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Post by mypaintbrushes on Feb 13, 2022 22:53:11 GMT -5
Very happy for you! Isn't it so nice to be out of a sexless relationship (my divorce was final last month)? You sound very happy and I know the feeling! Congrats! Congratulations on your divorce! It is SO nice. Not only the sex (no complaints there) but in terms of having a partner with whom to shoulder the burdens of life… as well as share the joys.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Feb 9, 2022 13:59:29 GMT -5
Prince Charming
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Feb 9, 2022 2:47:11 GMT -5
My ex-husband began talking, a few months ago, about retiring and moving to a particular foreign country in a couple of years.
About a week and a half ago, I was out at dinner with PC and for whatever reason decided to check Facebook while he was checking work messages. That was how I learned my ex is moving in a few months. Our 18-year-old will live with me full-time until he’s ready to get his own place.
Ex finally told me in person almost a week later. He is already going through the process of giving away just about everything he owns, including the cat he adopted last year.
I’ve asked my son how he feels about his dad basically leaving permanently. He replied that his dad intends to visit once a year and “We’ll FaceTime”.
I have literally said to PC, “Thank you for being normal!”
He has expressed that he is glad I’m out of that relationship. I am too.
He has an interesting relationship with his ex as well. I am also glad he’s out of that situation.
We’ve already been through so many highs and lows in the time we’ve known each other - we definitely know we can problem solve together.
As we start making the transition from new couple to long-term couple (we’re closing in on 2 years soon), I love him more and more all the time. In many ways, this feels like my first “real” relationship.
And… I find him incredibly sexy as well.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Feb 9, 2022 2:30:34 GMT -5
So sorry, on all fronts. I have no words of wisdom, but everything is temporary.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jul 2, 2021 0:27:42 GMT -5
So… my ex and son are back home. I got my 18-year-old back.
Ex is going to Mexico at the end of this month in lieu of the Philippines (COVID restrictions); while he was out of town, he found the time to send my mom a very long text about what horrible people we all are. In part:
I wish ManyPaintbrushes well but I don’t want her in my life anymore..the neglect and horribly unhealthy conditions (and just plain selfishness behind them) that [son] had been forced to live under have been too much and too ongoing for me to bear. PC seems like a great guy and, if he and MP work out, then that is good for son..so I am rooting for it to work out but I am confident that it will eventually fail (unless there is a huge and permanent change) and I am worried about how that is going to affect son.”
I can only assume he’s pissed off about a bathroom I’m always after my son to clean. He hasn’t been allowed in my house in a good long while. He also sounds bitter af. That’s my interpretation of events; he and I no longer speak, and nothing really precipitated his attitude.
Anyhooo… the origin of my username is that I’m an artist and I’m working on a piece of artwork to give to PC’s mom this weekend when I meet her for the first time. I can’t believe this is my new life, seriously.
I have moments, late at night, when I question whether I truly deserve this (ex’s nastygram above was unintentionally well-timed), so I’m very nervous meeting new “in-laws”.
However, everyone from PC to his best friend, stepsister and even his 15-year-old have all assured me it’ll be great. Let’s hope so!
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jun 21, 2021 20:19:44 GMT -5
Hi all!
I don’t really come on any longer, but something told me I should give a quick rundown of what’s been happening lately.. which is a lot of good things!
I’ve now been divorced over a year and a half and am working toward refinancing my home again on my own (you’ll recall my ex nearly pushed us into foreclosure). I cannot begin to tell you how incredibly validating it is to see my credit score top 720 for the first time ever and to have available to me interest rates that are in line with market. I’ve made it as a single homeowner so far just fine!
Back at the beginning of Covid, I met a man, Prince Charming (he kind of resembles him). We passed our one year dating anniversary in April and are still going strong. He is, by far, the kindest most loving partner I have ever had and the more we get to know each other the more we realize we are very alike and very different at once. He was also in a SM and we’ve been making up for lost time with each other. 😉 Over the next holiday weekend, I have plans to travel with him to his mom’s house, where I will meet her, some cousins and nieces and nephews and possibly a good friend from PC’s Junior college days.
To say I’m madly in love would be an understatement. I am positively enamored. I love cooking with him, going on hikes, late night cuddles, surprising him with gifts… you name it. I get the butterflies *and* he feels like home. I can’t really describe nor explain it.
Between the two of us are five kids, ranging from almost 13 to almost 20. My son (my only) graduated from high school a week after his second oldest; both are heading to college in the fall.
PC came to my son’s graduation party and met my mom, brother and sister-in-law, one of my cousins and his wife and their kids and nearly all my neighbors. He also gave my son a grad gift and had helped me with both my front and back yards, so he gets huge brownie points. My mom LOVES him.
If anyone can think of something I can give his son to enhance the college experience, I’m all ears!
My ex absconded with our son for the entire month of June, so I feel like an empty nester. With the lockdown in my state having been lifted last week, I have been slipping back into my pre-Covid routine of spending time with friends playing trivia, going to karaoke night, and performing at different open mics (I did comedy last night). I took PC to trivia and music open mic; he is consisting karaoke. 😀
My ex is, apparently, getting a mail order bride from the Philippines. I know no other details except that she is almost 25 years his Junior and he plans to meet her for the first time next month. He changed his relationship status on Facebook about three months ago and has been having our son talk to her on video chat. Not my circus, not my monkeys, but I did think it was funny that our then 17-year-old laughed at his dad when he said “I’m probably going to marry this woman and have more kids with her”.
What else? Back at the end of February I I fell very, very ill. I basically contracted a foodborne illness which turned into a bowel blockage. I spiked a fever of 104°F and lost 17 pounds within a matter of 2 to 3 weeks. By the grace of God, I eventually recovered. The weirdly ironic thing is that I am thin again, which means I am apparently more attractive to the opposite gender than I was, judging by a few random comments I’ve gotten. But… other men are completely unappealing to me now.
PC stuck by me while I was going through all that, and the stuff with my ex… just as I had stuck by him while he was going through some insane stuff with his ex (and kids, and taking on more responsibility at work). And, here we are. I’m quite content! 🥰
Ok, that’s long enough. How’s everyone?
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Post by mypaintbrushes on May 6, 2021 1:17:14 GMT -5
I haven’t been here in forever, but something bugged me to check in. Jeezus, so sorry to hear about the insanity that’s ensued; I’m glad you two have each other.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jul 11, 2020 17:06:02 GMT -5
Well, we figured it out! He had something he had to take care of that was taking the bulk of his attention. Also, both divorces are finally final (I know this is surprising for many, but California divorces can take forever). So we’re back... he used the word “boyfriend” the other night and we have tentative plans for a night of camping next weekend.
I *would* date a Republican, but not somebody who embraces beliefs I view as widely harmful. I’m firm on this; furthermore, I’d never advise anyone to bend their core beliefs in order to get laid. Luckily, there is variety in the world and we are all entitled to our opinions.
And with that, I’m out.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jun 25, 2020 1:45:32 GMT -5
Interesting. Well this guy advocates that women embrace the “most polarizing thing” about them in order to effectively whittle down the number of guys in order to get to the RIGHT one: www.youtube.com/channel/UCLmWAye6mr1j0OByneQBzTgMy point in posting my profile was to demonstrate that I am not, in fact, leading with my body and looks like I proved that quite well. At any rate, I counted the number of matches in my queue on that particular app and narrowing the field wouldn’t be horrible. Again. Finding sex is easy. Finding someone who is truly compatible takes work. I want a guy who’s not going to be turned off by dating an ambitious woman. If that is offensive, so be it.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jun 24, 2020 18:11:12 GMT -5
It’s very common to see that on profiles here. In many and perhaps most other states that phrase would be detrimental to your dating efforts. Have you ever used Bumble?
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jun 24, 2020 17:58:20 GMT -5
It’s very common to see that on profiles here. In many and perhaps most other states that phrase would be detrimental to your dating efforts. Good thing I’m not dating across state lines then!
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jun 24, 2020 14:34:35 GMT -5
Actually, you "lost" me at driven. From Bing: compel to act in a particular way, especially one that is considered undesirable or inappropriate. "he was driven by ambition" Using thesaurus.com, these negative-connotation synonyms flesh out why I was put off: consumed, impelled, obsessed, possessed, compulsive. There were a couple of synonyms that are more positive: ambitious and motivated. But that's just me. You might feel that "driven" is an accurate descriptor. OK, what’s the objection to it? This is a professionally written profile, by the way. We wanted to convey that I am a professional who more or less has my shit together (because that’s honestly what I’m looking for as well; someone who has their own career). I am definitely not looking for a sugar daddy or a replacement dad for my son. So what’s the issue?
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jun 24, 2020 10:33:40 GMT -5
You lost me at Liberal leaning. LOL It’s very common to see that on profiles here.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jun 24, 2020 1:33:34 GMT -5
Well, here’s the dating profile. Has several head and shoulder shots of me, in professional dress... “What if it turned out match.com was a dating site for pyromaniacs? Hello gentlemen, If you made it this far into my profile, I take it that means my photos passed the test. Would you be reading this otherwise? Without further ado, here I am in a virtual nutshell: I am a driven, responsible [what I do for a living] divorced with one son. I am looking for a long-term relationship that starts with a solid foundation of friendship. In the context of a loving relationship, I know how to be vulnerable and “go all in”. I love trying new things and getting out of the house, but appreciate a quiet night in with my guy. I am giving and love physical affection. If you’re an open-minded, caring, liberal-leaning man who takes care of himself and doesn’t mind (OK…loves) cats and kiddos, we should meet (and maybe get off these apps once and for all!) Sorry, but Trump supporters, arrogant men and smokers need not apply. OK, enough about me already. Tell me about yourself…”
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jun 23, 2020 14:19:26 GMT -5
This has been LITERALLY every guy I’ve dated since my divorce. Every last one has been avoidant and then bailed. Are all 40-something men avoidant, or is it just here in CA? The odds of older single men having some sort of relationship issues is definitely higher. If they are still single, never been married or in a serious longterm partnership and they’re over 40, chances are avoidant or some other major issue. If they are divorced and over 50, there is a reason for the divorce. Perhaps they lack an ability to discuss and work out issues in a healthy way. Maybe they can’t acknowledge and accept when a partner’s feelings or opinions differ from their own, maybe a narcissist or aspergers or borderline. Your best bet is on a widower, or someone who is kindhearted and trusting and had the bad judgement to hitch their wagon to a wife with major issues. Be forewarned. Most good guys have settled down and are making it work in the relationship they’re in. Be thankful that the ones you’re dating are showing their true colors early, before you develop an attachment to them! When you find a good one, take it slow. Let it develop organically. And treasure him. Just as he will treasure you. (Speaking from experience. My ex withheld affection, sex, attention, acknowledgement of my existence, access to joint accounts and finances once I traded in a finance career for motherhood. He was abusive physically, emotionally, financially. What hurt the most was his withholding affection. In stark contrast my current boyfriend is thoughtful, generous, and kind. He adores me, loves kissing, cuddling, touching me. Offers massages out of the blue. Buys my favorite brand of tea to keep at his house. He listens when I’m sad, he cheers my successes, he accepts my shortcomings without expecting me to change and he loves me. Me. Exactly as I am. There are unicorns out there. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t treat you well. I may need to pick your brain at some point. I’m about a year out from my son going to college and I’m thinking about relocating. For one, due to the high cost of where I live; for two, I’m wondering whether I might have a shot at having a better social life somewhere that isn’t as hustle-bustle as California seems to be.
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