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Post by Frustrated1978 on Oct 12, 2017 20:00:26 GMT -5
She is just giving you more why chasing. Realities are for whatever reason she just does not want to have sex with you anymore.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Oct 12, 2017 19:49:32 GMT -5
I would of confronted and addressed foul behaviour much sooner and enforced some real consequences. How are you now, lovie? Missed you! Im well thanks. Kids and work are keeping me occupied. Basically live my own life and spend little time with wife. How are you? Ive missed your sharp wit but have been reading up and catching up here.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Oct 12, 2017 19:45:56 GMT -5
She's not in the mood cause i didn't clean the house to her liking I kept being told what an awful partner i am so it must be true The kids will hear The cat is watching I did not cook dinner I obviously said something to offend her Perhaps she is having an affair She is tired She is sick Obviously im too nice
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Oct 12, 2017 19:40:49 GMT -5
You make valid points and choices. But before doing any of the above it would be wise to visit a lawyer and have an exit plan in place based around the advice you have been given regarding your individual circumstances.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Oct 12, 2017 19:34:29 GMT -5
For me initially there was denial, bargaining, anger then resentment a lot of resentment. Now i'm at just don't give a shit. I basically live my life immerse myself in my kids, career, friends, and sporting hobbies. I accept the situation for what it is and have made the concious decision that i stay for the kids as i dont want to be a part time dad. I am fully aware that at some point my wife might choose to not stay however i think she is too afraid to lose her comfortable lifestyle.
However its funny cause my refuser seriously can't seem to work out why i don't like to spend any time with her and gets quite angry.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Oct 12, 2017 19:23:26 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing your story. Any decision you make has a consequence. So far your decision to stay has made you very miserable. However that is a valid decision. I completely understand on why you had an affair. I had one myself. All it did for me was solve a short term itch and create a long term headache.
Read up here and take whatever advice you think is helpful to your situation. Always remember you have a choice. At the very least see a lawyer for a free consult and find out how a Divorce would pan out for you.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Oct 12, 2017 19:17:09 GMT -5
Well done on taking the first steps. You will know soon enough if his promised changes are going to be long term. I hope he doesn't fall into the trap of appeasing you for 3-4 weeks cause he had the shi..t scared out of him then let things decline from there.
Personally judging by your picture you seem like a very attractive lady. I cannot see why any red blooded man would not want to sleep with you. That said who knows the way a Refusers mind works.
I hope it all works out for you. That said as others have stated before prepare your exit plan just in case you need to deliver on your ultimatium.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Oct 12, 2017 19:11:17 GMT -5
I once saw an episode of the Sopranos where Tony visited every top lawyer in his city in an attempt to derail any future divorce proceedings from his wife. Are you sure your refuser hasn't seen the writing on the wall and done the same to you. lol
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Oct 12, 2017 19:07:51 GMT -5
I would gather wife does actually care about sex just not with him. This bloke sounds like a real arse hole
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Sept 25, 2017 23:57:25 GMT -5
Thoroughly enjoyed reading your story. Its a true testament on how things should be done. Its unfortunate that Refusers only realise when its all too late the damage they have done.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Sept 25, 2017 22:14:31 GMT -5
I would of confronted and addressed foul behaviour much sooner and enforced some real consequences.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Sept 24, 2017 21:48:51 GMT -5
You do have choices. They might not be pleasant and faced with consequences you might not necessarily like to confront but you always have a choice. At present you choose to stay and tolerate the situation which is a choice in itself.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Sept 24, 2017 21:28:12 GMT -5
Unfortunately you only have two choices. Both ain't easy to make but needless to say one needs to be made.
You can either choose to take a stand and inform your wife that you will no longer tolerate the situation as it is. This choice will involve enforcing consequences which might mean seperating, visiting lawyers, and a split of assets leaving you both financially poorer. However this option has long term benefits and is considered a long term investment.
On the other hand you could choose to accept the situation and not bring it up and enjoy life's pleasures where you can.
I truly believe that when the sex dries up in a marriage barring some underlying health issue which is properly diagnosed by a medical professional then the possibility that the Refuser might be engaging in an affair should always discreetly be examined.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Sept 24, 2017 21:19:19 GMT -5
Unfortunately you have indicated that your marriage is a lot like others here. The sexlessness is not the issue rather it is a symptom of some other underlying issues in the marriage. Keep reading and contributing here. It really helps.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Sept 24, 2017 20:55:34 GMT -5
Your husband is full of crap. To answer your question the Refuser will accuse the Refused of being selfish, etc when they complain about their sexless situation.
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