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Post by unmatched on Jul 18, 2016 23:51:03 GMT -5
JMX there is no doubt sime people are extrovert and feed off others, some people are introverts and need their alone time. That doesn't make you an attention whore and I highly doubt you are one, you seem much too interested in the welfare of others to be entirely self centred. Introverts and extroverts can live well together given a little understanding. But loud self obsessed people are never easy to live with, and nor are depressed or over-anxious self centred neurotics. Or people who find human relationships too challenging and would prefer to avoid them altogether. I am not sure what I am trying to say except there are natural differences and then there are pathological ones, and not all the latter can be bridged.
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Post by cagedtiger on Jul 19, 2016 9:43:42 GMT -5
Just got an "I miss you. A lot." Email from my wife.
I really don't miss her all that much right now. I really, really miss the dogs. And her adorable attention whore of a cat. And the ridiculously social crawfish that she's accidentally almost killed twice now.
But I feel bad about not missing her as much, and really sorry that she's feeling so lonely.
And I've already been missing her, the her that I knew, for many, many months.
Is that bad?
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Post by Dan on Jul 19, 2016 11:49:31 GMT -5
She also reminded me, "I told you, so many times, that your deserved better than me," which I hated her saying, and I thought was just her being down on herself. My wife, too, has wrestled with her self-esteem: post-childbearing body; growing up as a child of alcoholics; somewhat emotionally abused by her step-father; minor (but "normal") setbacks at work or with friends. But I saw NONE of the self-esteem issues when I married her. I really felt she was bold, confident, even courageous. Where did that courage "go"? It has taken me a long time to figure out, but my best explanation is that the confidence when I met her was probably more of the anomaly... and the low-self esteem was the norm for her. Anyway, I spent the first 15 years of my marriage trying to be the good husband: support her, prop her up. I began to feel bad that I wan't succeeding at making her happy. My first therapist pointed out: "why do you do that? that isn't your job!" THAT helped me a bunch: I have become more detached; I do try to help her with her various emotional challenges, but I don't adopt them as my own failure if she isn't able to pull up out of her mire.
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