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Post by becca on Oct 13, 2016 10:26:26 GMT -5
Thanks, @dan and @fiery- I book marked the site. Looks like lots of good reads. I quickly scanned and read this article. www.thebookoflife.org/why-we-go-cold-on-our-partners/"But the-self-that-loves within a relationship is not the normal adult we know from other zones of our lives. We may mostly be hugely resourceful and resilient, but the person who loves is an infinitely more vulnerable being." I also really enjoyed this article. Especially for those relationships where so much is right and maybe a little better communication can save it. I have come to realize, especially after this recent hurricane, that my marriage is past the point of saving. www.thebookoflife.org/artificial-conversations/
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Post by becca on Oct 11, 2016 12:28:12 GMT -5
It could have been worse. Well, can't seem to attach pic from phone but the tree went through the attic but not into the house. I have seen some that the tree split the house in half. I miss hot water. I miss the internet. But sleeping great at night with the windows open! Hope to be up and running by the end of the week.
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Post by becca on Oct 10, 2016 12:26:30 GMT -5
We are alive but did have a big oak land on our house and lost several trees. Some friends have it much worse.No water or power but we have a generator we are sharing. I cried when the National Guard rolled in to restore roadways and peace. So much good but also a few that turned it into the wild west with looting. My neighbor ran some off with a shot gun. They left their car behind...haha.I won't be responding to private messages. Conserving power but wanted to check in and say we survived it!
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Post by becca on Oct 6, 2016 10:40:01 GMT -5
For my friends facing decisions concerning Matthew. I feel your pain!
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Post by becca on Oct 5, 2016 15:58:44 GMT -5
I've been following this nervously- I've had a hard time making fun of our governor for declaring a state of emergency as early as he has, remembering what Floyd, Hugo, and others have done in years past. That is the challenge, isn't it? Taking it seriously. Too many false alarms. Floyd being the biggest nightmare. I have decided to stay put unless they make a mandatory evac of the islands. It just isn't worth the hassle. Hurricane party it is.
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Post by becca on Oct 5, 2016 10:43:17 GMT -5
Hmmm, I'll have to remember that if I ever try an online thing again: "references available upon request." Seriously online dating is like the Wild West and there is a lot of dishonesty out there. People putting up the wrong picture, not giving correct names, married, etc. A bunch of scammers that just want to get laid or get a free meal or find a sugar daddy. You have to be one step ahead and smart. And what is the point of lying if you plan to eventually meet someone?! A couple of weeks back I was with a girlfriend and she was meeting someone from online at the bar where we were. She showed me his pics. Nice looking guy. Then this man walks in looking for her that didn't even resemble the picture. It wasn't an old photo. It just flat out wasn't him at all. Who does that?! Just be yourself, warts and all or what is the point.
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Post by becca on Oct 4, 2016 17:22:51 GMT -5
Bullet dodged.
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Post by becca on Oct 4, 2016 10:52:33 GMT -5
It's another dance-y day over here too: (I think this is the only song with Meghan Trainor in it that I actually like) She poo isn't she. Really liked all about the bass becca .....the first time I heard it. Then I listened to the lyrics and saw the video and just thought she's horrible. Shaming anyone about their size or saying one body type is "better" than another really pisses me off. We are not simply dress sizes. Silly immature little manufactured popstrell! 😤 Damn...I think I just got music shamed! Hey, I just like to move. The girl can obviously sing but am I a fan? I don't own a single song of hers so, no, I guess not, but if I am out and it comes on, I am going to dance to it. My musical tastes vary greatly. Check out Kompoz.com for some really interesting things others are collaborating on in every genre. Fun stuff!
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Post by becca on Oct 4, 2016 10:21:09 GMT -5
It's another dance-y day over here too: (I think this is the only song with Meghan Trainor in it that I actually like) Come on now, CT. How do you not like All About That Bass?! That song screams for lots of booty shaking!
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Post by becca on Oct 4, 2016 9:23:58 GMT -5
The last time I met someone "just for lunch" we ended up in a cheap motel room for the afternoon. When the chemistry is right and you're both starving, anything could happen. When I saw the panties she was wearing, it was pretty clear she had been hoping for more than hush puppies and sweet tea. You can't judge a woman by her panties ha ha. I would never leave home in a crap pair... you never know if a hot paramedic may need to attend to you at some point he he. So true EO. And I think paramedics are predisposed to be hot. Like firemen.
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Post by becca on Oct 3, 2016 23:51:21 GMT -5
The last time I met someone "just for lunch" we ended up in a cheap motel room for the afternoon. When the chemistry is right and you're both starving, anything could happen. When I saw the panties she was wearing, it was pretty clear she had been hoping for more than hush puppies and sweet tea. I went there fully intending to see it through. Cute panties and all. I even bought a huge box of condoms just to cover my bases. Threw the box away and the condoms currently line the bottom of my computer bag. Maybe one day.
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Post by becca on Oct 3, 2016 18:58:57 GMT -5
Hi, my name is Mia. I'm new to this site and have never participated in any forum or blog before. I was just sitting at my computer thinking, could Google find me a site to answer this question...can a marriage survive without sex? I have been married over 32 years to the same man, have 2 grown children. Most of the marriage life has been good but sex was never the common factor of joy. I can say that our relationship is more of that of friends, roommates with family history, children and the commitment for better or worse. I'm not totally unhappy but I am not sure how to sustain us through the next part of our lives. Can a marriage continue on this path? Of course there is more to the picture here and therapy was no help. I have lost that intimate self, at least hidden it. Now I ask myself (or tell myself) it's ok to live a sexless life but I know thats not healthy. My husband's idea of intimacy and mine have never been the same. I think, gentleness, kissing, listening and communication is a common threat that women desire. My husband is, passive with his communication, blames others, verbally not nice and has problems with closeness especially when it involves his family. He is amazing in his world as a salesman, event planner but thats because he doesn't have to get too close. Oh yea, but out 6 lb toy poodle gets tons of affection! She is a safe and only gives affection back Now, how do I sustain this friendship (marriage) without benefits?
Welcome, Mia! I was you 3 weeks ago. Actually our stories are close to identical including the 2 grown children, the amazing salesman, living as roommates and losing your intimate self. That last part I didn't even fully realize until I was on here a few days. I was that numb. I won't proclaim to know all the answers but this is a place filled with information and people who understand where you are so please know you are not alone. You are absolutely not alone. I will try to save you a little time and let you know there is no cure. There is no 5 step program to fulfilling sex in your marriage. Yep, I was looking for that when I first arrived here. It isn't a club you want to be a part of but just know you have peeps here. Rediscover yourself and it is only ok to live a sexless life if that is something you want to do.
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Post by becca on Oct 3, 2016 18:50:07 GMT -5
"Can a marriage continue on this path?" - you ask. - The answer to that is an unequivocal "yes". - Indeed, if he keeps doing what he has previously done, and you keep doing what you have previously done, you are all but guaranteed that the marriage will continue on, just as it has previously done. - The only way your deal is going to alter its' trajectory is if one of you has a radical change of approach. - Your story reads like he is perfectly ok with how things are, so any change is highly unlikely to come from him. - That leaves YOU as the only probable agent of change. - What are you prepared to do ? Are you open to the concept of putting the marriage squarely on the line, up to and including being ready to end it, if you cannot negotiate an acceptable compromise ? - That's how serious you have to be if you are going to resolve this, one way or another. I need to print some of your stuff out and put it on my fridge. I have such an inclination in the other direction (2nd,3rd, 10th chances, believing what he says and not what he does and just pretty much keeping my Pollyanna smile on my face) so these straightforward "tough love" words are appreciated.
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Post by becca on Oct 3, 2016 18:45:19 GMT -5
I like when a man opens my car door before going around to the other side. I am not patient enough to wait for him to get out and come around on the other end of the journey but the thought is still appreciated. I also like seeing men stand when a woman returns to the table, however, you will only see this in the older set. If a man genuinely listens, is respectful and considerate and puts the woman first...he is a gentleman in my eyes. The other stuff is just dressing. Oh baza...
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Post by becca on Oct 3, 2016 14:18:05 GMT -5
Hi everyone. I'm new. I was on the EP group very briefly around the end of 2015. I can't remember my user name exactly but something to the tune of admistthechaos. Well, I went looking for the group again recently and realized the site was shut down awhile ago. But I'm glad I found my way here.... well, not really because that means I'm still in the grips of a sexless marriage. Anyways, a little background... we've been married 7 years, have 4 young kids. I quit my job 5 years ago to take on the role of sahm as thats what was required for my family to thrive at the time. I think our marriage has been sexless, at least by the clinical definition, all but the first year. Just gets worse and worse as it goes along. In the last 3 years, we've had sex 3 times- the last which was so awkward and unsatisfying don't even think it can be considered it. I confronted him august of last year (which is how i stumbled upon the original EP) group, but alas nothing has changed. He swears and swears he will do better... but his actions sadly never align.... sigh.... well, look forward to interacting in the group. Welcome! Sorry you find yourself here but you are with people that understand. Always follow the actions and not the words. Odds are he won't be changing so you have to decide what you can live with and that various from person to person. I am still trying to figure that out as well. Glad you found the forum.
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