|
Post by choosinghappy on Mar 16, 2018 7:05:13 GMT -5
H was "too tired" to have sex on our wedding night. I'm curious as to how many others here had the same experience. Foreshadowing, perhaps?
|
|
|
Post by elynne on Mar 16, 2018 7:13:24 GMT -5
H was "too tired" to have sex on our wedding night. I'm curious as to how many others here had the same experience. Foreshadowing, perhaps? Let’s see... we had two wedding nights. Ceremony and dinner for immediate family in Amsterdam. 7 months later a big wedding party back in the States. Following our wedding dinner and party at the country club, H picked a huge fight with my mother. It was awful and I found it really ungrateful after the amount of dough my parents had spent on the wedding. Sex was certainly not on the table as we were both fuming. But looking back with hindsight, I wonder if the argument he started was a way of not feeling indebted to my parents (protecting his independence) and as a bonus a way of creating distance.
|
|
|
Post by WindSister on Mar 16, 2018 7:25:40 GMT -5
I voted from the place of my first marriage, the sexless one, and that answer is no. I do recall feeling that was somehow not right, but I squelched that feeling fast just like I did the feelings of doubt I had as my dad walked me down the aisle.
|
|
|
Post by baza on Mar 16, 2018 7:45:00 GMT -5
After our salubrious wedding at the registry office, we had the piss-up reception at our flat...self catered... about a dozen drunks guests attended this hi-light of the social calender. We were both too hammered to have a root - as far as I recall. I voted "no" above.
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on Mar 16, 2018 8:08:31 GMT -5
We did but as soon as we got back from the honeymoon the switch was flipped.
No foreshadowing here. Just broadsided by a freight train that kept chugging along for 20 years before I could disentangle myself from the carnage.
|
|
|
Post by ironhamster on Mar 16, 2018 8:17:12 GMT -5
Too tired on our wedding night, but, honestly, we really did have a fun, long, and exhausting evening at the dinner and following party. If she'd have been game, I'd have found the energy.
|
|
firefollower
Full Member
Only you can prevent forest fires
Posts: 154
Age Range: 51-55
|
Post by firefollower on Mar 16, 2018 8:30:13 GMT -5
Yes, we did...but it's interesting...this was first time that I saw her attitude shift...her...well, ok, I guess we have to since it is our wedding night...me, don't do me any favors. The honeymoon was great.
|
|
|
Post by surfergirl on Mar 16, 2018 8:50:31 GMT -5
Worse. He wasn't too tired. He just couldn't get it up. I was a virgin, and not a frigid one.... Also couldn't perform for the honeymoon either.
|
|
|
Post by hopingforachange on Mar 16, 2018 9:45:06 GMT -5
I've always had the thing to have sex with my future wife in the wedding gown. The big beautiful puffy, white gown, that is the visual symbol of the marriage ceremony. To get lost in all the layers, to laugh as you have to find the easy thru them and push and flatten then down to kiss her.
I believe we had sex in the wedding night, but after taking the dress off of her and talking the Bobby pins out of her hair. For her it came from the place is duty sex, not the consummation of our love and desire for each other.
We only had sex a few times in the honey moon, again not what I was expecting. There were other things that happened that added to the red flags all over the place but I was too blinded by love.
|
|
|
Post by choosinghappy on Mar 16, 2018 10:12:48 GMT -5
No sex on the wedding night but we did have sex on our honeymoon - because I initiated every time and I "did all the work" if you catch my drift.
He refused to have sex in the beautiful shower built for two. He refused to have sex in the jacuzzi tub in the room. He refused to have sex in the soaking tub out on the veranda. He refused to have sex anywhere but in bed, at the same time of day each time, while we were in the most amazing, sexy, romantic place we had ever been. Hello, red flag!
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Mar 16, 2018 11:25:02 GMT -5
Yes twice. Once on the bed then later in a bathtub. Honeymoon was lacking - once or twice in ten days. Red flag for sure. The woman I am today would say "WTF?" and call him out. The woman I am today would have certain expectations in a marriage and sex is one, so I would speak up. I did not speak up enough in the beginning. Well now he's not my husband, there's no marriage, and expectations are different.
|
|
|
Post by Pinkberry on Mar 16, 2018 11:48:26 GMT -5
Nope, we were screwing all the time back then and it was good, but then the wedding night rolled around and suddenly...nothing. We didn't have a traditional wedding in any sense of the word. I got the day off from work and he took his lunch time so that we could go down to the courthouse. He went back to work after, but it was nothing he didn't do every day in an office. So, the no sex really floored me. I was all amped up for the connection of our first time as a married couple and he was just meh. It should have been a big red flag. I was disappointed, but justified it to myself as people don't have sex every single night all the time. One night off is no big deal.
He was also meh when we finally got our wedding bands from the store. Mine came in first and I asked him to put it on me. He did and it was a sweet moment, but really just a moment. When his came in, I figured we would do the same thing and I would put the ring on him. Instead, he got in the car and put it on himself while I walked around to my side. My jaw just fell and he said something about how the ring was "just a tag" so that everyone knows he is married and he was glad to have it, as though it would prevent the necessity of having to beat off hordes of single women trying to bed him.
The sex did continue to be good and frequent overall for the first several months. Then we moved and everything began to change.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2018 15:21:30 GMT -5
Nope. "Tired" "Such a wonderful exhausting day" "Let's get some sleep first" So...didn't want to be a jerk and we had been living together for a couple years so it didn't seem like a big deal at the time. Obviously now, red flag. Apparently I'm thick enough in the head that I decided to why-chase for the next 20 years.
|
|
|
Post by mypaintbrushes on Mar 16, 2018 15:59:09 GMT -5
He wanted to watch Casablanca first, and fell asleep during the movie.
We went on a three week honeymoon, and only had sex a handful of times. I should have known.
|
|
|
Post by james on Mar 16, 2018 16:48:27 GMT -5
Yes- but I had to persuade her and remember thinking it was a bit strange.
|
|