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Post by DryCreek on Dec 9, 2017 12:51:03 GMT -5
My wife never wanted to talk about our histories. My history, or her history. I have no proof, but no doubt that she had an experience where a boyfriend broke up with her because she was a cold fish. Maybe more than one. She learned her lesson. Keep the game going until the ring is on. W was engaged before we met; it failed shortly after she moved in with him, though she would never discuss it. It dawned on me far too late why this probably was. I'm confident that led her to deny her asexuality instead of admitting to it. One day, before we were engaged, we ran into a guy who knew her but I'd never met before; no introductions were made, and it felt awkward. It seemed as if he was itching to clue me in to something, but we never got to talk privately. (At one point he rather bluntly asked if I was planning to marry her.) I've long suspected it was her ex. Oh, to have come so close to knowing the truth when it could have mattered.
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Post by rejected101 on Dec 9, 2017 18:22:11 GMT -5
My wife never wanted to talk about our histories. My history, or her history. I have no proof, but no doubt that she had an experience where a boyfriend broke up with her because she was a cold fish. Maybe more than one. She learned her lesson. Keep the game going until the ring is on. And the babies arrive.
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Post by rejected101 on Dec 9, 2017 18:31:34 GMT -5
My wife never wanted to talk about our histories. My history, or her history. I have no proof, but no doubt that she had an experience where a boyfriend broke up with her because she was a cold fish. Maybe more than one. She learned her lesson. Keep the game going until the ring is on. W was engaged before we met; it failed shortly after she moved in with him, though she would never discuss it. It dawned on me far too late why this probably was. I'm confident that led her to deny her asexuality instead of admitting to it. One day, before we were engaged, we ran into a guy who knew her but I'd never met before; no introductions were made, and it felt awkward. It seemed as if he was itching to clue me in to something, but we never got to talk privately. (At one point he rather bluntly asked if I was planning to marry her.) I've long suspected it was her ex. Oh, to have come so close to knowing the truth when it could have mattered. I think it is literally like a criminal act to steal someone’s life away like that. A disgrace. The thing that really angers the hell out of me though is that I wouldn’t, I just couldn’t do it to someone. I’d rather have lived unhappily and single than con a partner in to marriage and force my asexual life in to them. Personally, I think Facebook could make billions if they had a ‘rate your ex’ section so that people could pay a nominal fee to find out 3 things. Did they ever cheat? Did they enjoy regular sex? Did they show any signs of falsifying who they really were to achieve commitment? It would solve so many problems. I would have paid £100 to check my wife’s last 4 partners views on this and no doubt they would have said... No No Not sure
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jetcity
Junior Member
Searching for an answer
Posts: 62
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by jetcity on Dec 9, 2017 21:29:42 GMT -5
If you really want to continue the relationship then you won’t mind if you’re boyfriend goes out and finds some intimacy instead of your “accomedation”.You obviously don’t understand how ridiculous that sounds to a person who’s libido is still alive. It’s like saying the depression that killed Robin Williams was something he should have just snapped out of.
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Post by rejected101 on Dec 10, 2017 7:04:47 GMT -5
My wife never wanted to talk about our histories. My history, or her history. I have no proof, but no doubt that she had an experience where a boyfriend broke up with her because she was a cold fish. Maybe more than one. She learned her lesson. Keep the game going until the ring is on. W was engaged before we met; it failed shortly after she moved in with him, though she would never discuss it. It dawned on me far too late why this probably was. I'm confident that led her to deny her asexuality instead of admitting to it. One day, before we were engaged, we ran into a guy who knew her but I'd never met before; no introductions were made, and it felt awkward. It seemed as if he was itching to clue me in to something, but we never got to talk privately. (At one point he rather bluntly asked if I was planning to marry her.) I've long suspected it was her ex. Oh, to have come so close to knowing the truth when it could have mattered. My wife is intelligent, fun loving, in general she is very kind and caring and she has a good work ethic. She is stunningly attractive and I do mean stunningly attractive and 5 years my junior. Prior to me she was with someone I knew of from playing football. I didn’t know him well but knew of him. He was 3 years older than me meaning 8 years older than my wife. I often thought to myself, what on earth was he thinking because I knew that he ended the relationship. I literally looked at Facebook pictures of him and thought, you will never ever pull someone as good as my wife again (he was a very average looking guy) and why would you have ever wanted to end it? She’s so easy to get on with, so easy to have fun with and of course her looks was the little cherry on the cake. It only really dawned on me when I read your post that he probably saw the road ahead a lot earlier than I ever did. He saw that sex was going to be one of those ‘maybe next week’ activities. He is now married to someone who in comparison to my wife would readily be completely overlooked if both girls were in a bar or club together. But I bet she has the same attributes as my wife and the bonus of enjoying his company in the bedroom too.
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Post by M2G on Dec 10, 2017 7:43:51 GMT -5
W was engaged before we met; it failed shortly after she moved in with him, though she would never discuss it. It dawned on me far too late why this probably was. I'm confident that led her to deny her asexuality instead of admitting to it. One day, before we were engaged, we ran into a guy who knew her but I'd never met before; no introductions were made, and it felt awkward. It seemed as if he was itching to clue me in to something, but we never got to talk privately. (At one point he rather bluntly asked if I was planning to marry her.) I've long suspected it was her ex. Oh, to have come so close to knowing the truth when it could have mattered. My wife is intelligent, fun loving, in general she is very kind and caring and she has a good work ethic. She is stunningly attractive and I do mean stunningly attractive and 5 years my junior. Prior to me she was with someone I knew of from playing football. I didn’t know him well but knew of him. He was 3 years older than me meaning 8 years older than my wife. I often thought to myself, what on earth was he thinking because I knew that he ended the relationship. I literally looked at Facebook pictures of him and thought, you will never ever pull someone as good as my wife again (he was a very average looking guy) and why would you have ever wanted to end it? She’s so easy to get on with, so easy to have fun with and of course her looks was the little cherry on the cake. It only really dawned on me when I read your post that he probably saw the road ahead a lot earlier than I ever did. He saw that sex was going to be one of those ‘maybe next week’ activities. He is now married to someone who in comparison to my wife would readily be completely overlooked if both girls were in a bar or club together. But I bet she has the same attributes as my wife and the bonus of enjoying his company in the bedroom too. My case: In the first 10 years no issues with sex except how to make time for more. From then on a slow strangle down to nothing. In the looks department, the brainpower department, and any other department I married well. No one, could have seen this SM coming. Honestly, back when we first got together, if someone told me this was coming I probably would have said: "Fuck it - I'm still going to marry her!"
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 10, 2017 7:46:59 GMT -5
My X had a # of negative things to say about her 1st H, mostly that he would not keep a job for extended periods of time and that she was forced to become the primary sustaining source of income. One tidbit she did share a year or so before we began going downhill re: intimacy, was that he wanted to add another woman to the mix for 3somes. At the time I thought, he just wanted a bit of kinkiness. In retrospect I now wonder if perhaps he experienced the same decline in their intimacy, and that if so, it may have played a role in ending their marriage. It might have been relevant to know(or maybe not) back in the days of "why" chasing.
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