 28, 2016 0:35:02 GMT -5
not many people that I recognize. Not all the features are there yet. And also some people have changed their names, their profile pics. So its like swimming in a see of lost people.
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 27, 2016 18:17:15 GMT -5
I'm a realist. Most people say I'm a pessimist lol.
hoping for something unrealistic as my husband changing me, or hip giving me reset sex for him to give me hope and then to stomp on it. that kind is bad.
I still have hope. Just not for him. I have hope for MYSELF. put yourself first instead of everyone but you.
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 27, 2016 18:14:41 GMT -5
the new EP has opened. yay.
not all the features are available yet. right now you can only post a story and add a profile pic. but its there. Already one judgemental comment lol.
that was super fast lol.
I think I was a bit too excited about it.
but now that it started, Im so glad we got us a separate site from other EP-like sites.
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 27, 2016 15:33:10 GMT -5
thank you SmartKat. I deeply appreciate it.
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 26, 2016 18:41:04 GMT -5
I am suspicious of any sudden change in behavior. who knows whats really going on in his head. but I probably wouldn't be too fast to trust it.
just my 2cts.
and I am like you. I don't find my husband attractive anymore. I'm not sexually attracted to him at all. I have desires, but not for him.
and thats ok. nothing wrong with how you're feeling.
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 26, 2016 14:04:11 GMT -5
today is a bit better. physicaly I'm feeling down. I feel something coming on. a little bit of a sore that, chills, feeliing blah. probably gonna lay down in a wee bit.
thanx.
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