Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2018 19:22:36 GMT -5
Weird that I'm the outlier, but three times on wedding night. That's three more times than over the past two years.
|
|
|
Post by choosinghappy on Mar 19, 2018 21:58:14 GMT -5
Nope, no sex on wedding night. Waste of gorgeous lingerie. He was "too tired". Instead it was a brief coupling the following day, no foreplay, his only position (spoon from behind). Very interesting merrygoround: I felt the same way about my beautiful, sexy, "virgin" white lingerie bought just for the wedding night/honeymoon. Sadly, it has never seen the light of day. And my H's only allowed position for many years was also spoon from behind! I have to assume now that I know of his issues, that is because it is the one that offered the least amount of intimacy to allow him to get through it. Ugh, awful.
|
|
|
Post by baza on Mar 19, 2018 22:15:59 GMT -5
On the thread - "Why Did You Get Married" I noted that the reasons we came up with were largely pathetic or breathtakingly naive (especially my own).
I am inclined to the same view on this thread. They are pretty sad reading (mine included).
I am not trying to take a cheap shot at anyone (I'm as culpable as anyone) but geeeeez.
|
|
|
Post by Carol on Mar 19, 2018 22:28:31 GMT -5
No to sex on our wedding night also. We didn’t get home from the reception until almost 1:30am. We started opening cards/ gifts. By the time we got done it was after 3am and both of us were very tired. I think we did when we woke up but it’s been so long I can’t remember.
|
|
|
Post by ihadalove on Mar 19, 2018 22:45:19 GMT -5
I still get bitter if I think about this one...
|
|
|
Post by h on Mar 20, 2018 4:29:20 GMT -5
I still get bitter if I think about this one... Me too. The excitement of anticipating a night of passionate sex (which would have been my first time) only to be crushed by the realization that it wasn't going to happen. I try not to think about it for too long or else I get very bitter and resentful.
|
|
|
Post by elkclan2 on Mar 20, 2018 5:35:11 GMT -5
Ugh - spoon from behind! It took me a long time to be able to enjoy that again. I still get shivers when I think about our attempt at reset when he told me had to spoon from behind and he wanted me to stay 'perfectly still' and not move at all. I can't believe I said that was ok. it wasn't.
|
|
|
Post by merrygoround on Mar 20, 2018 7:27:21 GMT -5
Ugh - spoon from behind! It took me a long time to be able to enjoy that again. I still get shivers when I think about our attempt at reset when he told me had to spoon from behind and he wanted me to stay 'perfectly still' and not move at all. I can't believe I said that was ok. it wasn't. And don't dare make a sound as that's "off-putting"!
|
|
|
Post by elynne on Mar 20, 2018 8:27:18 GMT -5
Ugh - spoon from behind! It took me a long time to be able to enjoy that again. I still get shivers when I think about our attempt at reset when he told me had to spoon from behind and he wanted me to stay 'perfectly still' and not move at all. I can't believe I said that was ok. it wasn't. And don't dare make a sound as that's "off-putting"! Oh no! That’s awful! It’s like being a blow up doll.
|
|
|
Post by tirefire on Mar 20, 2018 15:11:04 GMT -5
Ugh - spoon from behind! It took me a long time to be able to enjoy that again. I still get shivers when I think about our attempt at reset when he told me had to spoon from behind and he wanted me to stay 'perfectly still' and not move at all. I can't believe I said that was ok. it wasn't. Perfectly still? WTH? I'm pretty sure that isn't normal for most men. I'd be very disappointed if my partner was just still!
|
|
|
Post by tirefire on Mar 20, 2018 15:12:50 GMT -5
Ugh - spoon from behind! It took me a long time to be able to enjoy that again. I still get shivers when I think about our attempt at reset when he told me had to spoon from behind and he wanted me to stay 'perfectly still' and not move at all. I can't believe I said that was ok. it wasn't. And don't dare make a sound as that's "off-putting"! I can't even comment on these fast enough! Who doesn't want to hear their partner show enthusiasm and passion? So broken. Sorry to hear this happened to you.
|
|
|
Post by elkclan2 on Mar 20, 2018 15:48:19 GMT -5
OMG merrygoround - were we married to the same guy? WTF? tirefire it was pretty clear he didn't like passionate me. I'm a passionate person. Although I have a science and economics background and think myself fairly logical in many ways, I'm passionate in bed and out. I think he did like passionate me out of bed though. It is my understanding that most men DO want a passionate and responsive partner. I do sometimes feel guilty when I bliss out and can't move but my current partner and former AP have both assured me it was ok in those circumstances. (Hope it is!) ETA h I can't believe you lived with your then fiancee and didn't have sex. I want to congratulate you for your restraint and castigate you for your lack of awareness - though not too much I'm sure you've beat yourself up plenty in hindsight and we should forgive ourselves for not seeing red flags when young. I would NOT have been able to wait. It took everything I had in me to wait ONE NIGHT with my current partner.
|
|
|
Post by h on Mar 20, 2018 16:06:53 GMT -5
OMG merrygoround - were we married to the same guy? WTF? tirefire it was pretty clear he didn't like passionate me. I'm a passionate person. Although I have a science and economics background and think myself fairly logical in many ways, I'm passionate in bed and out. I think he did like passionate me out of bed though. It is my understanding that most men DO want a passionate and responsive partner. I do sometimes feel guilty when I bliss out and can't move but my current partner and former AP have both assured me it was ok in those circumstances. (Hope it is!) ETA h I can't believe you lived with your then fiancee and didn't have sex. I want to congratulate you for your restraint and castigate you for your lack of awareness - though not too much I'm sure you've beat yourself up plenty in hindsight and we should forgive ourselves for not seeing red flags when young. I would NOT have been able to wait. It took everything I had in me to wait ONE NIGHT with my current partner. The naive ignorance of my beliefs was very strong back then. "If I wait until marriage, everything will be great and I will be rewarded..." I was an idiot.
|
|
|
Post by elkclan2 on Mar 20, 2018 17:34:50 GMT -5
h I had sex with my husband before marriage and it was shite and got worse after we moved in together and before we got married. So who's the bigger idiot? :-)
|
|
|
Post by xpiatio on Mar 20, 2018 19:45:45 GMT -5
My wife and I fooled around before we got engaged. I would have called the frequency to be nice healthy relationship. After we got engaged and talked to a pastor, we talked about waiting until marriage. Things never quite got back to where they were.
|
|