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Post by shamwow on Oct 19, 2017 11:58:54 GMT -5
And the key there is not that I don't love my kids. It took me a while to separate that out in my head.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 19, 2017 12:06:59 GMT -5
And the key there is not that I don't love my kids. It took me a while to separate that out in my head. Correct! Just to add onto that, I love my kids SO MUCH that I chose to give up a lot of comfort,and face trials and tribulations, to remove them from a toxic environment.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 19, 2017 12:35:26 GMT -5
And the key there is not that I don't love my kids. It took me a while to separate that out in my head. Correct! Just to add onto that, I love my kids SO MUCH that I chose to give up a lot of comfort,and face trials and tribulations, to remove them from a toxic environment. I'd agree with that too. Although for me, I didn't see the toxicity until after I'd started the process of leaving, so I can't say mine was that noble. Apparently I am weak minded, since my ex-wife's Jedi mind tricks worked on me.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 19, 2017 12:37:28 GMT -5
Correct! Just to add onto that, I love my kids SO MUCH that I chose to give up a lot of comfort,and face trials and tribulations, to remove them from a toxic environment. I'd agree with that too. Although for me, I didn't see the toxicity until after I'd started the process of leaving, so I can't say mine was that noble. Apparently I am weak minded, since my ex-wife's Jedi mind tricks worked on me. Don't feel bad about that at all!! It took someone else, my therapist, to point it out to me, and others on this forum!
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Post by darktippedrose on Oct 19, 2017 14:35:39 GMT -5
oh boy. when I think back to when I met my husband, I think, of a train wreck. ughhh.
BUT, I love my kids and I can't bring myself to regret them. I just know I don't want to repeat this mess when I finally get out of it.
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Post by hopingforachange on Oct 19, 2017 14:40:07 GMT -5
oh boy. when I think back to when I met my husband, I think, of a train wreck. ughhh. BUT, I love my kids and I can't bring myself to regret them. I just know I don't want to repeat this mess when I finally get out of it. I don't regret my kids at all, I just want to have them with someone else.
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Post by TMD on Oct 20, 2017 20:19:26 GMT -5
And the key there is not that I don't love my kids. It took me a while to separate that out in my head. I don’t think any of us question our love for our children. I certainly don’t regret them. And frankly, my roommate and I (and I deeply, sincerely, truly know this) will be excellent co-parents. Nope. No regrets. The kids make me a better person, and I hope I am doing the same for them.
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peiguy
Junior Member
Posts: 26
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by peiguy on Nov 3, 2017 12:22:09 GMT -5
If I could do it over, I would have had a heart-to-heart talk with my now wife when we were dating and had become serious. As in, we're having lots of sex now and its awesome, but what do we do if and when things change and one of us wants it and the other does not - long term. Of course I don't expect sex when one is sick. Or pregnant where miscarriage is a real possibility. Or tired. But where there is no interest long term - what's the plan?
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